A Lonely Life Forums

Full Version: What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?
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Motivation is becoming a problem lately!
Feeling like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders, making that turn around has given me a freedom I never knew existed.
feeling hopeless, since two weeks I feel much better but this extreme insomnia is not a good sign, and the headache, how do I get a normal life?
Demoralized, lost. Trying not to compare myself to others, but looking at my other friends who have finished or are wrapping up their graduate degrees while I'm here having withdrawn from my own program earlier this year doesn't help. I did get hired last week for a part-time job, so that along with volunteering will keep me busy at least and put a little money in my bank account. Even so, feeling a little down today.
I wish I could see myself the way others see me.
What a ride it's been. Well, time to get back up and trudge on along. Slow and steady....
It's ironic that by the time I find true friendship, I'm too jaded to understand it.

I had someone say they're not friends with me because I'm friendly or funny, but because they like me and my flaws. It's a beautiful thing to say to someone. Maybe it's because I'm so used to being viewed as nothing more than my sympathy, my gender, or my body, but I don't even understand what it means on an emotional level. That's just not how people treat me.

I withdrew from bullying, neglect, and being my mother's emotional outlet into an online world where I was still only the sum of what I could do for others. I didn't matter if I wasn't listening to someone vent or the right gender to date. If picking fights with me made me react and show I cared, then hurting me was fine by their standards. I was still only as good as my ability to fill someone else's void or take a punch.

I don't think treating people as the sum of what they can give whether it's sex, money, or just an ear is the way to treat people, but I struggle not to think of myself in those terms. I struggle to see what anyone sees in me if it's not filling their voids, and trying to understand it just makes me confused and angry. I'd never treat my own friends that way, though, or hinge our friendship on them making me laugh, being a potential mate, listening to me complain, or anything else like that.
Feeling anxious
Somehow lonely, but otherwise ok, I suppose. Or at least as "ok" as I can be in my situation.
(10-16-2015, 08:28 PM)TheRealCallie Wrote: [ -> ]I wish I could see myself the way others see me.

I always give you two thumbs up!
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