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Full Version: I feel like I 'flirted' with another female..
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I'm a lurker. This account says I spent less than an hour online, but I constantly visit these forums. Today..I feel really shitty for what I did, and I'm hoping you guys can help me clear my mind.


I work for the (something) in (something else). What we do is manage the (rhymes with 'Fred'!) section (take inventory, take care of expired, etc). Last week, the cafeteria needed some extra hotdog buns, and since there wasn't any in the storage for them, they had to get some from the floor (the term "floor" is like, having the bread on display on the racks).

Well, any way. They sent this cute girl to get some hotdog buns. Our little conversation started when I told her that we almost ran out, and she took the last few bags of hotdog buns. I asked her what she does as an employee of Costco (as I usually do with everyone else in the store, since I'm pretty much socially awkward, but trying to be more talkative). She told me her hours, what area she works in, etc. Then she asked what I do. We talked a little more but she was in a hurry to get back to the cafeteria. I don't remember the whole conversation, but I remember her telling me to apply for Costco, out of no where. She tried convincing me, I said I'd think about it, she smiled at me (which was really cute btw), I smiled back, said our goodbyes, then she left.

She seems like a shy person, too. I found it pretty odd, but I don't know. Maybe I took it the wrong way?

The second time I saw her was when I was almost done my break. I was just refilling my cup when I spotted her cleaning the cafeteria. The first thing I said to her was "Having fun?" (normally when I start a conversation with the employees in Costco, I start with "What time do you end?", "You tired?" or something stupid along those lines). We start talking for a bit, then eventually I mentioned that I was moving to a different Costco store since it was closer to my house. She responded with "Aww, that means I won't be able to see you again." I took it as sarcasm and I made it seem like I didn't hear her. Then I started to tell her that it'll be a lot easier to get to work if I move, etc etc. I left and made it seem like I was in a hurry.

The third time was today. I saw her cleaning the cafeteria again when I was with a co-worker on break. I went up to her and said "Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile." She responded with "Well, I only work weekends." We started to talk again, and she kept smiling, constantly (The green braces made it extra cute). She asked how I get to work, and asked if I had a car. I responded with "Hah, I don't even have my G1. My mommy drives me to work (with a smirk, but hell, it's true)."
She told me it's alright, since she recently got her's for only ID purposes. After that, I was kind of surprised since I expected her to have a car, a "G" license, since you know, everyone at my age already has that. I asked her age because at first, I thought she was in her 20's, then like, in her teens since she didn't even have a car or her G license, and to tell you the truth, I just wanted to know.

She's my age (20), and I felt a little.. I don't know how to explain it.. good?

After more chatter, I asked her why doesn't she have a name tag. (This was my way of asking for her name, and to be honest again, I wanted to know her name). After, she asked for mine. I gave it to her. I was about to leave again, but then I asked for her name again (because I'm terrible with names, and it's true because I forgot her full name, but I remember the 'nick' name she told me to call her by). She gave me a really cute smile again before giving me her name.

When I left the store... I felt like I cheated on my current girlfriend..
We're in a serious relationship.. and we promised each other we're getting married later on..

This stuff never happens to me. The way my current girlfriend and I met was through family/close friends, etc, and a good portion of our relationship was talking on MSN, etc. (Not going to get into both of our life story/situation, because I feel like I've been typing too much stupid shit already).

Is it wrong for me to have that feeling of going back to this person and getting to know her more? I feel like I cheated.. I don't know.. It felt wrong. I'm not sure if I just have too much of an 'innocent' mind, since people tell me that, like, every fucking time.

I need your input.. was this wrong? Am I just overreacting?

(Please tell me it's the latter.)


(EDIT SINCE I THOUGHT TWICE OF WHAT TRENT POSTED)
If you had sex with this girl, you cheated. If not, you're human, and probably overreacting.

People are social creatures. People flirt.
I dont think you are overreacting. It sounds as though you and this girl really like each other and the fact you are concerned enough to post here about it implies that you are aware that something may develop from it. It's probably time for you to think seriously about your present girlfriend-do you really want to stay with her? If so, then it would be best for you to avoid this other girl. If, however, your feelings for this new girl are becoming too strong to ignore, you could finish with your girlfriend and then ask this girl out.
(07-01-2012, 03:02 PM)Inexperienced Wrote: [ -> ]She's my age (20)...When I left the store... I felt like I cheated on my current girlfriend. We're in a serious relationship.. and we promised each other we're getting married later on.

Please don’t take this as offence but at that age you should be flirting with other people. Committing yourself to one person at that age is risky, I’m not telling you to run rampant with lots of people but from my own experience I was still trying to work out who I was at 20 let alone dedicate that persona into a committed relationship with someone else. You’re young, relax, explore and commit when you feel certain.

Second, people flirt, its human nature and can’t be avoided. You would be surprised by how much heterosexual men subconsciously flirt with each other let alone women. The thing is that flirting is all relative and doesn’t always have to be of a sexual tone. I could compliment someone because I really admire their attitude and that someone could see it as me hitting on them even though that wasn’t my intention. You could be making light conversation with this girl and she sees it as nothing more than a new friendship while you feel a tad guilty of your thoughts.

Like Tiina63 said, the fact that you’re posting about this girl indicates that you may be developing feelings for her. Nothing wrong with that, nothing at all but it sounds like your emotions are conflicting and you need to think hard about continuing with your current girlfriend or taking things further with this other girl. You’re not overreacting, you haven’t made any mistakes, this is just life I’m afraid.

Trent

if you feel bad, it's for a reason.

also, there is a fine line between genuinely innocent flirting,

and real interest.

you know the difference,

but you are not sure how that makes you feel.

uh-oh.

that's age and hormones.

also, you should think twice before naming the exact company you work for and the department you work in on the forums here.
That's where you have to make a decision. You aren't engaged or married yet, so you can decide. Are you saying that things might be a little old or boring with your current? I know you didn't say that, but is that possible? Anytime we lose interest in our current, we see other potential people as better. Well remember this.. it's always fireworks and happy weird feelings at first.. and then eventually it's the same with just about anyone, it will get kind of boring at times or you get used to each other.

But like I said, you are a free man considering you aren't tied down really. To me, honestly it does sorta sound like there might be something you "feel" since you are questioning yourself. As for her smiling and whatnot, it could be because she's shy or could be flirting. You didn't "cheat" though.. cheating is mostly physical action..and I suppose developing strong feelings for someone CAN lead to actual cheating. So if you are afraid to possibly cheat and you are happy with your g/f, you might want to keep your distance or think of it as just friends. Cause friends do just kid around and whatnot..it's all about what your true intentions are.

Stars

I just want to correct a few posters here: CHEATING DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PHYSICAL. YOU CAN STILL CHEAT EMOTIONALLY.

There is a big difference between harmless flirting and REAL INTEREST.

I don't know about you...but if I flirt and it's not genuine/ harmless, I don't even think about it.

If you have the whole butterflies in stomach feeling, excited to see her, want to spend alone time with her - you're interested and developing feelings.

And again, people can still emotionally cheat.

You might want to ask yourself if you'd give a damn or be heartbroken if this chick were to suddenly leave your life; or if you're really ready to settle down at such a young age with your current.

From what I've seen, many people can't handle committing to one person until they're left with no options at an old age or are undesirable.
Old enough to know better, I guess. People mature at different age...I guess.
@ 15 i knew the differents between interacting with other girls (other people in general)
and having feelings for other girls than my GF. I had classes with plenty of other girls
and had to work on assignments with them...ect. There's certain lines I didnt crossed.
Its not rocket science......

I knew how to make a commitment to somethings or someone even at that youn of an age.

I guess I was more mature @ 15 then you are now at 20.
No need to compair yourself to me or anyone else.

Idk...That's why Im picky when it comes to women?
Thats why I go for the hot pretty , sweet ones.The cream of the crop chicks.
Lucky me...my first GF was a totally hottie and super duper sweet.
Sweet loving like her are what other dudes can only dream about....
She knew how to commit herself to us. She vaule herself and or relationship.
It works for me. When i have the best...i dont need the rest.
That would be my mentality and the blue print of how I handle relationships
abd the women I pick to get involve with.

There's shit loads of pretty girls out there...
There's shit loads of everything in life...Just becuase it's there dosnt always
mean I gotta deal with it.....

Dude...you're like obsessing over this chick you barely just met.
I guess she turns you on more than you're current GF.

Wieght it out and give it sometime dude.....
Try hitting on other chicks that's prettier than this one you just met.
Might was will go for broke and stop fucking around.
If you're not going to settle then dont settle.
Thank you for you input, guys.

I think I'll just stay away from this girl from now on. I'm only working there for 1 more week until I move, so it shouldn't be a problem.
I was a little confused since this stuff never, ever happens to me. (of course, with my current it did)

It's best if I just assume I'm overreacting.
(07-02-2012, 07:12 AM)Inexperienced Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you for you input, guys.

It's best if I just assume I'm overreacting.

I guess...in so many ways.
We all make mistakes or like to play with fire.lol
I guess...its the samething as what your saying.

Forgive yourself and move on.
Learn the lesson but not carry the guilt.....

You know what is right for you...you're gut will always tell you.
It has more to do about living in your own skin...
How you value yourself..Your integrety with yourself.


The thing of it is...My Gf was also mature for her age too.
Of course she loved me and cares for me....ect
She turns me on in everyway. I turn her on too.
She wasnt dumb for her age.
She fullfiled my sexual desires even though we didnt have entercorse becuase we deem we were
to young to have sex. We hug , kissed and made out a lot. We also had a lot of emotional bonding.
She did a lot of stuff for me as if she was my wife...just younger ( not cooking or cleaning)...little
things that made a big difference. Its a 2 way street and she knew that. I'd do whatever she wanted
and what she likes, for her. So...why in the hell would i wanna got somewhere else if i had that already?
The love, sex and friendship. We had an intimatecy relationship on all level. A commitment....just younger.
The only reason why we sapreated was becuase her family moved. Our relationship didnt failed.
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