I had this happen to me recently, a girl who i've sort of known for many years off and on. We got to talking, it was pretty clear she liked me. I live far away from her, but I made an effort to stay in touch after I saw her while on vacation. We talked for just over a month, I even went back (an opportunity came up, and it meant i'd have a chance to see her while I was there), she clearly wasn't as interested in talking to me. About a month or so after I came back home she pretty much cut off contact. I did my best to confront her about it, asked why she wasn't talking to me anymore, if I did something or said something. She was polite and offered no reasons, but that was it, not a word more than necessary.

All I know is that I believe I have done the right things, and she had the opportunity (multiple opportunities) to tell me if I had done something wrong. I can easily contact her if I want to, and she can contact me, but every time I try to write something now I realize I've said all that I can. It's up to her if she wants to talk to me again, I pretty much expect that she'll give me the cold shoulder the next time I see her (I could be wrong, but it looks very dismal). Every so often I look at her profile or say hi (and get a very empty response), letting go isn't easy.. especially if you don't have many friends. I have a handful of friends, and even then it's hard to say I have a best friend. I sort of do.

All you can do is try your best, but friendship requires both sides to make an effort. And even when everything seems to be going perfectly fine they can just cut you off without an explanation. It's probably not something you've done, maybe they just don't value your appreciation and respect. The person i'm talking about is a total socialite, she's got more friends than she knows what to do with and I guess I was just the flavor of the week to them.

Well, i'm getting off course. If they don't value your friendship, screw em. Just shows the kind of 'friend' they would be, and probably are to those closest to them.

I experienced that sort of thing, more than once too. First time it was in high school, there was that new girl who came from another school. No one liked her at first as she was something like what "normal" crowd considers "weird". Well, I always find "weird" folks far more interesting that the so-called "normal" ones. So the long story short I befriended her and we had been best friends for about two years, maybe a little less. During that time she gradually became more popular and finally just sorta stopped associating with me. By that time, I'd say I was simply not cool enough for her, she'd found another, more popular friend and pretty much stopped talking to me altogether. Yes, I felt betrayed, especially because I'm "close friendship" sort of person and basically never have more than one friend at a time, but I let go. You can't force someone to be your friend if they don't feel like it. I understand all too well how you feel. It sucks. But it's more than likely not your fault at all. I'd say, just remember whatever best moments you shared and what you learned from each other - every friend happened in your life for a reason. Eventually, you're going to find others (even if you don't think it's likely to happen). I found a new friend when I least expected it and, actually, through this forum.

oh God! this happens to me so much, it hurts just reading these posts



I think i told tennis girl about this. But I'm just like a freakin stuick of deoderant

when i went into highschool there were many people who didbn't know me and were really interested in being my friend. I was fresh and new with a beautifully infigorating scent, So I was really excited and happy but kinda nervous. because friends had left me before, and i told them about that and I was hesitant to let myself get close. But they said they would never leave me and that they loved me.
They lied, they always lie.

Why is it so hard for me to see the truth, saying those things means nothing to them because they say it to everyone.

so for a few years we had a nice close knit group, but after years of being rubbed under peoples under arms. I was old cacked, with no scent and covered in armpit hairs. They throw me away and get a new deoderant. people get bored of me i think.

But this is what really sucks, i had a friend that i knewsince i was 8 and we were really close but about 6 months ago she just stopped talking to me. She wouldn't invie me over and she would ditch out whenever i tired to hang out. About a month ago i just got up the courage to knock and the door and ask what the hell I even apologised for whatever i did. She said we were still cool, and still friends. I haven't heard from her since, and I tried asking to go to a movie and she just declined. Every friendship I've ever had has ended like this. It has to be me, and I don't know why. I probably start to get to close and it freaks them out.

I keep thinking about college and how this is just going to happen again, I'll meet new people and make new friends and be happy for a while, but then they'll drop me for some reason, and I'll spend a year and 1/2 being depressed and feeling sorry for myself again.

maybe i just look for too much meaning in things. When i make a good friend I don't want to just hang out for a year then forget a bout each other. I want a friend that I've known since highschool a friend with history..wait that sounds bad but you know what I mean like jd and turk.

By the way what the heck is up with boyfriends always cheeting on the girlfriends best friend and vice versa. I'm sorry thats a little off subject, but it's not insanly uncommon. Dude iif i actually found a guy that i could be with and that happended I would be so mad, i'd probably go homicidal pyscho, or something. I doubt i wouldn't talk to ether of them, definitly break up. and if the friend wanted to still be friends they would have to cry and pay me like 500 bucks then be really reaally great friends until i finally forgot about the bitterness, and then we'd be good.

I mean i've never done anything like that and I still can't keep friends, and that can happen and they'll just be like oh well lalalalalaa, then probably just have threesome

I hate people

sorry for the rant but it felt good to get some of these thought out.

oh God! this happens to me so much, it hurts just reading these posts

Aww, I'm sorry that it has happened to you a lot of times before *hugs*
It's awful really to go through such things in life..I mean especially when you really see a friend as someone meaningful in your life.

Yeah, I think this is quite true also with the people I meet. They say a lot of the normal nice things people would say but you can actually tell they're just saying those things for the sake of being nice or just saying it but in reality, they don't really care at all. *shrugs* I could never understand why people are this way though. It would rather be better if most of them who do this do not pretend...hurts the receiver if the receiver can't see their true colours and to find out later on.

I'm sorry if people think this way about you.. but seriously? I've been reading a lot of your posts around here, nothing boring about you. People just don't know how to appreciate the good things in life and always want more. When they want more, they tend to scrap what they already have.
I have been told by a friend how boring I am lol. And it wasn't even in a joking manner. Ouch, but who cares? Some people may find me boring, some actually find me okay so it differs.

Have you noticed her hanging around with someone else a lot more often? Perhaps she may have found another friend she preferred to stick with. Although it is quite inconsiderate and selfish of her to push you aside totally. And if it's that obvious to you and her that she's spending less time with you, the least she could do is let you know what's up.

Despite the depressing college stories I've heard from here and around everywhere else, there's always some bit of it that's good. At least. Even if it's for awhile, you can take that bit of memory with you just to be glad that at least it wasn't so bad. I really hope college life will at least be tolerable for you, if not better

Well I believe that things happen for a reason. People come into my life for a reason. And they leave me for a reason. Whether the reasons are good or bad, most time I think it's for my best.

Right, this is quite common. But I really have got no comments on this one lol..

Sometimes I dislike people too. But I don't hate them really. It takes too much of me inside to come up with hatred..too draining for me. I just try to concentrate on what's good most times.

I don't think anyone should be sorry for ranting
I mean if it helps to make you feel better, then that's good.

Well regarding friends and when others stop reaching out, it has happened quite a lot to me too. And then I just leave them be. Used to bother me but I've let that go. It depresses me too much to keep asking why and figuring out why. I guess that's just how people are and I'll accept it as that. Seldom we can find one who's truly a good friend, though I'm always ready to be one to someone. *shrugs*

Lmao look at what I did to your post disecting it
I guess I'm in this mood right now lol

Basically if you walk away from others when they may need you most. Even if it is them that stops calling. If you exerience the same and actually need people. Don't expect anyone to be there. Because they will just write you off too. It's just the golden rule. What goes around comes around.

Well from my experience, when I disconnect with people it's because I am going into free fall. Which generally means I need people more then ever. It could be many things, which you will never know unless you ask. Maybe they are just to busy, or maybe they don't feel worth your friendship.

Getting revenge on others by saying to just move on and abandon them can be a form of revenge on others. Only with how the world works, it's really revenge on ones self. I think we should all have the golden rule tattooed on our forheads at birth.

Thats a really disgusting anology.
Besides that I dont think your boring, whenever im feeling down or am bored I just go to the hug section and you keep me entertained.

Hi cklove,

First: I'm sorry this has happened; it's certainly painful when distance/absence develops in what was once a friendship.

Have you tried emailing/phoning your friend with a neutral sounding message, aka,

"haven't heard from you in a while and hope all's well. Would like to catch up."

Sometimes people are just going through a lot and feel like they can't deal with other aspects of their life, even though they still care.

And, yes, sometimes friendships just fall apart for seemingly no reason.

Take care

thankyou for the kind words mink, what you say is really true

darned reality

*sigh*