Lost my job.

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insecure

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2022
Messages
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Belgium
Yesterday I lost my job.
This comes at a very bad time for me, because I was trying to solve my problems with relations, sexuality, low self-esteem, etc.
It scares me in several ways.
Scared not to find another good job, but also afraid that it will take all focus away from my other problems, and as a result I will never solve those issues.
Needless to say it does not do any good to my self-esteem.
 
There are a million jobs out there. Of course you'll be able to find one. And don't even worry about the self esteem. This gives you the perfect chance to build it. Update your resume and see how far you've come. Your cover letter will give you an excellent chance to write out all the reasons you would be perfect for the job you apply for. Maybe take a lesser job for right now so you can get some more training or something. Networking can help you with relations, even if you mean romantic relations, you will still be out there talking to people and learning from it.
 
Thank you Callie (if that is how you wish to be called).
I needed a few kind words to boost my self-esteem.
I don't think it will be very easy though, I think that what I did in my last job was very much in a niche market, so I doubt I will be able to use that knowledge elsewhere.
I just hope I find something, I would love to have a job in which I can use my language skills, but that is not so easy to obtain either.
 
I just hope I find something, I would love to have a job in which I can use my language skills, but that is not so easy to obtain either.
It only takes one employer with one position to fill your desire. If you're American the job market belongs to the applicants. There are more jobs than people looking for work.

Take what you can find, but keep looking for what you want. If your profession is so niche there won't be much competition.

Condolences for your losses.
 
Yesterday I lost my job.
This comes at a very bad time for me, because I was trying to solve my problems with relations, sexuality, low self-esteem, etc.
It scares me in several ways.
Scared not to find another good job, but also afraid that it will take all focus away from my other problems, and as a result I will never solve those issues.
Needless to say it does not do any good to my self-esteem.
Hi there, sorry you lost your job. Think that you should concentrate on getting a new one soon, it will restore much confidence too. But at least you hve money coming in and are kept busy. The rest may have been going on for ages so it can wait a bit longer.
 
Yesterday I lost my job.
This comes at a very bad time for me, because I was trying to solve my problems with relations, sexuality, low self-esteem, etc.
It scares me in several ways.
Scared not to find another good job, but also afraid that it will take all focus away from my other problems, and as a result I will never solve those issues.
Needless to say it does not do any good to my self-esteem.

I have similar feelings.
I'm currently not working, and it makes me scared that I am ruining, and have already ruined my life beyond repair.
But at the same time, just like you were saying - I'm afraid that when I am working, I'll have no time or energy to figure out my problems - especially how to be interesting and attractive - and I'll just never figure it out, and be stuck like this for the rest of my life.
It's taken me so long to figure out what I have managed to figure out, and I never would have been able to understand it instinctively, I had to consciously think it through - which I never would have been able to do if I didn't have any time to think about it. If I never had time to think about this stuff, then I'd be just like I was back in school, and I'd get the same results - nothing, no women being interested in me at all because I was unattractive, unconfident, boring, and unrelatable. The answers that other people seem to just naturally know, seem to know instinctively, never occurred to me. The way I think naturally, the way I am naturally, doesn't seem to be the way most people are, and doesn't seem to be how the world is. I understand it when I think it through, but it's not my default way of thinking and doing things, and I don't really agree with it, that it should be this way.

But if you don't find another good job, things will only get worse. So we don't really have much choice. All of the supposed "freedom" they say we have, is a lie. That's another big realization I made - growing up I thought things were better than they used to be, and they were going to keep getting better, but the truth seems to be that the world is not that great yet, definitely not as good as I thought it was. In fact I'd say it's even worse than it used to be. Things were getting better, then they turned around and started going backwards and getting worse again.

Anyway. I just wanted to say, I hear you, I know all too well that it's hard to deal with these things at the same time. And I hope you find a new job and figure out your issues soon.
 
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I have similar feelings.
I'm currently not working, and it makes me scared that I am ruining, and have already ruined my life beyond repair.
But at the same time, just like you were saying - I'm afraid that when I am working, I'll have no time or energy to figure out my problems - especially how to be interesting and attractive - and I'll just never figure it out, and be stuck like this for the rest of my life.
It's taken me so long to figure out what I have managed to figure out, and I never would have been able to understand it instinctively, I had to consciously think it through - which I never would have been able to do if I didn't have any time to think about it. The answers that other people seem to just naturally know, seem to know instinctively, never occurred to me. The way I think naturally, the way I am naturally, doesn't seem to be the way most people are, and doesn't seem to be how the world is. I understand it when I think it through, but it's not my default way of thinking and doing things, and I don't really agree with it, that it should be this way.

But if you don't find another good job, things will only get worse. So we don't really have much choice. All of the supposed "freedom" they say we have, is a lie. That's another big realization I made - growing up I thought things were better than they used to be, and they were going to keep getting better, but the truth seems to be that the world is not that great yet, definitely not as good as I thought it was. In fact I'd say it's even worse than it used to be. Things were getting better, then they turned around and started going backwards and getting worse again.

Anyway. I just wanted to say, I hear you, I know all too well that it's hard to deal with these things at the same time. And I hope you find a new job and figure out your issues soon.
Good luck with sorting things out. Don't waste a second on moaning or groanig instead. Its too important.
 
But if you don't find another good job, things will only get worse. So we don't really have much choice. All of the supposed "freedom" they say we have, is a lie. That's another big realization I made - growing up I thought things were better than they used to be, and they were going to keep getting better, but the truth seems to be that the world is not that great yet, definitely not as good as I thought it was. In fact I'd say it's even worse than it used to be. Things were getting better, then they turned around and started going backwards and getting worse again.
It's just that in the end you feel like you're only living so that you can work, my life feels empty.
No relationship, no love, no sex.
Also, wanted to point out that here (Belgium in my case) if you're out of a job, you're not really immediately gone.
Yes, they can pay you a sum of money and demand you go away immediately, but they can also make you stay a certain amount of time, in which you are still paid and still have to work, or they can give you a choice between those options.
Not always easy though, to keep on working knowing that you're out of the job in 8 months, for example, is not really fun, but it is better than some countries where they fire you without getting any compensation.
 
It's just that in the end you feel like you're only living so that you can work, my life feels empty.
No relationship, no love, no sex.
Also, wanted to point out that here (Belgium in my case) if you're out of a job, you're not really immediately gone.
Yes, they can pay you a sum of money and demand you go away immediately, but they can also make you stay a certain amount of time, in which you are still paid and still have to work, or they can give you a choice between those options.
Not always easy though, to keep on working knowing that you're out of the job in 8 months, for example, is not really fun, but it is better than some countries where they fire you without getting any compensation.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Hopefully things will change soon. 🤗
 
It's just that in the end you feel like you're only living so that you can work, my life feels empty.
No relationship, no love, no sex.
Also, wanted to point out that here (Belgium in my case) if you're out of a job, you're not really immediately gone.
Yes, they can pay you a sum of money and demand you go away immediately, but they can also make you stay a certain amount of time, in which you are still paid and still have to work, or they can give you a choice between those options.
Not always easy though, to keep on working knowing that you're out of the job in 8 months, for example, is not really fun, but it is better than some countries where they fire you without getting any compensation.

I hear that. The thought of just living so I can work, at something that isn't even my life's work but rather something I do just so I can live some semblance of a normal life, drives me crazy. Without a romantic connection it's like, what is it all for? When you get to a certain age, it feels like coupling off is the natural state, and you don't want to miss out. Living the single life past that point, just feels like less.

It's too bad we can't have a system like that here in America. Over here, when you're out, you're out, that's it.

I wonder how much better life could be, if our lives didn't have to revolve around money. How much less stressed, less tired, and more curious, more energetic, more enthusiastic, and more interesting could we be?

PS @insecure what was your job, and what job would you like to do?
 
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I hear that. The thought of just living so I can work, at something that isn't even my life's work but rather something I do just so I can live some semblance of a normal life, drives me crazy. Without a romantic connection it's like, what is it all for? When you get to a certain age, it feels like coupling off is the natural state, and you don't want to miss out. Living the single life past that point, just feels like less.

It's too bad we can't have a system like that here in America. Over here, when you're out, you're out, that's it.

I wonder how much better life could be, if our lives didn't have to revolve around money. How much less stressed, less tired, and more curious, more energetic, more enthusiastic, and more interesting could we be?

PS @insecure what was your job, and what job would you like to do?
My job was (still is) in IT, I was doing programming, but it is for their special product, I just don't feel that that knowledge will be of much use elsewhere.
All of my life I was interested in languages, and quite good at them, but I liked computers too, so I chose for IT.
I wouldn't mind doing something else in which I could use those languages, but then you suddenly find yourself competing with people who have a diploma in the languages department (translator / interpreter, etc.).
Also these days it is so much easier for a company to hire a native Spanish speaking person, for instance, than to find a local who speaks a decent Spanish.
It all depends on the job, but as telecommunications are kind of free, and the wages in those countries are often lower, the decision is quickly made.
Also, I can imagine that these days lots of work consists in translating manuals.
For example: if you would work for a company that produces lawn mowers, the job might consist in translating manuals for the different models they produce.
The first one you make would be interesting, some new vocabulary, etc.
But after a couple it would become quite boring.
These days, with the advent of automatic translation it would probably even more tedious.
You would use a program such as DeepL, which translates the text automatically and then you would need to read the result and correct it where the machine translation failed.
So I am not sure it is really interesting, I like languages but I am not sure there are that many interesting jobs related to them.

Also, IT tends to be better paid.
 
I'm sory you lost your job.
I can understand you, I didn't loose a job but I'm also in IT and also have a special experience what makes quite difficult to find another job. I tried to but failed, so I gave up for now.
But I think there are companies who need specialist with different experience, even with a special one, though it's quite difficult to find them. If you don't have to work and they give you some money, you'll have more time for a search.

What kind of IT job would you like to have?

Anyway Good Luck!
 
I was in a similar situation and things are going to settle ... don't identify yourself with a job and just do your best to find another one ... it's better to reduce MUST-urbation
 
One door closes another will open.
Get your Resume in order & get out there looking...everyday.
Good Luck !
 

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