A Lonely Life Forums

Full Version: When to give up on a friend who does not text back, call me back
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
I have known a friend whom I have met while volunteering at the same hospital two years ago.

For about three months into starting my hospital volunteer work, we were both in the same department.

After three months, I decided that I wanted to volunteer and work in another department.

Him and I also attended the same college, in the same course of study, although he was three semesters ahead of me. He graduated from the program back in May 2013, and after that, I kind of kept in touch with him. Then he vanished off my friendship radar.

It was not until July 2014 when I was working as a temporary assistant through a health care agency where I was sent to work in an assisted living center for elderly people. I only worked at that facility up until September and then went back to my current full-time job.

I then bumped into that friend, who happened to be working as an LPN within that facility. So I asked him for his phone number, and then we hung out for a few time for lunch or dinner.

The last time I met with him was in December of last year. After that, he never bothered to respond to my voicemail, or text messages. And no, his phone number did not change, as his voicemail comes on after a couple of rings on his cell phone.

I don't know what makes him dislike me, as we never had any arguments or issues.

My hypothesis is that this punk guy, who also works at the same hospital I currently work at, also works at that assisted living facility, on a part-time basis.

I am guessing that the guy at my hospital talked smack about me, encouraging that friend to break ties with me.

So have any of you fellow brothers and sisters here faced a situation where a former friend no longer responds to your voicemail, or even responds to your text messages?

How long do you keep calling the friend, or send text messages to that friend, until you give up, and then realize that it's time to cut friendship ties to that person?
Three rules of thumb:

- Don't show that it's affecting you, unless they're old friends.
- The less available they are, the less often to suggest plans.
- Talk to them without suggesting to meet, from time to time.
(03-09-2015, 09:21 PM)TheLonelyNomad Wrote: [ -> ]I have known a friend whom I have met while volunteering at the same hospital two years ago.

For about three months into starting my hospital volunteer work, we were both in the same department.

After three months, I decided that I wanted to volunteer and work in another department.

Him and I also attended the same college, in the same course of study, although he was three semesters ahead of me. He graduated from the program back in May 2013, and after that, I kind of kept in touch with him. Then he vanished off my friendship radar.

It was not until July 2014 when I was working as a temporary assistant through a health care agency where I was sent to work in an assisted living center for elderly people. I only worked at that facility up until September and then went back to my current full-time job.

I then bumped into that friend, who happened to be working as an LPN within that facility. So I asked him for his phone number, and then we hung out for a few time for lunch or dinner.

The last time I met with him was in December of last year. After that, he never bothered to respond to my voicemail, or text messages. And no, his phone number did not change, as his voicemail comes on after a couple of rings on his cell phone.

I don't know what makes him dislike me, as we never had any arguments or issues.

My hypothesis is that this punk guy, who also works at the same hospital I currently work at, also works at that assisted living facility, on a part-time basis.

I am guessing that the guy at my hospital talked smack about me, encouraging that friend to break ties with me.

So have any of you fellow brothers and sisters here faced a situation where a former friend no longer responds to your voicemail, or even responds to your text messages?

How long do you keep calling the friend, or send text messages to that friend, until you give up, and then realize that it's time to cut friendship ties to that person?

If you text them and they don't reply then I wouldn't consider them to be a friend anymore. Doesn't take long to send a text. Yes maybe they forget or run out of credit. But it shouldn't be you initiating contact all the time anyway.

I don't enjoy sending text's anyway. I hate the 'wondering' whether you are going to get a reply or not. At least on Facebook that little 'seen' message comes up to indicate if the person has read it. Same with here with the messages. If somebody has logged in on here and not bothered to read my message then I'm not going to bother anymore.
I agree, if they can't even be bothered to respond to a text or call, there's your answer. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, some people are lousy at keeping in touch, some people are too busy, some people just don't like you, or like you enough, or they expect everyone else to do the work to see them all the time. Not worth it.
I would say if it is over a month to stop waiting for a text or phone call back. he is just trying to let you go nd he doesn't have the balls to say anything to your face. I wouldn't wait anymore and just move on. the guy's a dick for doing this to you. I had the same thing happen to me, a fiend of over ten years ditched me just because I got married and he thought his chance with me was over sp he stopped all contact completely. it broke my heart because we were best friends, I thought but it seems he had a ulterior motive. stupid bastards some people
It's been a year. He doesn't want to respond back for whatever reason. And, the reason WHY doens't matter. There could be a reason or no reason at all. However, people have busy seasons of life. You could just pop him a text from time to time. And, the ball is his court. At this point, i would forget about him and focus on trying to make some new friends instead.

LonesomeDay

Difficult one, as I was in a similar situation last year: waiting and hoping for some kind of reciprocity and wanting the friendship to continue and/or develop.

However, there has to come a time (imo) when one is done with waiting.

Sometimes, the time has come to view the person as an acquaintance, which may mean giving up on the idea that they might become a true friend.

Also (and sometimes difficult to answer) is the question of whether or not you were ever seen as a friend - or simply an acquaintance or work colleague?