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Hello everyone! My name is Chris, and I'm going to be 18 in a month. I'm from the United States, specifically North Carolina. I'm also a Wiccan. I'm a very nice person who is very open minded. I've recently been through an experience that I think will make me unable to love for some time.

When I was 12 years old I discovered the wonderful world of the internet. Answers to everyday issues, playing games with people from around the world, talking to my friends for free whenever I wanted. One of the first things I found on the internet was a girl, her name was Lauren. We met in a chat room, it was the "Teen Chat" section in Java chat rooms. I believe it got shut down due to pedophiles, now there is only adult chat.

Anyways. We talked on that chat room for a few months, then she got me to get AIM. Then my friends all got AIM, my life was pretty much changed for the better then. I lived only 45 minutes from Lauren (though we never met up), we did try to meet many times. We liked each other by the time we were 13, and I was head over heels in love with her by the time I was 14. We knew everything about each other. I could read her like a book, it was good though. We talked about everything in the world. She also helped me through teenage angst and the hardest stages and puberty, and through my suicidal phase. I think she saved me just from being there.

Then, one day when I was just turning 17, she just stopped logging on. I was going to ask to meet her for my birthday, seeing as how I had gotten my driver's license about 2 weeks before. I was completely devastated after a couple of months, it was like living without my shadow. If I didn't have my close friends, I would have been empty.

Then, about a month ago, she just logged on. I lit up and IMed her with WOW!! What's been up?! Then, what she told me then made me feel the worst I've ever felt in my entire life. She was going to college in Ohio and had to move, and also had a boyfriend. It was unreal to me. This girl I had loved for years... Now completely out of reach.

We talk like we used to, but it doesn't seem the same. I love her, and she understands this (we talk about it) and she wants to help me through it. I have admitted that to move on with my life I have to get over her and accept her as just a friend, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Plus, I live in the middle of no where, so there is no one else around here whatsoever. The only way I can move on is to find someone else to love I think. I hope to find love soon (a guy or a girl), otherwise this black hole in my heart will never fill.

Blessed be! Big Grin

-Chris
hey chris Smile great to see you round here,some things you said in your post sound familiar to me lol speak to you soon hopefully Big Grin
It's nice to see that there is entire website filled with understanding and love like this Big Grin

Leef `c

Hi, Chris. I'm Brandon. I to am going through something similar to this. Refer to my thread in relationships if you want to read up on it.

Anyway, welcome to the forums.
Hey Chris,

welcome to the forums first up.

this is something i definately have a whole lot of experience with, sadly. if you need to talk some time then logon to the chat room. plenty of ppl usually on there.

my advice is don't allow your heart to fool you. you WILL move on and find someone else, and time DOES heal. you have to give it time.

i know right now that you are sat there thinking that this love you feel is special and you can never ever have that again for anyone else. how could you, right, she is perfect. but you will. really.

but try not to dwell on her. i know you will think about her randomly, that's fine, but don't let yourself start thinking oh you might get together. be real, ain't gonna happen. you can't let yourself believe it will or you won't move on. and believe me that will put you in a real bad place where you don't wanna be.

go out there and enjoy your life, in the grand scheme of things your real life is just beginning.

damn i sound kinda cheesy, but to hell with it, it's true. cya around
Hi Chris and welcome here Smile
Hi Chris, nice to have you here ^^

Thanks for sharing your story. So sad, that she is moving away. Good thing that you can still talk to eachother though and still be friends
Welcome Chris
Hey welcome to the forum. Love your black cat avatar.

EveWasFramed

Hi, Chris and welcome. Lot's of nice people here...hope you make a few new friends. I lived in NC for a very long time. Not too far from Charlotte.

ciao~
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