Ever since i can remember, ive never liked any type of human affeccion, if my aunt would hug me, id get away, i even remember getting in trouble once cause i bit my cousin for giving me a kiss in the cheak...
My last "girlfriend" dumped me cause i wouldnt kiss her, etc...

Why? whenever somebody says something sexual, i tend to simply walk away, and whenever somebody trys to flirt with me, i give them an evil look and i walk away... if get hit on, i act like a real jerk... why?

puzzzzzle...

A puzzle indeed. Is it that you would rather not be that why, or for others to be more accepting?

That is very odd. Maybe your afraid of anything that has to do with sex and love scare you?

That acutely makes me think that you have had a bad experience sexually. Now most young ppl would not really wont to be hugging there aunt cos of the embarrassment factor. But it should not be that much of a problem and it is how most family members show they love you. I very really get huged by anyone.

Now as far as bighting your cousin cos she/he tried to kiss you. (I don't know whether your a girl or a boy BTW) Well in any case that is a bit over the top. I would say the person that was trying to kiss you on the check was only trying to be nice.

I would be interested to know how old you are. As I think if your very young its not to much of a problem and it could be that your just someone that likes there space. If you need to discuss anything in privet you can PM any of the moderator team and what ever you say to any of them well remain privet between you and them. Not even another moderator well be told what gets said in a PM.

No one could say with any accuracy based on so little information. Bluey's thought on a bad experience also came to my mind though i don't know that it had to be sexual or just dealing with closeness.

As Bluey did, i wonder about age at the time of different incidents. I think it is common for a young kid to want to get away from a hugging aunt or be upset with a cousin kissing them. As far as not kissing a girl friend, i would imagine that is more uncommon but i was the same way for awhile so it isn't unheard of. I don't understand if someone flirting with you just makes you uncomfortable, maybe not knowing how to react or if it out right annoys you.

This just says that i don't know anything except that it isn't a lost cause.

Red,
I encourage you to see your health care provider concerning this.
What you are describing could be any number of things.

I used to hate being touched. I think it was because it happened so rarely (hugs in my family were limited to once a year on Christmas Eve), that when someone tried to touch me, it seemed completely foreign and frightening. I always jerked away and told people I didn't like to be touched. When I started college, I actively worked towards becoming more comfortable with touch by taking up ballroom dancing and becoming more physical towards other people myself. Now I'm ok with physical affection. The only problem is I don't have anyone to give me any.

Red Piper, were people physically affectionate with you a lot when you were young, or was it a rare occurrence?

Define wrong. Or if it's easier, define right.

Maybe it's because you don't open up to people very easily. It could be that, given the right type of person, you will respond to touch in a less hostile manner. Maybe blood relations are not sufficient for you to feel affectionate in a physical sense. Maybe you need people to be of a certain emotional and intellectual make up for you to share sensual interactions with them.

Or maybe I am over analyzing your character based on very little.

Perhaps it might be related, not necessarily to a previous experience, but perhaps something unpleasant/repulsive that you saw, on television or in real life, something that was related to a display of physical affection, and it had an impact on how you perceive all forms of physical affection now. Mm yeah, I'm no Freud, it's just a possibility. Actually, I can partly relate to what you said. While I enjoy hugging (although I don't get much of that), I detest kissing. Well, a peck on the cheek is fine but I mean mouth-to-mouth kissing. I always disliked kissing scenes in movies whereas people generally seem to swoon over those. I don't know why I'm like this either. It seems there are people like that but very few and far between. I'd also never talk to anyone about sex, it's just plain embarrassing to me.

This post was last modified: 06-08-2008 10:18 PM by Silvernight.