Hi,
To meet that special someone, women have to put themselves out there. This meaning, attending social functions, dinners etc. Who knows they might meet someone interesting in these events.
I have realized something funny about some of the events which I attend.
I am quite often out with expats whom I meet at expat groups.
For example there is a site that is designed for expats to meet others
like http://www.meetup.com.
However what striked me was:
1) First, the number of women always outnumber the men. Like let's say it's a dining out club, you get like 15 girls and 4 guys.
2) Secondly, the guys who come there are
-married (and cheating)
-separated (and cheating)
-have a girlfriend (and cheating)
-non committal men
-totally anti social guys who are plain annoying, don't want to connect.
I have checked out other clubs on other expats channels which are not in the country I live in (Germany). For example like France or US (various cities) and even other countries (UK) and men outnumber the women in any casual social get together event.
Now one can't say that the number of German and expat men are less compared to other countries cause when I go to a club, there are dozens and dozens and DOZENS of men in the clubs. Of course men who come to clubs are no good, since they are there for only one thing.
So coming back to the economics of it, there is supply. lol.
Why don't men show up in good numbers at a normal civilized expat event?
For a long time I assumed that maybe the women there bored them with their talk. Usually when I go there, I rarely converse with fellow women, cause they talk about the most lame topics.
Then I also thought that the reason why young men don't show up is because there is this common trend for men to "be involved in relationships without strings" so hence they only head out to bars and not to some meaningful event.
So what do you guys and gals say to this? Why don't normal men show up in good numbers at such events?

This post was last modified: 07-19-2008 10:40 PM by ClosetGeek.

I can't figure out any general reason for this phenomenon other than that you are just unlucky. I suppouse different men have different reasons for not attending to such events. Maybe they have their own circles or like you mentioned they just like to hang in bars/clubs. Some might just be too shy to even come (I might fall for that category depending on the day).

The reasons you mentioned might also hold some truth. I don't mind talking to different people, even if they have different interests and so on, but some people can just be boring. What kind of subjects they usually bring up then just out of interest?

And well, I suppouse in this day and age great amount of people, both men and women, has adapted this concept of "free love" and just hang in bars etc. trying to get satisfaction for their most primal needs. I find it saddening, but well, their lives not mine. I just hope someday I can have meaningful realtionship with mutual love to a person who sees me more than just bag of meat with a wang.

All I can say is just keep looking. There are decent guys out there who are more than just hairless apes driven by their hormones. I suppouse you could also think other ways to meet guys? I have no idea though where, heh. Some other type of social events, like some hobby thingie for example. Though I bet you have thought of that possibility already.

Hi CG Gosh, I couldn't tell you, girl. I don't know anything about expat. Have you tried speed dating? Thats a fun way to meet guys and guys show up for that...lol Or you could always try the shop and swoop.

**Naleena walks into the store. Red alert! Hot guy ahead!**
** mission impossible music plays**
**Nal grabs a buggy and swoops by looking out the corner of her eye. Is there a ring on that hotties finger? NO!!!**

"Oh, it's on now, boy!! Wait till I get turned around"

**Hottie stands in the frozen food section. What's that? Hungry man? Good sign**

**Mission impossible music gets louder as the excitement builds! Naleena's heart flutters! Little cupids fill the air and the hottie smiles at her!!!**

**Nal rushes toward him knowing what she must do! Then out the corner of her eye she spots her! The arch enemy- Other girl! She too, is familiar with the shop and swoop **

**They both race towards Mr. Hottie! Nal's comin in fast but Other Girl closes in from the outside! Nal is ahead by a good lap when all of the sudden she takes out a bag boy!**

"Damn!" ** Should Nal stop and control his bleeding and lose the hottie? Hell no! Nal throws the bag boy a pack of tampons.** "Apply pressure!"she yells back at him.

**Nal is in the lead. Other Girl is gaining fast. Hottie is straight ahead oblivious to it all.
Nal and Other Girl are neck in neck! All Nal can see is Hotties smiling face! Those pearly whites..those big lips...that.......
Before Nal can get there, Other Girl trips her landing her in the middle of the frozen fries!

**Mission impossible music stops suddenly as you hear a record scratch**

Other Girl wins! **Game show music starts playing** She made it! She flips her hair and Hottie is impressed. They start up a conversation and Other Girl walks out with her prize!

**Lights dim in the frozen food section. Painful moans from the bag boy are heard among the silence. A light shines down on Nal sitting in the middle of the fries **

But somewhere................in Muddville................is a freezing bum and a sad face.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the mighty Naleena has struck out.

Well personally I think if you want to find a guy, go to an event of a hobby you like to do. Not date events, because guys do not care honestly. I mean would I want to go to a place where theirs a pack of woman, that was brought to me by a date type site not really. I would rather run into a woman in a book store reading a book I enjoyed. Or going to see that unnoticed movie. However my major problems is I do not like going out because I am always alone, and do not enjoy the outside world. But if I see a female doing anything I enjoy it immediately makes her more attractive to me. So yes best advice is find a place where you love to be. And spend your time there.

Well I don't think that's a me only phenomenon. A girl I know, she used to attend such events. In the end she gave up after two years and no dates, and she started dating some jerk who she met through an expat dining event. Everyone knows he does not want a relationship. He dates women for like 2 months and once he sleeps with them, he never calls them again.

Hi CG Gosh, I couldn't tell you, girl. I don't know anything about expat. Have you tried speed dating? Thats a fun way to meet guys and guys show up for that...lol Or you could always try the shop and swoop.

I did not. The reason for that is, I want to date someone who has a similar background like I do. I mean like UPS delivery guys or taxi drivers. or want to be playboys come to such events who only went to elementary school or something. I don't want to date a rich man but he has to be educated and the guys who come to speed dating events are either uneducated guys or players who want to manipulate women who want a relationship. Meeting a jerk is already annoying, meeting an uneducated jerk is even more annoying!!!

My hobbies are arts and intellectual things, and every time I go to such an event, we have the same thing happening again, 15 girls and 4 guys and the guys are already taken or are emotionally not available.

This post was last modified: 07-20-2008 01:10 AM by ClosetGeek.

CG!

From what I've heard from my friends and others, love just falls right into your lap. My friends got in their relationships because of their friends introducing them to other people. Even my dad got introduced to his girlfriend, now being my step mom. I don't know a single person who has met anyone on a dating site.

Well that is tough but that is how it is sometimes. At least you are at a place you enjoy none the less is the way I see it. You seem to know they are emotionally unavailable so you seem to be trying to get to know them also. So I cannot say anything other then at least you are trying and maybe you will get lucky eventually. Also if the guy is taken, you can always make friends hes bound to break up with his girl friend eventually. Then you can steal him away.
Of course I also think this kind of plan leads to paranoia later on down the relationship. Because then you have to worry some other female who is playing his friend is just waiting to steal him from you. But I got this particular thought from a female friend of mine.

Hey Girlie
Have you tried this site out? It is a site where other women recommend these guys. Might be worth looking at.

http://www.greatboyfriends.com

Hi CG Gosh, I couldn't tell you, girl. I don't know anything about expat. Have you tried speed dating? Thats a fun way to meet guys and guys show up for that...lol Or you could always try the shop and swoop.

**Naleena walks into the store. Red alert! Hot guy ahead!**
** mission impossible music plays**
**Nal grabs a buggy and swoops by looking out the corner of her eye. Is there a ring on that hotties finger? NO!!!**

"Oh, it's on now, boy!! Wait till I get turned around"

**Hottie stands in the frozen food section. What's that? Hungry man? Good sign**

**Mission impossible music gets louder as the excitement builds! Naleena's heart flutters! Little cupids fill the air and the hottie smiles at her!!!**

**Nal rushes toward him knowing what she must do! Then out the corner of her eye she spots her! The arch enemy- Other girl! She too, is familiar with the shop and swoop **

**They both race towards Mr. Hottie! Nal's comin in fast but Other Girl closes in from the outside! Nal is ahead by a good lap when all of the sudden she takes out a bag boy!**

"Damn!" ** Should Nal stop and control his bleeding and lose the hottie? Hell no! Nal throws the bag boy a pack of tampons.** "Apply pressure!"she yells back at him.

**Nal is in the lead. Other Girl is gaining fast. Hottie is straight ahead oblivious to it all.
Nal and Other Girl are neck in neck! All Nal can see is Hotties smiling face! Those pearly whites..those big lips...that.......
Before Nal can get there, Other Girl trips her landing her in the middle of the frozen fries!

**Mission impossible music stops suddenly as you hear a record scratch**

Other Girl wins! **Game show music starts playing** She made it! She flips her hair and Hottie is impressed. They start up a conversation and Other Girl walks out with her prize!

**Lights dim in the frozen food section. Painful moans from the bag boy are heard among the silence. A light shines down on Nal sitting in the middle of the fries **

But somewhere................in Muddville................is a freezing bum and a sad face.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the mighty Naleena has struck out.

Is NO ONE going to give Naleena props for this? Christ.

Anyway, Naleena, very amusing- all the more so for the Casey at Bat reference at the end; I appreciated that.

actually never stoped to read what naleena had writen but yea thats pretty funny
*talking ebonic* NAL GRL U SO CRZY!
by the way Mr. Hottie shes talking about is me.
LOL

This post was last modified: 07-21-2008 02:49 PM by loketron.