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ok, today I had a scary experience: actually, I take back the ":", this tale needs a little preface. I had a number of seriously damaging relationships with really screwed up guys, some with actual mental illnesses, others just emotionally damaged and on the sadistic side. I stopped hanging out with that kind of people years ago, and still I don't seem to attract anyone a bit saner. In the last couple years I am being extremely careful with those who seem interested in me, and in spite of keeping distance I still saw a lot of psychopathic behavior, like standing me up and yelling at me for 20 minutes because I wouldn't accept it as normal, or getting up in the middle of a movie date with the sentence: "we are too different" and leaving, or offering some major professional work in exchange of a date (I didn't fall for that), or, OK, I will stop now, but there could be more stories. I can seriously say that for normal guys's eyes I am like Teflon, their gaze just slides over me, I don't exist. Today I met this adorable, much younger unfortunately, cute smart funny soulful guy, who lit up when he saw me and spent hours trying to talk to me and to me only, immediate sympathy. I have a knack for getting into intimate conversation pretty fast with some people, and he turns out to have suicidal depression, and other problems too which he didn't seem to have overcome at all. I am not one to judge, god knows I have issues too, and I would be happy to be friends with him, but what I am asking is WHY all the guys who seem interested MUST have some kind of serious derangement? what attracts them to me? what can I do to attract stable, solid, reliable people? I am not a therapist, I cannot do much for the screwups, god knows I tried in the past, it just doesn't work that way, one needs to be a tiny bit self reliant to be in a relationship. I myself am pretty reliable, affectionate, the few non romantic relationships that I managed to have since primary school I kept until today, my mood swings I keep to myself and in general, when the loneliness doesn't drive me temporarily crazy, I am pretty stable, and I don't understand why that kind of guys only must find a soulmate in me. I can honestly say that I have never seen from a close distance a mentally normal guy with a decent sense of humor, some smarts and average looking (actually, I see many all the time, but they are all taken and I am not the mistress type). This really depresses me, sorry for the rant, I am beginning to accept my fate that in this life I won't have the love of a remotely sane person, I wish I could like women physically, but probably I would attract the screwups also from that side (wait, now that you make me think of that, I did!). I am actually getting training to become a sort of therapist, to follow this destiny, so I won't have relationships with all these crazy or damaging guys but at least I can point them out the best therapy tools for their case, but that leaves me pretty much alone, as usual.
My suspicion is that you lend a sympathetic ear right away: you said you have a knack for getting into intimate conversation right away - a "normal" person probably wouldn't think much of that, but someone who has issues may really want to talk to someone about them. This, I think, is one of those reasons why conversations are kept so superficial when you first meet someone.

You don't mention if you are making first contact with these guys or they approach you - but if it is the latter, that would be pretty weird; if it is the former, that would probably make the problem mentioned above even worse.
no, they always approach me, this is why it is so weird, it feels like they recognize me in a room full of people, and usually upon the first meeting I like them too but since years I recognize that I have bad taste and I wait to know them before liking them too much. Once I liked just the picture of a guy, and he also turned up to be of the very harmful player kind, so the curse works even with almost zero information, all those whom I feel attraction to are sick, and those very few who like me are as well.
In general I have learned to keep the conversation light more or less, this time I happened to mention something that I read about depression, because of some work-related topic, so that was pretty casual too. And he seemed to like me at first sight, that happened with the others too except for the online dating, for obvious reasons.
Btw, I don't mind at all lending a sympathetic ear for reasonable amounts of time, I just don't understand why only guys overwhelmed with problems seem to like me and the others totally don't.
OK, I take everything back, this guy is probably really adorable and a good person, unlike most of the other ones, like the one who would run after me at business meetings yelling that I didn't care for him after HE dumped me (after that for sure I cared less), he was also a really good guy with some major family issues, but I am just tired of this kind of stories, it would be nice to see a balanced person for a change. I feel bad for yesterday's guy: guy, if you are reading, I like you let's just be friends until you are saner.