You ever think that you want too much?

I saw that movie 'Becoming Jane' .. I love JaneAustin books; all of them are amazing. But she ended up alone. She had many offers at marriage but guess what ..she ended up alone; cause she wouldnt settle.

Now somehow I feel like my youth will pass me by; and this one thing in my life will never be fulfilled. Partially cause I'm so scared of the unknown, partially because I want too much.

Sometimes I listen to what people say they want in a lover. And it's like they list all these things that mean nothing to me....
Yet even though I dont judge on as many things as them, I still have higher standards.

It sucks as well cause I'm not pretty, or as though I have anything going for me that 'generally' speaking guys go for.
Yet still I want too much. I want a friendship (at least partcially) with a guy if I'm with him. But no guys seem to want that.

None; or every few... okay i'm rambling. When do you settle? what do you settle for?

I know relationships arent a walk in the park, but
YoU know for some people relationships are just.. a lable to sex with someone you can tolorate(at first)... eventually you usually get attached. Not sure though.. it's different 4 everyone
ahh okay .. rambled thread..

tell me what you want or think about settling for the one? or your chances of getting what you really want? what's your take on this waiting game?

I know it's simplier than I make it out to be 2.. boy likes girl.. girl likes boy.. they are happy.. they fight... that cant live with out eachother :0]
maybe at least..

You settle for whatever makes you happy. Don't keep looking for Mr. Perfect, he doesn't exist and there will ALWAYS be someone who is better for you. But if you keep looking for something better, you'll never be happy. EVER. If the person you're with makes you happy, and you feel like you can be yourself around them, and they don't treat you badly, what logical reason do you have to ever leave them? Just be happy, live life well, and die with a smile on your face.

I think you can meet a lot of people that have different qualities you're attracted to. For instance..someone makes you laugh because they have a good sense of humor. While someone else makes you feel safe because they are protective. See what I mean? You probably won't find all the qualities you're looking for in just one person..which is why I think people often stray from their partners. They meet other people with different qualities that they like..which their partner may lack. And so it goes..anyway..decide for yourself what you're most looking for in a person. A quality..(or a few) that are simply non negotiable. Something they must have in order for you to be happy..and make the relationship work.

You know, I feel like this too. I don't think that I want too much though. I feel like I barely want anything really but even these little wants that I have I can't find in a guy. I'm not going to settle though that would be wrong since my wants are already so little. It sounds like yours are too. Maybe it's all about patience. I don't really know jales but I know I'm getting fed up with the whole thing.

someone made me happy once.. i hope it happens again ..

ohhhhhhhh la la .. I really hope it happens again :/

I think to get what you want, you have to be bold and take some chances. If you're "lazy" in your pursuit, then you may just have to "settle". This principle applies to finding a lover, getting an education, getting a career or job, toning your body, and so on.

That's very interesting. I never thought of that.
Instead of thinking of it as "settling", maybe we should be more accepting of the imperfections of others, and more appreciative of their fine qualities. That might make a difference in our capacities for being satisfied or made happy by others.

This post was last modified: 12-10-2007 12:53 PM by jjam.

Indeed. Even the 'go-girl' magazines are starting to question the have-it-all attitudes they themselves have always paraded. Lonely middle aged women have realised that pride or high-flyer careers made them too choosy and so they've had to face up to the consequences of demanding the perfect man.

They now look perhaps with envy at the way men seem much happier to simply love a woman, warts and all, and stay with her for years without much of a second thought. (Apart from the cheaters, obviously). We can even put up with quite a lot of nagging, something I've found that many women simply wouldn't tolerate in return!

So just why can't women make the best of it with an imperfect man? It's not denying yourself at all, it's simply accepting that there are no fairy princes and princesses and that nobody's perfect - and as long as you're at least a rough match and can give and take then you should rub along quite well.

I'm a girl and I ask people this too sometimes lol..
Not just women, but men also. And if only people were more accepting of imperfections, I think the world will be so much better. But oh well lol..

I think partners should be friends, i know my ex was my bestfriend as well, as for imperfections i came to this realisation after being in the relationship it came to one day when i was getting annoyed at some flaw i just looked at her and thought to myself why am i getting annoyed? i love her and i have my own faults and idk after that it i was fine and very happy i guess and although in the end she was faithless i have not lost that perspective with people i want to be clost to, i think as long as you can be happy with someone know they will be loyal and can accept them for who they are then there perfect