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Sad
yes, there are quite different degrees in faultiness, sorry about your terrible experience. I also grew up under very dark influences, but no physical violence. I hope that you can cry now, Lusker, I d cry with you (((( ))))
(03-08-2013, 10:31 PM)lusker Wrote: [ -> ]My mother is a Romani witch who would fly into mad rages over nothing, and lift me off the floor by my hair and shake me like a radoll until my hair tore out and I fell back down and could go hide. She once pulled out a chunk of hair and skin so big I couldn't hide it, and when I went to school I wore the hood of my plastic spray jacket over my head all day. My teacher told me to take my hood off but I wouldn't, so I was sent me to the Principal who caned me across the back of my hands for disobedience and then pulled my hood down. When he saw what I'd been hiding, he actually cried. He reported my mother to the Department of Education, and they sent a nurse and counsellor over to our house tha afternoon. After they left, my father pulled all of the cord out of the vacuum cleaner, looped it up, and beat me across my back and legs until I couldn't stand up anymore. Funny thing was, the caning I got across the back of my hands hurt more than anything else. I went to an experimental school. The thing I learned that day was that sometimes it's the unexpected things that hurt the most, and that any among of physical pain can be withstood. I also remember it, because it was the last time I cried. I was nine. Sorry if this post went too long. I've never told anyone that before.

Oh lusker *HUGS*

It pained my heart just imagining the things you're describing here on your childhood. How could any parent have the heart to physically hurt their own child is beyond my understanding. I am so proud of you though, you're standing strong despite such a painful past. It probably hasn't been easy on you all these years even trying to work all that out. Goodness. I wish people would not get pregnant or would not attempt to raise children if they do not have the patience or do not want the kid. There are so many other good couples out there who are wanting and waiting to be parents.. give them the children, rather than be abusive towards the kids. Sad

(03-09-2013, 12:21 AM)Peaches Wrote: [ -> ]Sad
yes, there are quite different degrees in faultiness, sorry about your terrible experience. I also grew up under very dark influences, but no physical violence. I hope that you can cry now, Lusker, I d cry with you (((( ))))

*hugs* Peaches - I'm sorry to hear about your past. Aww.. *hugs*
Smile a hug fest, great Smile *hugs*


we all go ahead with what we have, and the god's given gifts of resilience, stubbornness and other survival qualities that got us through, and hopefully left a little flickering flame of love in the middle of the ruins (OK, this is just a metaphor, I hope you all have a luxuriant garden in that place)


It's good when you reach the point that you can look at some emotions inside you the same way you look at a white old scar, when you see it but for your life you can't remember the pain anymore, or even how it happened.
(03-09-2013, 10:38 AM)Peaches Wrote: [ -> ]It's good when you reach the point that you can look at some emotions inside you the same way you look at a white old scar, when you see it but for your life you can't remember the pain anymore, or even how it happened.

Yeah. You're right. It is good. Means you've learnt to let go and move on.
I'll try to avoid this thread otherwise I will monopolise it. Sorry if I upset anyone, that example is not one of the bad ones. I like the idea that I can look at the scars (there are more than a few) and eventually forget how I got them. I suspect that will only happen when both my parents are dead. I have an '83 Grange Hermitage put aside for the day. Until then, I refuse to forget. If I put it out of my mind I'd be putting on another face, and I already have enough of those.
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