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This is normally what I hear for the post-college crowd. What are your experiences? 

I work for a company that resells hardware and I only regularly see a couple people every day. When I started I felt a lot of pressure to find personal friends here, and it hasn't really panned out.
I made a friend at one of my old workplaces. I didn't care much for him at first when he was new, but after a while we found we were very similar in taste and interests. It took some time until we decided to do something out of work, for me it was a very big step, but we went golfing! We became good friends he and I. Now some 10 years later we both have full time jobs and live further away from eachother, so it's harder to find time to meet, but he's still my one true friend.

Now I mostly work with people who are 12 years younger than me, so I don't expect any friendships to form, but you can still interact and be friendly together at work ^-^
(09-20-2018, 10:30 AM)Tealeaf Wrote: [ -> ]This is normally what I hear for the post-college crowd. What are your experiences? 

I work for a company that resells hardware and I only regularly see a couple people every day. When I started I felt a lot of pressure to find personal friends here, and it hasn't really panned out.

It hasn't been a practice of mine to make friends at work. I keep work people in the work "box" - that tends to be a safe way, for me, to keep those relationships viable.   Once you have a problem with one of your "friends" - you still have to work with them.  I've seen where I work occasions where there was a conflict, then there's the "unfriending" of each other, telling other co workers and trying to get people on your  side.   It's weird watching it happen from the sidelines.  I remember a few years back, one female coworker I used to talk to alot, ran into a conflict with another female coworker I also spoke to alot, and share a history with that is a story in itself (non romantic).  I stopped by her office one day and she told me not to trust the other one (with the history), said she's a backstabber and insisted that I not trust her, or MY boss.  This insistence was uncomfortable, and told her I'm sorry that happened between them because up until then, they were close friends.  She pulled me aside a few more times trying to "warn" me, and the last time she followed me down to my office, I bluntly told her that her conflict was her own, and I again was sorry it happened, but it wasn't MY conflict. 

I haven't spoken much to her in the last 3 years because of this.
(10-21-2018, 08:19 PM)morrowrd Wrote: [ -> ]
(09-20-2018, 10:30 AM)Tealeaf Wrote: [ -> ]This is normally what I hear for the post-college crowd. What are your experiences? 

I work for a company that resells hardware and I only regularly see a couple people every day. When I started I felt a lot of pressure to find personal friends here, and it hasn't really panned out.

It hasn't been a practice of mine to make friends at work. I keep work people in the work "box" - that tends to be a safe way, for me, to keep those relationships viable.   Once you have a problem with one of your "friends" - you still have to work with them.  I've seen where I work occasions where there was a conflict, then there's the "unfriending" of each other, telling other co workers and trying to get people on your  side.   It's weird watching it happen from the sidelines.  I remember a few years back, one female coworker I used to talk to alot, ran into a conflict with another female coworker I also spoke to alot, and share a history with that is a story in itself (non romantic).  I stopped by her office one day and she told me not to trust the other one (with the history), said she's a backstabber and insisted that I not trust her, or MY boss.  This insistence was uncomfortable, and told her I'm sorry that happened between them because up until then, they were close friends.  She pulled me aside a few more times trying to "warn" me, and the last time she followed me down to my office, I bluntly told her that her conflict was her own, and I again was sorry it happened, but it wasn't MY conflict. 

I haven't spoken much to her in the last 3 years because of this.

That's something to worry about, I guess. I'd hope that by the time people are working in full-time jobs drama is something they've grown out of, but that's not always the case.
My policy: no

There are no friends at work. There can be "friendly" interactions.

But make no mistake, those people are there to move ahead in the world.

The vast majority of your coworkers will sell you down the river, stab you in the back, pick your pocket, and watch you go broke and homeless if it means saving their own skin or even a promotion.

It is what it is.

My goal is to make sure that my coworkers respect me, or if not, fear me.

Either way.
The last job I had was mainly older people - though I still had conversations with them.
I don't know, I occassionally still talk with my manager from last year. We're pretty close and whenever he needs someone to talk to, he messages me. Honestly, I miss him.
Usually, I worked with unfriendly people and could not make friends. Some of them despised and abused me.

But once I worked with good people and happily met one kind guy who quickly became my friend. I really liked him. We talked much and helped each other. However he has his family and children and has no free time to keep our friendship. I still like him but meet him only once in some months.

In most cases people at work are unfriendly, rough or even agressive. So the workplace is not good to make friends.
It is not a good idea, especially if that friendship is work only and doesn't extend beyond that. It's not a permanent thing, they or you, won't always be there. It's not worth investing your time, energy, and getting emotionally attached to co-workers. Plus if you or they end up in a position of authority it could have a negative affect on your friendship.
I would say it depends greatly on the level of friendship and the nature of the people involved. As a rule, no, but that doesnt mean very strong friendships cannot form between co-workers. It just needs to be handled in a careful way.
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