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Full Version: What is wrong with me
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(02-15-2020, 10:36 PM)Yeti1980 Wrote: [ -> ]It can be very hard to find ways into work when you're getting older. I had health problems which meant I didn't get into full time work until I was 35. Yes, 35. Its doable. I now own a house, I'm married etc, all in the space of 5 years or so.

Like I’ve said, that doesn’t sound appealing to me. Working my ass off just to make my life “okay” and mediocre, unremarkable, and confirm being a genetic inferior? No thanks. Why would I look forward to that? That’s not self-improvement. That’s coping.

And you’re wrong that fixing my issues is possible, and you’re all also wrong that my issues are not different. I’m a very different kind of person than any I’ve ever known, in terms of personality, in terms of background/how I was raised, and in terms of my looks. I promise I’m not your normal case. Generalities about people don’t apply to me. I’m not a person.

I can’t get better. I’m not capable. I don’t want to. I’m too old. It doesn’t mean anything anymore. Success only means something if you’re young. 

Besides, if you look at science, it will tell you that the people that succeed early in life are genetically gifted, and that guys like me are genetically inferior, and that that’s what explains it. I can’t improve myself. I’ve already proven which kind of person I am. I wish I could just go back and opt out of being born.

I just need to be finding the courage to end my life, but it’s so difficult. There’s that last little speck of natural instinct wanting to stay alive and afraid of death. Life is a trap for people like me. A prison.
What exactly are you looking for help with?
The main thing that comes across to me here is that you've made all kinds of "final" and immovable decisions, it often feels as though we reach a final answer to something only to find some other answer along the way.

To put things into context, I work in an Operating Theatre. Where I work now is a little less life and death, but previously I've been involved in all kinds of cases. The point I'm making is that I've seen a wide spectrum of life's situations and ailments, and from the info you've given I'm not seeing anything that compares to those kinds of problems. Let me be clear that I'm not saying that your feelings aren't important, it's just that you're in a cycle of frustration and you're reaching all kinds of negative conclusions as a result of what you're experiencing. All of this stuff about not being a success because you're 30 etc is a bit tiresome. I mean that in a nice way, you're a person and you deserve better. It's about appreciating yourself, appreciating others and getting on with life without overthinking things. I know, I've been there.

It's also important that you stop "grading" everything, nobody can quantify success in it's truest sense. In my case I have a home, a family, some free time outside of work to enjoy life in, etc. Having love and happiness are the most important things in the world, not any particular material thing. Again drawing from my work experience, I used to work in a private London hospital. We saw all kinds of people, movie stars, sporting personalities etc etc. The only thing that was really important to the patients and to us was their well-being and the family they had waiting for them back upstairs. In bad moments life gets stripped back to bare essentials, and it's those that everyone should concentrate on. You write about success as though it's a "thing" to get, but it isn't some sort of object and I've seen plenty of people who are supposedly successful who don't have fulfilment.

Wishing you all the best.
Maybe having someone to talk to more regularly would help? 
Sucks so much to be in the place you are in. 
With someone supporting you or offering to listen I find it gets a little better.
(02-16-2020, 12:02 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: [ -> ]What exactly are you looking for help with?

I don’t know if I’m looking for help at all. I’m looking for a way out. People call guys like me “whiners”, but they’re basing that assessment on us being normal, competent people. That’s not the case. Something is, and has always been severely wrong with me. But I’m too old. It’s too late to start over. I’m fed up with life. I hate it. I just want out. Just let me cut my losses and bail. There’s no need for me to be around.

(02-16-2020, 01:58 AM)MissBehave Wrote: [ -> ]Maybe having someone to talk to more regularly would help? 
Sucks so much to be in the place you are in. 
With someone supporting you or offering to listen I find it gets a little better.

No. There’s nothing to talk about. Nothing can be done. I’ve already cemented who I am. There is no fixing things.
I think people call "guys like you" whiners because you only complain. You make an excuse or bash anyone who gives you advice. You just give up.
Stop giving up. If you want to give something up, why not try giving up the negativity. Why not try giving up your irrational hatred of women. And you are never too old.
(02-16-2020, 03:39 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: [ -> ]I think people call "guys like you" whiners because you only complain.  You make an excuse or bash anyone who gives you advice. You just give up.
Stop giving up.  If you want to give something up, why not try giving up the negativity.  Why not try giving up your irrational hatred of women.  And you are never too old.
You keep bringing up my “irrational hatred of women”. I don’t have an irrational hatred of women. I have a very sober understanding of their nature, and they disgust me. They’ve always been apex predators preying on me. They know all they have to do send guys like me into a depressed oblivion and crush our souls is send a facial/body language signal that says “eww get away from me”. But women have done far worse than that to me, and they know full well they’re doing it. Even when I’ve earnestly tried to approach them, they’ve been hateful bitches to me every time. 

I’m done. I will put forth NO MORE effort into this life. I’m a genetic mutant and a freak who is obviously ill-adapted and has no business being alive. I DON’T WANT the improvement! I just want out!
So where do we go from here? What I don't understand is why you are now a lazy loser and are burned into everyone's mind as such. I remember you saying that you worked your ass off on your dad's farm and that you earned a lot of money with the harvest. What happened to all of that stuff? If that's still mediocrity, then I don't know.

Whether you're a genetic mutant...what the hell do we know. This isn't the Lookism forum anyway.
(02-16-2020, 04:13 AM)Rodent Wrote: [ -> ]So where do we go from here? What I don't understand is why you are now a lazy loser and are burned into everyone's mind as such. I remember you saying that you worked your ass off on your dad's farm and that you earned a lot of money with the harvest. What happened to all of that stuff? If that's still mediocrity, then I don't know.

Whether you're a genetic mutant...what the hell do we know. This isn't the Lookism forum anyway.

The market flopped. It never sold. I made no money from it
You had the work ethic and guts to try that out. Maybe a new project would give you a little break in these thoughts?
You clearly possess good qualities. 🌼
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