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It's the second time I had to go trough this, changing jobs and moving simultaneously. This time there are some uncertainties which are making me anxious and in turn depressed. On one hand I have those external circumstances that are causing me unease and on the other hand I know that I have survived much worse and came out reasonably unharmed. Having that knowledge, I still can't find a way to cope right now in the given situation. The only thing holding me together is my job and I am having a few days off at the moment and plenty of time for bad thoughts to invade me. Almost can't wait to go back to work on Friday!
At times like this I wish I had someone to console me and tell me that every thing will be fine. A thought crossed my mind to find a husband. It shows how deeply I am unwell at the moment since I would never think in that direction or wish for anything similar.
Deep within I know I'll be taken care off and I do put my faith in God however, I get impatient. Time heals all wounds but, does one get mentally unharmed out of a bad situation? Even writing my thoughts on these pages helps a littler bit. There's no right or wrong answer, no cure or patch up, only time will tell. I need to learn to let go in certain instances.
Hey Wildrice,

The type of change you talk about is one that scares me greatly and odly enough also feels exciting, I haven't changed my job or or moved ever, except out of my mothers home to my own place. I have often thought about how I might experience such a change and always think it would be good for me, moving to a different place with new people, changing jobs and being forced into a new social environment. I've never taken the step though because of fear of the unknown, of stress and of ending up in a job that I don't like or with colleagues that don't accept me the way I am.

The fact that you've done this once already and came through will probably help you a great deal, you know what to expectand for the most part what to watch out for, the uncertainties you talk about are ofcourse something that brings allot of stress with it, they are known encertainties and maybe that gives you the oppertunity to takle them beforehand.

Do the best you can and let things go if they are out of your control, take time for yourself to unwind and relax.
Best of luck and hang in there!
Goodluck Wildrice. Even though logically we can think it's okay, I will come out of this alive, anxiety still manages to pop up it's nasty little head.
Sometimes moving on can be hard and hurts, but holding on to something that can never be is even harder and hurtful.