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Earlier today i had a discussion with my mom and younger bro. We were discussing our childhood problems with her. There was a huge communication gap between our parents and us (Although my mom has become quite friendly over time but we are still distant from our dad). My mom was very strict and authoritative back then. The things which she considered potentially harmful for us, she just told us to avoid them, without explaining us why she wants us to be away from them. For example she was scared of me being abused by men so she just told me not to go up to any man alone. She didn't even tell me what harm they could cause to me (i learned it myself when i grew up). My point was that she should have told me the ways to protect myself instead. I am a grown up girl now but still find it difficult to go in to the offices alone or walk past a group of boys (even 2,3 boys). I fake confidence. There are many other problems which were not part of me if my parents knew how to communicate well.
My mother's ceaseless worrying and nagging caused me to grow up paranoid and self-defeating, so I hear you on that.

It's part of why I want to volunteer with kids in the future when I'm more stable myself. I can't prevent parents from being fucktards, but I can at least help the children salvage themselves and start learning things like self-esteem, communication, motivation, etc, early.
My mom has been very overprotective. She didnt let us do a lot of things that our peers normally did. For example she didnt let me bike because she was afraid that i would fall down and get hurt.
Yeah you are right these things should be taught at an early age.

SophiaGrace

males are more often victims of violence than women.
(02-20-2013, 06:32 AM)SophiaGrace Wrote: [ -> ]males are more often victims of violence than women.

I wont get into anything from personal experience but I agree. Freedom can get to a Lady of the 21st Century. Men didn't go from having a lack of freedom to the freedoms of today. So Men aren't especially violent these days, if that makes sense.

I'd say my Parent's are 'Faulty' I've never been close to my Dad. I did used to visit him every weekend though, years ago (As my Mum & Dad are divorced and have been since I was 3). Now I've not seen him in about 3 years. It doesn't bother me though. As for my Mum, we've always had a rocky relationship. She has had her fair share of problems in the past. They've only made me stronger though. I could have gone down that route of self destruction but that's not me.

SophiaGrace

(02-22-2013, 06:42 AM)Gutted Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-20-2013, 06:32 AM)SophiaGrace Wrote: [ -> ]males are more often victims of violence than women.

I wont get into anything from personal experience but I agree. Freedom can get to a Lady of the 21st Century. Men didn't go from having a lack of freedom to the freedoms of today. So Men aren't especially violent these days, if that makes sense.

I'm not saying that men aren't violent but that statistically the violence they perpetrate is most often upon men, not women, contrary to society's fears.
(02-20-2013, 06:06 AM)BrokenInside Wrote: [ -> ]There are many other problems which were not part of me if my parents knew how to communicate well.

While I know firsthand how parents can mess up a child, I'd also like to mention that even though a person's parents may dump a load of emotional and/or mental baggage on their child, at some point the child has to accept that it's THEIR problem now. I think once a person realizes that THEY own that baggage now, that it's more readily dealt with. It does no good to dwell on who is to blame. Energy is better spent dealing with the issues and healing.
If that makes ANY sense to anyone, lol. :p
Growing up in my house was like living with the Cleavers.

lololol

I credit my dad with not sodomizing me and my mom with not putting me in a microwave. Beyond that, they both basically were about as bad as you can get.
(02-22-2013, 11:53 AM)EveWasFramed Wrote: [ -> ]While I know firsthand how parents can mess up a child, I'd also like to mention that even though a person's parents may dump a load of emotional and/or mental baggage on their child, at some point the child has to accept that it's THEIR problem now. I think once a person realizes that THEY own that baggage now, that it's more readily dealt with. It does no good to dwell on who is to blame. Energy is better spent dealing with the issues and healing.
If that makes ANY sense to anyone, lol. :p

QFT

perfanoff

Oh boy faulty parenting.. tell me about it. I have no father to speak of and an overly nervous-to-paranoid supermom. Plus others.

Never a dull moment in my house that's for sure.
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