Hi everybody! Before all, just say that I couldn't post this on the New Members forum, so I'm going to introduce myself right here. If some admin wants to move it there and at the same time allow me to post there as well, I'll appreciate it. 
Oh, and just before start, I'm afraid I do not handle the English language enough to write in a proper way, so please forgive my mistakes.
So well, it's time for my glory minute, the TV scene of "Hi, this is <write your name here>, and I'm... I..., Err... admit that I came here because I have <write some kind of addiction and/or maniac pathology here>". And... well, I guess in the future I'm gonna write in other posts my thoughts about my... well, "our" problem, so better write just about the main facts.
So this is me, let's say Vitalis, male, 20 years old, no artist vocation, living in Catalonia, Spain, and I admit that I consider myself as a shy person. I've been following this forum for a while and reading some of the other member's experiences, and I must say that helps to see some people that have the same problems than you. I suppose being quite isolated (socially speaking) makes even more difficult to find people with the same problems, so I was happy to find this forum.
My problem with shyness (or social phobia, or whatever it's called) comes basically from my childhood, when I had asthma. It was genetic, but this is not the point. The problem was not the illness itself, because I went to the hospital and some acupuncture stuff and it really helped me; actually, I got rid of it in 4-5 years. The problem was that this illness kicked my health, and made me really prone to catch colds and flus. Plus, until 16 yo I was living in a quite cold place, so you can imagine how my mom overprotected me for this. My life was simple: home-school-home-school... I was just allowed to get out with some hood mates when I was 14, and just the couple of warm months. And obviously just during the day.
This circumstance made me change. I was a nice child, really pleasant and happy, but this obviously changed my behavior and character. I was not allowed to play football with the local team, I was not allowed to do the homework in the library with my mates, I was not allowed to go to the parties, I was not allowed to... plus, people int he village started treating me and my family like if we were from some kind of sect, because neither me and my parents are very prone to social activities... and it contribute to my shyness.
At 16 yo I had the opportunity to leave the village and go to the city with my grandma. And I'm here since there. But obviously the problem still exists. I've been going to Major School for 4 years, and people here is quite different, and I don't really have problems with anyone because I'm really kind to everybody, but when they started inviting me to places... I refused it, because 1) I was afraid that they could laugh at me because I never did those things and 2) I knew my mom wouldn't allow me to do anything and go anywhere, so there was no chance to try.
And I'm still here. Now I've ended the studies and started to work. I have no friends to hang out and stuff, and basically my life is bed-work-pc-bed, except the weekends that is bed-pc-bed, with some basic biological functions between. The last 4 years I was really upset for this, but I have to admit that at last I've learned to accept myself and see the positive things of this.
The isolation have its bad points, and I'm sure you know them all, but it also have some good ones. I don't smoke, don't take drugs, don't drink, my liver and other vital organs are not under constant death threat, and the most important: instead of getting out, have fun and learning about how life goes out there, I was stuck at home reading books, encyclopedias, getting curious by everything happening, learning languages (4 for now), listening to civil war stories of my grandma and always trying to fulfill myself and feel realized with the few things that I had. Obviously the sad of not having friends or mates to hang out was (is, and will be) always there, but well... maybe for that I'm writing this right now.
Well, if you've read all this you're a hero/heroine, I feel like I've just finished War and Peace, actually. I'd like to put a happy end, but no, it'll have to wait some more years, maybe decades, but it will come. Won't it?
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