A Lonely Life Forums

Full Version: What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625
I'm feeling stressed out and worried, They said my internet bill would be only $70 or so but the bill I got was for $90, WTF????
(06-29-2017, 04:06 PM)TheSkaFish Wrote: [ -> ]
(06-29-2017, 03:26 PM)EveWasFramed Wrote: [ -> ]
(06-29-2017, 10:08 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote: [ -> ]I feel like my parents don't really give a rat's ass about me at times.  If I do well, OK, badly, how I'm feeling or why, my well-being or state of mind.  None of it.  Or how they do things at times just to spite me, which aggravates the living hell out of me.  You want to help me get better, then help.  At the very least don't make it even harder than it already is.  But I just feel like they aren't interested in how I feel.

I wish there was some way I could get through but I feel like any attempt to explain myself would be wasting my breath.  I don't really feel cared about, definitely not unconditionally.

Just out of curiosity, what is it that you think they can do to help? And by get better...what's wrong?

A lot of the stuff I talk about on here, I don't talk about at all at home - things that make me angry, frustrated, worried, uncertain.  

My confidence, self-image, all that, it's like a broken bone, or a yard full of weeds.  It needs time to harden and heal, or, I need time to pull all the weeds, and for healthy grass to grow in and take their place.  I need time to totally uproot the old story and for the new one to settle in.  I've had a lot of false starts, but at least each one seems to be stronger than the last.  But it's hard to maintain when someone or something knocks me back to square 1, I go back to the old story - maybe I just can't get anything right, well enough fast enough, not enough natural aptitude, and so on.  That's been my lifelong struggle - this feeling I've had that it doesn't matter what I do, I'm probably not going to get anywhere because I just don't have enough intelligence or ability or luck to come up with the right answers because if I did, I already would have.  Most of the time, I can easily see all the reasons why I won't get anywhere, but I have a hard time seriously believing that I can succeed in any way.  

I spend a lot of time reflecting on past mistakes and trying to figure out what I should have done instead so I don't keep doing these wrong things over and over because I don't know what else to do.  I wonder why I didn't get it right before like most other people.  I'm trying to learn to be how I should have been.  I think I am learning, but it's taking time.

All of that, I feel, would be very awkward to explain along with all the problems I've had about trying to learn to be attractive and get a girlfriend, and how I wonder if I will ever date anyone at all.  Some days I think I will, other days, I don't know.  Now is not really a good time for that anyway.

There are some other, separate things too.  Mostly, it would help to just give me a little space, to not talk to me or treat me like someone who does bad things on purpose, to not be petty, realize that I am working through some things and that I can't just snap my fingers and be fine.

But...what precisely can your parents do to help you? I apologize if I didn't see the answer in your reply
(06-30-2017, 03:29 PM)EveWasFramed Wrote: [ -> ]
TheSkaFish Wrote:Mostly, it would help to just give me a little space, to not talk to me or treat me like someone who does bad things on purpose, to not be petty, realize that I am working through some things and that I can't just snap my fingers and be fine.

But...what precisely can your parents do to help you? I apologize if I didn't see the answer in your reply

It's more like what they can NOT do to help me.  They can give me space, realize that I am in fact doing something by trying to change the way I see myself and that it's not easy or instant, but it's important to me because I wasn't okay with how I was before.  And not make things harder for me than they already are, just to spite me.  To just be more understanding and less petty.  I would like to feel given a damn about more, to feel like it matters if I'm feeling okay or not instead of feeling like it doesn't.
(07-01-2017, 03:57 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote: [ -> ]
(06-30-2017, 03:29 PM)EveWasFramed Wrote: [ -> ]
TheSkaFish Wrote:Mostly, it would help to just give me a little space, to not talk to me or treat me like someone who does bad things on purpose, to not be petty, realize that I am working through some things and that I can't just snap my fingers and be fine.

But...what precisely can your parents do to help you? I apologize if I didn't see the answer in your reply

It's more like what they can NOT do to help me.  They can give me space, realize that I am in fact doing something by trying to change the way I see myself and that it's not easy or instant, but it's important to me because I wasn't okay with how I was before.  And not make things harder for me than they already are, just to spite me.  To just be more understanding and less petty.  I would like to feel given a damn about more, to feel like it matters if I'm feeling okay or not instead of feeling like it doesn't.

I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.
(07-01-2017, 07:29 AM)VanillaCreme Wrote: [ -> ]I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.

Because I'm a mess.  I'm trying to reverse a lifetime of feeling like I am inherently a loser and not knowing why certain things work the way they do, or how to do things others take for granted and it's not easy. I'm trying to write over it with a new, confident personality but it's not setting very quickly, if at all.  Most days I still don't really believe I can get anywhere and have to fight off those feelings that feel like the truth. But I feel like they don't really care about that, I feel like they feel that I actually could go through life as a loser and that would be fine.  In a way, they're right - I technically could live as a loser in a biological sense - but I feel it would be no life at all.  I feel like if that's what I am, I might as well be a wino, on hard drugs, or dead.  I don't want that to be the case but I'm having a hard time seeing how it could be any other way.
(07-01-2017, 08:06 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote: [ -> ]
(07-01-2017, 07:29 AM)VanillaCreme Wrote: [ -> ]I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.

Because I'm a mess.  I'm trying to reverse a lifetime of feeling like I am inherently a loser and not knowing why certain things work the way they do, or how to do things others take for granted and it's not easy.  But I feel like they don't really care about that, I feel like they feel that I actually could go through life as a loser and that would be fine.  In a way, they're right - I technically could live as a loser in a biological sense - but I feel it would be no life at all.  I feel like if that's what I am, I might as well be a wino, on hard drugs, or dead.  I don't want that to be the case but I'm having a hard time seeing how it could be any other way.

That "might as well as" attitude will drag you down more than you could ever imagine. Believe it or not, I know what it's like, to be past rock bottom, beyond down and out, and not knowing what to do. Fortunately for you, it doesn't sound as though you have a whole family on your shoulders to care for. I did. And I was able to break through. So it's possible. Perhaps you should wipe your slate clean. Help yourself first before you start expecting other people should help you. Push away the negative thoughts of being even worse, because when that's all you think about, that's most likely all that's going to happen.

Paraiyar

(07-01-2017, 08:06 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote: [ -> ]
(07-01-2017, 07:29 AM)VanillaCreme Wrote: [ -> ]I don't mean to be mean or rude, but why are you expecting anything out of them, instead of expecting more from yourself? They're probably under quite a bit of stress. They really shouldn't have to worry about you. The fact they are, in any sense, shows that they're just trying to make it through. I'm sure a lot of us have been there, owing bills and not having enough to cover what we really need. It's not easy. It's not stress free. Instead of asking why can't they help you, why not ask what you can do to help them out? They clearly need it.

Because I'm a mess.  I'm trying to reverse a lifetime of feeling like I am inherently a loser and not knowing why certain things work the way they do, or how to do things others take for granted and it's not easy.  I'm trying to write over it with a new, confident personality but it's not setting very quickly, if at all.  Most days I still don't really believe I can get anywhere and have to fight off those feelings that feel like the truth.  But I feel like they don't really care about that, I feel like they feel that I actually could go through life as a loser and that would be fine.  In a way, they're right - I technically could live as a loser in a biological sense - but I feel it would be no life at all.  I feel like if that's what I am, I might as well be a wino, on hard drugs, or dead.  I don't want that to be the case but I'm having a hard time seeing how it could be any other way.

Here is an idea, why don't you try listening to the advice that almost everyone has given you and get a minimum wage job? It would at least be a change. You can't expect anything to change if you don't change anything you are doing.
"Here is an idea, why don't you try listening to the advice that almost everyone has given you and get a minimum wage job? It would at least be a change. You can't expect anything to change if you don't change anything you are doing. "

Because for some odd reason he won't do it due to the fact he thinks he deserves a six figure income right out of the starting gate.  I've read the same copy/paste posts for three years now - I need to "find" myself, I need to start my life over, I'm not really good at anything, etc.  Dude, perfect case to just get a job and start there to better yourself because you aren't accomplishing a thing stuck between four walls.

Did you ever stop to think the moment you get a job, there will be a lot less arguing and your parents mental and physical stress will lessen?  You sound like the victim but I feel sorry for your parents.  At least you have parents that aren't demanding you leave the house since you aren't contributing.  If they did your situation would really suck ass.  You should be thankful for that as I've read some threads where people were about to be homeless and were scared of what lies ahead.  You are so damn lucky and you take it for granted.

Also, just by getting a minimum wage job did it ever occur to you other stuff will come from it?  Not just income, but through networking you might be able to find a much better job.  We have all done jobs that really sucked, but we did them to survive.

I'm sure being out in the real world will help you "find" yourself much more than where you are now.  Bottom line, you need to start low and slow and build your way to being a better person and having a decent career.

This is almost like a intervention because several people have said what we all have been thinking for quite some time.  In three years, where will you be?  Working, earning an income, making your parent feel good about you or sulking how nothing works for you and still posting the same thoughts on this site?
I just realised that it's July 1st. My least favourite day of the year. It seems appropriate somehow.
I'm feeling like a bit of an idiot. Act in haste, repent at... well... forever.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625