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Hello everyone.

My name is Frostburn. Well, it isn’t my real name naturally, but I rather let my name remain hidden for now. Paranoid that people I know would find me and start to ask questions that I wouldn’t wish to answer.

So why and how I have ended up here? Finding this place wasn’t hard. Googleing ”lonely forum” gave link to this place on first hit. As for why.. Well I perhaps better tell something about myself to make it more understandable.

I am 18 year old male. My interests consist of gaming, philosophy, religion and roleplaying games.Typical nerdy guy. I don’t have any major fallacies in my life. I have parents that are interested in my life, friends to spend time with and my academic career is on right track. What is wrong here then? Total lack of love life.

Some of the older people would be dying to say in this point ”You are still young, you will find someone”. Perhaps it is true, but there is still big part of me that denies it. I don’t have any female friends, never had a girlfriend and never had any real physical contact with a girl. All of my friends have been in a relationship or are currently in one. Yes, I know teen relationships are rarely anything serious and I can agree with that, but it kinda makes me feel inferior around my friends when I am the only one with zero experience of the opposite sex.

This wouldn’t bother me much if would somehow be sure things would change for me when I grow older, but I am afraid of what will happen. I am quiet type of person and I get very highly agitated in any social situation with person I am unfamiliar with. Especially with girls, but that is something you might have already guessed. I fear when I move out from my home to a city where I have no friends I wont be able to build contacts with new people. Last time I had to independedly make new friends was at kindergarten so I am little rusty.. All the friends I have now are from that time or I have gotten to know through my old friends. I fear in time my friends will also forget me when they will have their own lives to worry about and I will be left totally alone. Without friends, without love.

My self-esteem is rather low. I have been overweight since I can remember, so all my life I have felt to be outwardly disgusting. Guess this reflects to my lack of love life directly. Smile Luckily I have been able to reduce my weight somewhat recently. I also sometimes feel I just don’t have any sex appeal. I might be a decent friend, but that I lack anything that would spark deeper feelings in members of opposite sex.

Well anyway just something I wanted to vent out and perhaps make people learn something about me. Hopefully can exchange words with people in here. Smile
What up what up.

Welcome to the joint. I only registered last month myself.

Your feelings are typical- lots of people have had them before you and lots of those folks have overcome them- which you'll eventually do also.

Just a coupla questions: you're 18, so I assume you're going to college next year? It sounds scary, but the sink-or-swim situation just might do it for you- especially freshman year and all that, everybody wants to know other people and so you're kinda forced to meet folks.

And the weight issue. It's good that you're working on it, because that seems to be where most of your self-esteem is lost. Women (and people and general, if you want to make friends) respond to confidence; fix your body image, and you will be on the road to being confident.

Once you lose the weight, get some fresh threads and get out in the field and work some wit. The more you force yourself outside of your comfort zone, the easier it'll be for you when you actually meet a hot chick. It's not gonna happen overnight, but don't feel like the only action you'll ever get a pixelated girl.

Anyways, welcome, like I said.
Hello Frostburn Smile
That is such a cool pic on your post! Look forward to meeting you.
Welcome Frostburn.

Elaeagnus

Hey, Frostburn. You seem to be intelligent, articulate, and nice. Those are all terrific and attractive qualities. Give it some time, and maybe things will work out for you. I know it sounds like a bunch of platitudes, but it's what I'm hoping for myself as well.
Hi Frostburn. It's very nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy being here and you'll meet some really wonderful people. Great to have you with us.
Hi Frostburn, welcome to the forums

Hate to ask, but did you get your name from Diablo 2? I just can't get those frostburn gauntlets out of my head when I see your name. I loved those
Thanks all for the warm welcome. Looking forward to talking with people in here!

zraskolnikov Wrote:Your feelings are typical- lots of people have had them before you and lots of those folks have overcome them- which you'll eventually do also.

Yes I sometimes feel that way too, that this is typical teenage angst that I feel, which will fade away and things will be alright. But I have my darkest moments when I just feel all hope is lost and that I should just accept the cold hard reality that I am not going to live the life I wish I could live. Life filled with happiness and people to care about.

zraskolnikov Wrote:Just a coupla questions: you're 18, so I assume you're going to college next year? It sounds scary, but the sink-or-swim situation just might do it for you- especially freshman year and all that, everybody wants to know other people and so you're kinda forced to meet folks.

Not living in USA so it is slightly different. I am going to graduate next year from high school and then I will have one year or six months military service. From there I will try to get into university where I will study theology.

I have heard they offer atleast some activity for students in universities, but will see. If the activities are not to my liking then I fear my chances of meeting people will get slimmer. (Total drunk parties aren’t to my liking when I wish to meet new friends). Also I find it very difficult to approach people so unless someone comes and pulls from my sleeve, I might find myself being without social contacts.

zraskolnikov Wrote:And the weight issue. It's good that you're working on it, because that seems to be where most of your self-esteem is lost. Women (and people and general, if you want to make friends) respond to confidence; fix your body image, and you will be on the road to being confident.

Once you lose the weight, get some fresh threads and get out in the field and work some wit. The more you force yourself outside of your comfort zone, the easier it'll be for you when you actually meet a hot chick. It's not gonna happen overnight, but don't feel like the only action you'll ever get a pixelated girl.

Yes I am happy for my weight finally starting to be under control, but I have also other qualities that make me feel unconfident about myself. One being my slow mind. I have some difficulty to process information quickly so speaking is little unpleasent for me. I either can’t come up with anything to say, or I say something that I regret second later. Mostly I regret when I managed to blur out something that makes me look like an idiot. But yes, you are very right that nothing will change if I only remain in my comfort zone and be haunted by my own demons. Practice makes perfect in this case too.

I atleast personally don’t have much problem the way I dress. I buy regulary new cloths. While I don’t bother or wish to follow any fashion trends I wear clean cloths when I go spend time with other people. Mainly walking with jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket at this time of the year and don’t feel I look horrible because of the choice of cloths.

Naleena Wrote:That is such a cool pic on your post!

Dragons have always had special place in my heart. Smile

Elaeagnus Wrote:Hey, Frostburn. You seem to be intelligent, articulate, and nice. Those are all terrific and attractive qualities. Give it some time, and maybe things will work out for you. I know it sounds like a bunch of platitudes, but it's what I'm hoping for myself as well.

Hopefully things will work out for both of us. Smile I feel though that my ability to articulate and show intelligence is only a vivid illusion that I manage to create when I have more time to think how I express myself. In real social situation these qualities become less visible when I make myself look like a retard. Why can't real world be like a internet forum or a chat?

Jeremi Wrote:Hate to ask, but did you get your name from Diablo 2? I just can't get those frostburn gauntlets out of my head when I see your name. I loved those

Hehe, actually got the name from Oblivion when I remember word "frostburn" mentioned in one mage guild quests. But I am familiar with Diablo 2 and those gauntlets. Good times, good times.
Hey Frostburn, welcome to the forum.
Hey Frostburn, and welcome.
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