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Please don't think I'm a bad person, I'm just a fuck up. Well lets start, I've always been a shy person an introvert you see. Shortly after 3rd grade I was taken out of public school and was suppose to be home-schooled, and I would do all my socializing on a school bus which my mother drove. But eventually the bus became over crowded, and I was forced to stop. I lost all my so-called friends after that.

And I would spend the next 6 years alone. For a while there I spent most of my time in my room and I was completely nocturnal. I began talking to myself after a while, and when I turned 18yo I set out to change all that. I set up a myspace and looked up a girl I knew of from drivers-ed where I never made a friend in the first place, but it was my last time in contact with people. She accepted, and we messaged back and forth but it never worked out.

Then my cousin came into the picture, he had a similar experience with being locked off from the world. Only he had the courage to attempt high-school. Being an extrovert he made friends to which one day I was introduced. One girl stood out to me, Liz, she was very lively. My cousin would talk to her every night over the phone, and one night he three wayed it, and she learned that I didn't have any friends, so she sent me a friend request I was reluctant and she insisted I accept. I felt odd about are age difference, I was 19, she only 15. But she kept telling me she was the best friend you could ever have and I just gave in,

She could have been more right. Because later on I met her older sister Kate, whom I became friends with as well and I had a thing for her. we knew each other for about three years. Back in October her sis and I really started hanging out and partying. I was practically living at there house getting drunk, watching all sorts of movies and tv shows not to mention x-box. Then one night we went to a party and I got stupid drunk. And I grabbed her butt and tried to kiss her. needless to say I was kicked out.

But the repercussions of that night were far reaching, all the friends I thought I made won't speak to me, nor will the sis. The only one who stayed is Liz, she's stood by my side through other fuck ups, and has defended me. This one though is by far the worst, she told me I was lucky to have her, which i don't doubt. But her family is against are friendship, particularity her mother, who never liked me. Because I'm a rapist now we can't hang out, even though Kate is okay with it. It's been almost 2 months since it happed, and I just can't get over it. I mean Kate trusted me a lot, I'm just not that kind of guy who does that.

The last thing I want right now is to lose miss Liz, I love that girl with all my heart. Being an introvert makes people think I'm a creep even in my own family. My family has gone as far as tell my cousin not to talk to me. All because I don't say much, It's not like I don't try either, but I run out of things to say quickly. Its not until later on that I think of something I could have said. I constantly feel like I'm from a different planet. It makes me want to scream, its like what does the world want from me, I'm human too! Why do you feel the need to isolate me? I hate myself so much at times because for once I was happy and content, I had what I begged god for all those years. And what do I do I fuck up.

Its late now in my part of the world, and so much still that I want to say. But I'm scared that I might lose Liz, I even wrote her an email telling her all the things I wanted her to know.[/font]
Well, I don't think you're a bad person, you just made a mistake. It's normal to make mistakes, we're human afterall.

If they're true friends, then they should be able to forgive you. I can also understand it being hard for you to socialize and converse with other people, after being 'locked away' for so many years. I can't understand how you're family doesn't see this, it's them afterall who forced you to be home schooled.

I think you just have to accept that socializing isn't that easy at first, but practice does make perfect. Keep trying to talk to people, after a while you'll find it much easier to think of suitable conversation topics. Good luck! Smile
Like Peter said, you made a mistake.

What bothers me about your story is that you refer to yourself as a rapist. All you said you did was grab her butt and tried to kiss her. A lot of guys have done that when drunk even to girls they don't know, doesn't make you a rapist. It is disturbing that people want to label you that way. I had a friend who had a huge crush on me for years, she knew I only viewed her as a good friend and that was it. She kept pushing and actually kissed me in front of our friends at a party. I was pissed seeing as I told her exactly how I felt towards her. She wasn't drunk, but I wouldn't class that as rape. People use that term too loosely.

Liz is right, you are lucky to have her as a friend, people like that are hard to come by these days. She really is a good friend. Don't give up though, maybe people will come around down the line. You're not the first guy to make a pass at a friend while drunk at a party.
Well, everyone makes mistakes, especially while drunk. I'm just really sorry that you're being punished for yours. I hope that eventually they'll be able to forgive you - I mean, it's alcohol, people make mistakes while under the influence. If they say they've never done something stupid while drunk, they're probably lying.

The parents, yours and hers, should also be more supportive. Sigh... I'm really frustrated on your behalf.

How about your cousin? Have you talked to him about it? How does he feel and can he help patch things up?
Me and my cousin are joined the hip, we talk everyday. No, there isn't anything he can do, Liz tried to have me over day and even though Kate was okay with it their mom still said no. So instead we hung at the park for a little bit, she wasn't feeling well that day and Kate wasn't going to take her home. So I drove her, even though she's not to be alone with me, I guess her mom found out, and now we can't hang out anymore. Which upset me, are friendship is already on thin ice and I thought I was going to lose her. So I wrote her an email telling her how I felt, and she replied with I love you.

And now I'm on here venting, because it's not fair to her that I keep dumping it on her when she has her own problems. Yesterday I texted her asking how she was doing, I feel good about how it went, it was like there wasn't any dark cloud hanging over. She wants to get a job at the beach so she can move in with her sis who is moving down soon, keeping my fingers crossed and I can go down and visit.
From what you're saying it sounds like your friends have forgiven you but the parents are making things difficult? It seems to me like the situation can only get better from here! And don't worry about dumping it on her, because you can come here and dump it on us instead <smirk>. I hope everything works out.
Liz sounds like a great friend but do use caution. She may end up being pulled by both sides...her friendship with you and what she feels she should do to please her parents. You did not do anything terrible to the sister, you just made a drunk flub...that happens to the best of us.

I guess I say use caution all the way around, even with Kate, even though Kate seems fine with you now. I am unsure why Kate would report to her parents an innocent drunk gesture by you.
Wow those people are a bunch of douches. I bet if you were a bit more extroverted those people would have had a different tune.

So when it comes to messing up, are you learning? That is the big thing if you do your best to not make a mistake unknowingly people do not frown on that all that much. However, if you just make the same mistake over and over again... well.. you are not that great of a person.

I think you need to become more independent. I think you need to stop relying on her so much. I think you need to build some social skills on your own and make your own friends.

The other road you can take is to just flat out abandon that life. Keep this Liz as your pen pal. Move away where you can just be alone and live the life you want.

The choice is yours really.

SophiaGrace

All the responses so far hve been from males and from the male perspective.


Taking note of this.
SophiaGrace, that isn't correct. I am a female.
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