I been thinking long and hard about why it is that we are who we are. I have finally come to the conclusion that you don't live life on choice alone. Since we were born, our parent have impose different rules and regulations for us to obey. So ever since birth, we had to follow specific guild lines, some more than other. It is not until we reach manhood that we began to experience our own liberation. However, depending on our childhood circumstances, our choice become depleted and we lose our identity. Through all the years of learning and loneliness, we have lost the ability to become what we want to become, because the lasting effect of our childhood always seem to catch up to us.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Now I don't think I'll ever find love, is because well...

1. I can't simile (I had this disability as a kids, it due to lack of nutrition when my dad was a POW and he was not consider healthy) This is all the more worst for me, because it hard for people to tell that I'm friendly or that you want to be their bf, and you certainly can't smile to take a picture. This alone, has brought me up to look at the world differently. I knew I didn't belong in this society, because I'm just too different.

2. I don't have the look to boost up my confidence. When you get call "ugly" often as a child, and never once handsome, beside your family, well you get the point.

3. I have a boring background, never had a single decent holidays or birthday. Never play sport, join clubs, play instruments, do something crazy, party, drink, and etc...

4. I'm not a bad boy

5. I don't have the heights, I'm only 5'9, and most girls want tall guys.

6. I'm extremely poor, I could barely buy stuff for myself much less take a girl out to dinner. My college tuition was pretty much pay for with grants and loans.

7. I have social anxiety

My chance that I will ever find my dream girl is 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 (the same chances as winning the jackpot!)

My look on life is to live the best way I can. But lately it been interfering with my study. When your depress, it almost impossible to want to do anything. It hard to say where I will be in the next 4 years, it safe to say that whatever happens, it not gonna change much.

Since I have such a horrible life so far, I'm just going to continue living until maybe the day that I can man up and talk to a girl.

And I want a dog someday (my first pet ever!!!)

This post was last modified: 02-29-2008 08:01 PM by Chris 2.

I been thinking long and hard about why it is that we are who we are. I have finally come to the conclusion that you don't live life on choice alone. Since we were born, our parent have impose different rules and regulations for us to obey. So ever since birth, we had to follow specific guild lines, some more than other. It is not until we reach manhood that we began to experience our own liberation. However, depending on our childhood circumstances, our choice become depleted and we lose our identity. Through all the years of learning and loneliness, we have lost the ability to become what we want to become, because the lasting effect of our childhood always seem to catch up to us.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Now I don't think I'll ever find love, is because well...

1. I can't simile (I had this disability as a kids, it due to lack of nutrition when my dad was a POW and he was not consider healthy) This is all the more worst for me, because it hard for people to tell that I'm friendly or that you want to be their bf, and you certainly can't smile to take a picture. This alone, has brought me up to look at the world differently. I knew I didn't belong in this society, because I'm just too different.

2. I don't have the look to boost up my confidence. When you get call "ugly" often as a child, and never once handsome, beside your family, well you get the point.

3. I have a boring background, never had a single decent holidays or birthday. Never play sport, join clubs, play instruments, do something crazy, party, drink, and etc...

4. I'm not a bad boy

5. I don't have the heights, I'm only 5'9, and most girls want tall guys.

6. I'm extremely poor, I could barely buy stuff for myself much less take a girl out to dinner. My college tuition was pretty much pay for with grants and loans.

7. I have social anxiety

My chance that I will ever find my dream girl is 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 (the same chances as winning the jackpot!)

My look on life is to live the best way I can. But lately it been interfering with my study. When your depress, it almost impossible to want to do anything. It hard to say where I will be in the next 4 years, it safe to say that whatever happens, it not gonna change much.

Since I have such a horrible life so far, I'm just going to continue living until maybe the day that I can man up and talk to a girl.

And I want a dog someday (my first pet ever!!!)

1. If you can't smile..learn to deliver a joke to make people laugh.
2. Looks go so far anyway..learn to be confident.
3. Find what makes you happy as far as a hobby and follow it.
4. Bad boys generally end up working at some low paying job for life.
5. The size of the man does not depend on his height.
6. Geez..you're getting an education..so you're smart! And Wendy's has the dollar meal..and most students are poor..myself included.
7. Aaahh..now that's what's really the problem..you're holding yourself back.

Nobody can guarentee the future...nobody. Live for the day.

I have two dogs..and they're wonderful! The pound is full of unloved..unwanted pets. If you can't afford to buy one..foster one. They're always looking for people to help foster dogs and cats.
And they even pay the expenses of upkeeping the animal.

Oh and by the way..you've spoken to several people on this forum since you've been here..and half of them were girls.

WENDY'S HAS A DOLLAR MENU?, wow i'm off to find a Wendy's to spend my last dollars(all students are poor*tear*)

Good luck finding that special someone, just make sure you don't let yourself become a barricade to ,well.... Yourself.

I agree with most of what you said Arianna. However, there are a few things that we need to be realistic about. First, girls generally like the bad boy type because they like exciting guys, they like the chase. So that really has nothing to do with your future employment. Maybe women in their 40s won't tolerate that, but for 20 year old girls they can't resist. Guys like us feel the need to become bad/mean in order to get a girl because that's what all the girls end up falling for. I think that instead of saying that bad boys are not all that great...someone on this site should create a solution for this problem. One person thought of having a "nice guys finish last" forum, which I thought was a good idea. But simply stating that bad boys are low lifes does not do anything for us.

Also, for lack of better terminology, size does matter. Most women will candidly say that they want tall guys. However I don't think that 5'9 is that short. If you were 5'6 that would be bad, but 5'9 is like the avg height for males. There are plenty of 5 ft tall girls who would be fine with your height.

I agree with your thoughts about life, Chris. I think something that is extremely important is developing a social life in high school. If you don't do that you're essentially fucked. Some people break out of it and blossom later in life but the fact that I had no friends in hs made me awkward in college and beyond. There is some sort of development that needs to happen at that age, and you don't really understand the damage it causes until years later. If your confidence is crushed it's not easy to get it back.

WENDY'S HAS A DOLLAR MENU?, wow i'm off to find a Wendy's to spend my last dollars(all students are poor*tear*)

Good luck finding that special someone, just make sure you don't let yourself become a barricade to ,well.... Yourself.

Yep..at least where I go to school...hamburgers, fries, baked potatoe, chili, cheeze and chips...eh.. I am gettin hungry..

Bad boy types are usually just men that cover up insecurities..or otherwise they really are bad.. And I mean to the core that is. They often end up as losers..due to irrational behavior problems...like short tempers..etc. Which brings us to employment issues..if you have a poor disposition..you can't hold a job. Remember I am on the receiving end of all this because I am a young women at college. And I can recognize these types fairly quickly. Now..as far as women who want the dashing..tall...broody..kind of guy..well..excuse me..but most of these women are just as shallow. I am not saying looks don't help in the dating dept...what I am saying is.. I've met a lot of great looking guys that are..empty..self centered creatures. And no..not all girls are looking for this type of man. Serious minded women..want men of substance. Someone who has character and inner strengths. It's often the immature types interested in just their looks. So if it's just the 'physical side' to a relationship you want..you're right..looks count for a lot..but not in the long run because there is ALWAYS going to be a better looking person out there then the one you end up with. That's why relationships based on the physical alone..don't last.
There is someone out there for Chris..he just has to be more confident..a little less worrisome..and allow others to approach him. Oh and by the way..I know lots of short guys that have ended up dating lovely tall women. Like I said..it's not just height..it's the inner man.

1. I can understand why this would inhibit people from getting close to you- but really this is a shallow thing. Just let them know and it shouldn't be too much of a drawback.

2. Me neither. I've never been out with anyone I originally considered "hot". A person's looks always grow on me, with their personality. Personally I don't give a damn but I understand why it would make you less confident; although you're probably quite good looking (just being modest).

3. A boring background doesn't make you a boring person.

4. I laugh at those pathetic "bad boys"

5. I'm 5'1. I'd have to get a stepladder to reach tall guys.

6. I'm broke too. Material possesions and expensive evenings out mean nothing

7. Join the club

Hope it made you feel better. Most of your reasons are pretty superficial- girls who care about that stuff aren't worth going after. Believe me.

What percent of girls do you think don't care for "that stuff"?

I don't know. But there are atleast some, like me, who don't. They're the type that he deserves.

It's a shame that so many people are shallow. I hate it, believe me, I'm not the best looking girl around, nor do i want to be. But people don't help the situation by falling for others based sole on their looks/riches/other superficial qualities.

Damnit. I wrote a really good (read: I thought was insightful, probably came off as mightier than thou and we should all thank the gods for their intervention), reply and then the power cuts. Not funny, not even close.

I think the gist of it was: Social anxiety will hold you back more than anything else. Also if you can't smile you could become a god of dry wit (that sounds cruel and crude saying it, but theres a silver lining to every hurricane right?)

Also congratulations Chris 2 on your initiation into Nihilistic fatalism! (our motto is: "Yes we're right. No, it doesn't matter")

I can't say I can help you, I'm possibly in the bottom percentile for offering advice on this sort of thing, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm perhaps too young to know if that means anything. But perhaps you expect too much, there are no dream girls any more than there are dream guys. If you chase after one thing in life you'll never get the other things you need to catch up with your dreams, maybe. How would I know?