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Full Version: She wants to bring a friend along??
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Seeker

Hi, I am sure that this question has been asked before, but this is the first time that this has happened to me, so I would like to hear your opinions on the matter.

In a couple of hours I'm having my first date with a girl I met the other day. Just a few minutes ago she texts me to ask me if it's ok to bring her best friend (girl) with her. Does this mean that she isn't romantically interested in me and just sees this as a casual night out? I'm sure I made pretty clear to her that it's a date we are going on.

Any insights? Sad
Depends on how you met and how well she knows you, could be safety thing.
Or she's nervous and wants some support.

Just make it a great night for everyone and I'm sure she'd want to see more of you, just the two of you! Big Grin

Edit: Just re-read 'a few days ago' bit, so yeah, probably just so she feels safe getting to know you.

Seeker

(10-23-2013, 02:31 AM)Edward W Wrote: [ -> ]Depends on how you met and how well she knows you, could be safety thing.
Or she's nervous and wants some support.

Just make it a great night for everyone and I'm sure she'd want to see more of you, just the two of you! Big Grin

Edit: Just re-read 'a few days ago' bit, so yeah, probably just so she feels safe getting to know you.

My thoughts exactly, but isn't getting to know each other the purpose of ONE ON ONE dating in the first place? I mean i would understand if she felt scared in an isolated place, but we are meeting on a pretty popular coffee shop Toungue

ForGrantedWife

That's how my marriage started actually. My husband asked me out but I didn't know him at all and was a little scared to go alone the first time until I saw how he behaved towards me. We went to an arena concert with one of my friends and then afterward I told her it was ok to go home. He had been a gentleman, flirty but very much a gentleman. We went for a walk and talked for a couple hours afterward. So I wouldn't worry about it, it could just be she's not sure yet you're an ok guy. As soon as she sees you're safe you should be good with her.

Seeker

(10-23-2013, 02:37 AM)ForGrantedWife Wrote: [ -> ]That's how my marriage started actually. My husband asked me out but I didn't know him at all and was a little scared to go alone the first time until I saw how he behaved towards me. We went to an arena concert with one of my friends and then afterward I told her it was ok to go home. He had been a gentleman, flirty but very much a gentleman. We went for a walk and talked for a couple hours afterward. So I wouldn't worry about it, it could just be she's not sure yet you're an ok guy. As soon as she sees you're safe you should be good with her.

Thank you for answering, ForGrantedWife, I have been reading your comments for quite some time, and I have to say I'm kind of a fan of yours, your solutions to people's problems are always rational Big Grin

Thank you for your advice too, I'll just go along with the date and whatever happens happens i suppose, my only concern is that I will have to be careful to both include her friend in the conversation and keep my main focus on her.

ForGrantedWife

Me rational? Oh I am SO repeating that to my husband lol!
I can see the over-exaggerated eye-rolling commence already in my head :-)

Good luck on your date. Take a single unwrapped (no plastic around it) red rose, leave it in your car under the seat until you drop her off with a damp napkin wrapped around the stem bottom to keep it from wilting. Take that off and then give it to her without any cheesy speeches, just look in her eyes for a minute, smile and then tell her goodnight. Don't try to kiss her goodbye on a first date unless you can tell she's making a move in that direction. When she goes inside she'll put it in water and then smile every time she looks at it or smells it (and she'll also think of who gave it to her). This is the kind of stuff hubbs did to reel me in at the beginning of our relationship. (wish he'd remember some of that nowadays lol)
(10-23-2013, 02:31 AM)Edward W Wrote: [ -> ]Depends on how you met and how well she knows you, could be safety thing.
Or she's nervous and wants some support.

Just make it a great night for everyone and I'm sure she'd want to see more of you, just the two of you! Big Grin

Edit: Just re-read 'a few days ago' bit, so yeah, probably just so she feels safe getting to know you.

I have to agree with this, probably just a safety thing, and if the date doesn't go well (which I'm sure it will) she has an out with her friend along. And if it goes really well *wink wink nudge nudge* she'll either have her friend leave or...have her stay. Big Grin

Rosebolt

Tell us how it went when you're back. Big Grin
I think it is a safety thing as well. I hope it all works out for you.

Seeker

(10-23-2013, 04:23 AM)-Sai- Wrote: [ -> ]Tell us how it went when you're back. Big Grin

Your wish is my command Big Grin

Well, I just came back, but I'm a little confused to be honest. Well, generally it went good, I mean she opened up pretty fast, we were comfortable, the conversation never died, and she even kept most of the focus on the two of us, only occasionally talking to her friend, who was mostly listening.

The problem is, I felt her friend's presence to the extent that i couldn't bring myself to flirt or even tease her, I just felt awkward about that. In the end i kissed her goodnight (on the cheek Toungue), told her I had a great time, to which she replied an obscure "yeah, me too" and left with her friend.

So yeah, I do think that bringing her friend along only served to shield me instead of her, and now I don't even know if I want to see her again, I mean I couldn't get any actual signs that she liked me because her friend was there.

Thinking if I should confront her about that or just not talk to her again.
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