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Full Version: NEW LONELY GUY -- HELLO ALL!
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I thought I would join this forum, as it does seem to apply to me. I look like a perfectly normal, well adjusted 46-year old guy. I am fairly intelligent, creative and articulate. But I do not have -- and never did have -- a single "friend" in the world. I simply don't feel like I can mentally relate to other people in that way, and I am uncomfortable in groups. I had a great childhood (no abuse, etc), and I do have a good, supportive family. (In that way, I am lucky.) But socially, I have NOTHING -- completely alone.

I have never been married and have no kids. Even though I am physically decent looking, women simply are NOT attracted to me (it must be something in my personality). Even the desperate, overweight, physically unattractive women are not drawn to me and have NO interest in me. I will never understand why because I am sweet, friendly, sensitive and sincere -- but they all see NOTHING in me. And I know this from many years of experience.

When I observe other people's "friendships", it all looks forced, fake and conditional to me. I was never able to play that game -- and I believe it is all a game. There were times when, by way of some activity, I was part of a group.. and I was pretty uncomfortable. In time, groups always turn on me.. the most aggressive members start poking fun at me.. I am always seen as a fun target to pick on -- a weak link. Group members always sense this and "attack".

I don't hate people. There are a few INDIVIDUALS in this world that I like and respect. I dislike GROUPS, because groups CHANGE people. At this point in my life, I doubt that I'll ever have a person that I can call a "friend" -- I highly doubt it. But I still have hopes of someday finding a woman to spend my life with. I hope to find an exception -- just one odd, one-in-a-million woman who genuinely accepts me and loves me for who I am. I really hope she's out there, because this has been a long, lonely journey.

EveWasFramed

(12-11-2010, 11:10 AM)JoeSmith Wrote: [ -> ]Even the desperate, overweight, physically unattractive women are not drawn to me and have NO interest in me. I will never understand why ...


(12-11-2010, 11:10 AM)JoeSmith Wrote: [ -> ]...women simply are NOT attracted to me (it must be something in my personality). I will never understand why ...

Understand now? Damn.


Callie

Um...hi.

I'm with Eve on this one. If you were REALLY sincere and friendly and sensitive, you would not have said the words you said in that introduction.
Also wanna add that it does NOT MATTER what people look like on the outside. Whether they are too skinny or are overweight, a person is STILL a person and they STILL have feelings.

EveWasFramed

OK....now that Im not still flabbergasted by your careless choice of words, welcome to the forum, but PLEASE make a point to try and temper your words, OK?
You're all proving my point -- women dislike me. They all do, no matter what I do or say. I'm sitting here alone, pouring my heart out to a "Lonely Forum", and you are hammering me into the ground. Its OK -- I'll be the scapegoat for all the arrogant guys that have hurt you. (Even though I don't even DATE, and have not had physical intimacy in YEARS ). Go ahead and hurt me more. I'm an easy target.
Hey, Miss "super moderator", would you PLEASE delete my profile from this cold, insensitive site? I have no need to be in a harsh, insulting place like this. You don't CARE about lonely people. Its all about YOU -- that is clear from you getting all ticked off about my post, which had nothing to do with YOU.

Callie

Dude....better choices of words is all we're saying. Never said we didn't like you. Can't very well say that cuz we don't know you, can we?
Just pick your words better. You can't expect people in real life to like you if when you introduce yourself you insult the people you are talking.

EveWasFramed

Actually, I wasnt angry...I just felt sorry for you. Instead of pointing your finger at US, you should likely do some self-reflecting and ask yourself WHY it is that you seem to get these kinds of reactions/repsonses. And here's a little bit of info for you...
Im not a bitter woman - far from it. I don't hold the actions of a few men against them all. There are some wonderful men in this world, and I've met quite a few of them. There are some awesome men on this site too.
We didn't prove your point - YOU did. And you can't fault anyone here who takes offense at your poor choice of words. Is has NOTHING to do with ME, but more to do with you being insensitive and hurting someone elses feelings on this forum, which is why I asked you to temper your words. Look back at your words, "Even the desperate, overweight, physically unattractive women..." and then ask who is "cold and insensitive."
As for your account - if you really want it deleted, then the standard procedure is to PM a moderator and request it.
I think I know how you feel. I'm 29 but sometimes I feel like I'm headed in the direction you've described. It's like you're clueless about what you're doing wrong when it comes to people. You get positive impressions right and left but something just isn't right... ever.
I'm in a process of trying to become better friends with someone I've been on friendly terms with since I met her, and the whole thing just seems screwed up for reasons I simply can't put a finger on. It's like we're trying to force a friendship, which is absolutely weird. Why would we need to even do that? Maybe it's in my head. Gah, I suck with people.

Callie

(12-11-2010, 11:30 AM)JoeSmith Wrote: [ -> ]You're all proving my point -- women dislike me. They all do, no matter what I do or say. I'm sitting here alone, pouring my heart out to a "Lonely Forum", and you are hammering me into the ground. Its OK -- I'll be the scapegoat for all the arrogant guys that have hurt you. (Even though I don't even DATE, and have not had physical intimacy in YEARS ). Go ahead and hurt me more. I'm an easy target.
Hey, Miss "super moderator", would you PLEASE delete my profile from this cold, insensitive site? I have no need to be in a harsh, insulting place like this. You don't CARE about lonely people. Its all about YOU -- that is clear from you getting all ticked off about my post, which had nothing to do with YOU.

Ya know, when I first came here, I was sitting here ALONE with my two kids not being able to pay my bills because my husband left me last year. That said, I did NOT come in here insulting people just because I felt I was entitled to do that. I do NOT blame other guys because of what my husband did, nor do I blame other guys for what any other guy has done to me. YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE! I have never ONCE used another person as a scapegoat. My faults and what was done to me lies with ME, I do NOT take it out on others.
And don't bother to play the hurt card, you have NO idea what the other members of this forum have been through and so what, you've never had friends. You said yourself that you had a GOOD FAMILY AND A GREAT CHILDHOOD. I would give a lot of things to have had that. Don't blame other people on why you don't have friends, the problem right there, most likely lies with YOU, not other people. Look to YOURSELF before you insult people.

As for everyone here being cold and insensitive, you are VERY wrong about that. Everyone here welcomed me kindly and have talked to me and befriended me, a complete stranger. By the way, never tell me what I do and do not care about, cuz you have NO CLUE who I am or what/who I care about. And one more thing. Nothing is EVER about me, I live my life putting MYSELF LAST because I care about other people more than I care about myself.

So in conclusion, watch your words!!!!! If you do that, people won't be forced to take offense at what you say and we won't have to get "ticked off"

Perhaps you should RE-introduce yourself with better chosen words. Big Grin
hey joesmith Big Grin
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