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Love and destiny. If you know and truly believe that the one person you were destined to to be with, what would be the best way to tell them so? Just come straight out and tell them or try and befriend them and hope that they come to feel about you the way as you feel about them?

What if they do not truly believe that the two of you were destined to be together, what would you do?
You should always be as open and honest as possible with people you love. Life is too short to do anything else. If they don't feel the same way about you and don't believe they ever will, it wasn't really destiny. At least you'll know, so you can begin to move on with your life.

As for being friends with someone you're in love with, it's possible, but difficult, and you should still be honest about how you feel. If you told them how you feel and they don't feel the same, it's even harder. Hiding something like love rarely works. Most people can't pull it off. They cry about being stuck in a "friendzone". Which is a completely meaningless term that they use to make themselves look like a good person. But really, the friendzone people are being selfish. They hang around their "friend" because they want something from them, not because they're interested in friendship. They complain endlessly about their "friend's" significant other, claiming that they're a scumbag/bad person. They talk about how they do sooo much for their "friend", but they're not getting the romance they think they deserve in return. It's all very sad. Don't be one of those people...


So, if you're going to be friends with someone you're in love with, you have to follow some rules:

The friendship is always more important than your romantic feelings. Always!

Respect your friend's decisions, including and especially their choice of significant other. If you can't do this, then you can't be their friend. It's as simple as that. It doesn't mean you have to agree with all their decisions, but you have to respect them.

Never, ever do something nice for your friend because you think it'll buy you some kind of love points, or because you think it'll get them to change their minds someday. Chances are, they won't change their mind, and you'll just end up here telling people you've been "friendzoned" Do nice things for your friend because they're you're friend.

Always be honest about how you're feeling, with yourself and with your friend.

Try to move on romance wise: There are other people out there. Hanging around someone you're in love with can be like torture, so you have to resolve these feelings, for your own good and your friend's.

I've seen a lot of people come through here who completely failed at only being friends with someone they have romantic feelings for. Very few of them followed any of those rules, and even the people who followed a few still failed. I don't blame all of them for failing, because it is hard. You have to be careful, and always put the friendship first.
Would it be destiny if only one person felt that way?
Hmm...it's interesting (for me) how you feel destined to be with someone, who may be so oblivious to your feelings to the point of you having to tell them. I would have thought that feelings so strong as these would have been mutual.

Then again I've never had crushes or understood this "friendzone" thing either. If I like someone, it's often because I've got this gut feeling they like me too. Perhaps it sounds selfish but I've never fallen for someone who I know has no interest in me, like a little voice in my head saying "the spark isn't there" while when it comes to a person I like, there is always a vibe of mutual attraction.

So for me, if I felt the two of us were destined to be together then there is a extremely high chance that she's feeling it too which makes it a lot easier. OP if you're feeling it and they aren't, perhaps you aren't coming across enough as being relationship material? I.e. acting like a regular friend rather than someone interested?

I think a few of these friendzone situations develop from someone acting generically interested and expecting the other person to see that as being romantically interested. Like I said though, a lot of this is lost on me and I apologise if my ignorance has come across as being offensive.
None of the women I have liked / been in love with / had a crush on have ever liked me back.
None of them. None were willing to give me a chance. I haven't had a first date with any of them.
Some laughed at me, some reported me, some were nice.

Some of them I thought may be interested. But it was me looking too much into simple, polite smiles or small talk.
But if the other person knew about those feelings, and still did not believe that the two of you were destined to be be together, and still just expected to be just friend's,and they knew that being just friend's hurts the other person who they call a friend,what then?
Surely if they know that you are a great friend, kind, caring, ,considerate, and honest, then something must be wrong that would put them off wanting to be more than friend's?
I'd say that sometimes, despite how you see it, people just don't spark or connect. It's not yours or anyone else's fault, it's just one of those things. No matter how much of a catch you may think you are, you can't expect others to see it like that for whatever reasons.

Perhaps the friend is keeping you as a friend because they enjoy your company on a purly platonic level, again nothing wrong with that in the slightest. If however you feel like you can't continue as just friends then politely bow out and let it go.
There's always the risk that the other person doesn't believe in destiny or soulmates and will be ambivalent if you try to communicate your belief that the two of you are meant to be together.
(05-27-2015, 12:20 AM)Raven22 Wrote: [ -> ]But if the other person knew about those feelings, and still did not believe that the two of you were destined to be be together, and still just expected to be just friend's,and they knew that being just friend's hurts the other person who they call a friend,what then?
Surely if they know that you are a great friend, kind, caring, ,considerate, and honest, then something must be wrong that would put them off wanting to be more than friend's?

I was wondering the same. Although, I don't think something must be wrong. Sometimes, things just don't happen. Not right or wrong. It just doesn't work out.
Everyone wants to be loved. If you tell someone you love them why do they start liking you less?
If you are so good together what is wrong in making things even better?
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