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SpectraApocalypse

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I cant understand how people can be sober every day of their lives for their whole life. I really cant understand how they can be happy on top of that. I cant go a few days without a smoke without getting irritated at just about everything. Now I know people are gonna say "it sounds like you have a problem, you should stop" but in short, fresia that, I dont plan on it. Weed is the only thing that makes me happy. It helps me forget that Im lonely and the best part is weed cant ever reject or ditch me. Its gonna make me happy whether it likes it or not.
 
I can't argue with you. I was happiest when I was drinking. It made me want to be social. People liked being around me. It just felt easier to breath. All my pains went away. Alcohol was my best friend. But, yeah, like Ardour pointed out as you get older you have to stop doing unhealthy things. Alcohol was also causing me many other problems. I'm glad that I gave it up. But, I'm also sad that I gave it up.
 
Wait until you get a bit older. The health costs of drug/alcohol use outweigh the momentary buzz.
Im not gonna stop even if I do get health problems. If Im forced to Ill just off myself because being sober and lonely is a ******* death sentence in itself
 
I can't argue with you. I was happiest when I was drinking. It made me want to be social. People liked being around me. It just felt easier to breath. All my pains went away. Alcohol was my best friend. But, yeah, like Ardour pointed out as you get older you have to stop doing unhealthy things. Alcohol was also causing me many other problems. I'm glad that I gave it up. But, I'm also sad that I gave it up.
Being older sounds ******* terrible. I bet Ill still be alone and ignored by every woman AND THEN if Im sober and life will be motherfucking horrible
 
Being older sounds ******* terrible. I bet Ill still be alone and ignored by every woman AND THEN Ill be sober and life will be motherfucking horrible
I've been alone, as in I rarely even speak to another individual, for the least 13 years and sober the entire time. IMO, after so much time it becomes comfortable. I don't even want to speak to anybody any more. I can't image actually having a woman in my life. But, once in awhile I get lonely and it passes. My life really isn't all that bad. But, it's definitely not ideal. It's not the life I wanted or planned. However, it is what I have. So, I make the best I can out of it.
 
I'm kind of perpetually in a state of wanting a drink, so, I kind of get this, though perhaps not to this extent.
I'm not in a state where I would pawn things off or steal in order to have money for alcohol, or that I climb up the walls if I don't get any of it. It's more like I'm constantly feeling like, I wouldn't mind a beer or mixed drink right now...or several...to take the stress and despair away.

But I haven't had one since May. I don't really want to go out alone, just makes me feel like it's not worth the money, the calories, or the trouble. Like there's nothing really to celebrate, I know I won't have that good of a time, and I know I'll come back down to Earth sooner or later, so I guess I'd rather just try to figure my life out inch by inch.

Going for walks has been my substitute...it's not quite the same, but it helps some. It usually helps me think more clearly.

But I'm not ramming what works for me, down your throat OP. If it's not what you're looking for, that's OK.
 
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I've been alone, as in I rarely even speak to another individual, for the least 13 years and sober the entire time. IMO, after so much time it becomes comfortable. I don't even want to speak to anybody any more. I can't image actually having a woman in my life. But, once in awhile I get lonely and it passes. My life really isn't all that bad. But, it's definitely not ideal. It's not the life I wanted or planned. However, it is what I have. So, I make the best I can out of it.
See I cant do that. I will be alone for the rest of my life by no choice of my own but Im not gonna be sober
 
I'm kind of perpetually in a state of wanting a drink, so, I kind of get this, though perhaps not to this extent.
I'm not in a state where I would pawn things off or steal in order to have money for alcohol, or that I climb up the walls if I don't get any of it. It's more like I'm constantly feeling like, I wouldn't mind a beer or mixed drink right now...or several...to take the stress and despair away.

But I haven't had one since May. I don't really want to go out alone, just makes me feel like it's not worth the money or the calories. Like there's nothing really to celebrate, and I know I'll come back down to Earth sooner or later, so I guess I'd rather just try to figure my life out inch by inch.

Going for walks has been my substitute...it's not quite the same, but it helps some. It usually helps me think more clearly.

But I'm not ramming what works for me, down your throat OP. If it's not what you're looking for, that's OK.
I dont give a **** if I have anything to celebrate. If I have some good dro Im lighting a blunt as soon as I feel sober. Thats just the life I lead, its the only activity that helps me cope. Ive tried all the other honeysuckle, walking, exercising, meditation, none of it helps the same.
 
Weed can get expensive quickly, and drinking and I don't have the greatest of history, plus alcohol kicks my ass harder than it did 10 years ago.

My sobriety is mostly economical. I just keep my mind occupied on other things.

I'm from a family of addicts, so I didn't want to end up being like them. I can smoke, I just do so within economical reasoning. I can quit weed in ways that I couldn't quit alcohol. There's not much of a fight to it.

I have to make time for that experience though, is the thing.
All my responsibilities need to be tightened up first, money has to be right, and then schedule's gotta be clear.

Only day/night of the year I will ALWAYS smoke is for Samhain/Halloween.
But that's because it's a personal holiday to me, in memory of my friends who've died.
 
Weed can get expensive quickly, and drinking and I don't have the greatest of history, plus alcohol kicks my ass harder than it did 10 years ago.

My sobriety is mostly economical. I just keep my mind occupied on other things.

I'm from a family of addicts, so I didn't want to end up being like them. I can smoke, I just do so within economical reasoning. I can quit weed in ways that I couldn't quit alcohol. There's not much of a fight to it.

I have to make time for that experience though, is the thing.
All my responsibilities need to be tightened up first, money has to be right, and then schedule's gotta be clear.

Only day/night of the year I will ALWAYS smoke is for Samhain/Halloween.
But that's because it's a personal holiday to me, in memory of my friends who've died.
I smoke everyday that I can and I dont plan on stopping. Being sober is boring, depressing and lonely.
 
Weed can get expensive quickly, and drinking and I don't have the greatest of history, plus alcohol kicks my ass harder than it did 10 years ago.

My sobriety is mostly economical. I just keep my mind occupied on other things.

I'm from a family of addicts, so I didn't want to end up being like them. I can smoke, I just do so within economical reasoning. I can quit weed in ways that I couldn't quit alcohol. There's not much of a fight to it.

I have to make time for that experience though, is the thing.
All my responsibilities need to be tightened up first, money has to be right, and then schedule's gotta be clear.

Only day/night of the year I will ALWAYS smoke is for Samhain/Halloween.
But that's because it's a personal holiday to me, in memory of my friends who've died.
And as far as money and responsibilities go idgaf where I am or how much money I have if I get the chance, Im smoking
 
In my opinion, society, at least in the U.S., and consequently other places makes too big of an issue out, 'sobriety.' They make it such a black and white issue, when it's really not.

There is a reason, our tribal ancestors had a wacky and crazy medicine man/woman.

As long as you can take care of yourself and whatever habits you have, at the same time, there's no problem.

Most of the sobriety stuff is a stay-over from puritanical people of the old days; and that was mostly hyper-church people and wives with abusive husbands, or husbands that were a bit rowdy. And in those days, you couldn't really get a divorce; but, what you could do, is gang up on your husband, with the power of the church behind you, to try and control some one else's behavior if you didn't like it. That eventually lead to prohibition, which lead to sketchy moonshine, bathtub gin, gangsters, speakeasys, etc..

Eating a lot of red meat and fast food will send you to an early grave. Too much sugar can give you diabetes as you age. Even enjoying sports like running can destroy you, if you do it long enough. And let's not even mention people who are thrill seekers. You probably have a greater chance of dying by jumping out of an airplane than by just driving your car; and people die quite often just driving their car.

As long as you aren't creating problems for other people and can take care of yourself while taking care of any habits you have, no problem.

There was a time in my life where I thought, life without pot wasn't worth living; but, I did eventually give it up. I kind of gave it up by accident. I quit so I could get a better job, at the time; but, that didn't happen. Then eventually, I had been out of the loop for so long, I couldn't get access to it anymore, and by that time, I didn't really miss it. I found new joy in learning new things (programming, languages, reading up on stuff, etc..) And now, it's just been so long, I don't really trust myself to be able to handle all that stuff anymore, heh.

So, I kind of quit by accident, not really intending to. Sobriety isn't really a big deal, either. You just have all these idiots who come out of AA or whatever and talk so much honeysuckle, like they conquered the world by having a little bit of self control and not stealing or acting like a dumb fresia.

I don't buy all that addict bullshit though. You have, 'recovery centers,' for rich people, where they just literally pay thouasands and thousands of dollars to live in a resort without drugs. There are people who literally believe you can be, 'addicted to being in love.' You have all this, "you must admit to being a powerless addict or else, and being in, 'recovery,' is FOREVER until you DIE. Like, that's crazy cult talk.

Being in, 'recovery,' is a temporary condition, and when it's finished, you have 'recover-ed,' past tense. I mean, if you are a diabetic and don't have access to insulin and being within 100ft of any sugar is life threatening to you because you have no self control or have self-destructive tendencies because of psychological distress, then, that's fine. If that means you can't have anyone in your life who eats sugar, then that's what you gotta do. But, I just feel like a solution like that, begs for a bit more...

Either you're a rational individual with free-will, or your not. And if you aren't, then what are you exactly?

Some people are just habitually self-destructive, they don't understand why, and they may never understand why, and in such cases, perhaps that's when we enter la-la land and make-up whatever crazy honeysuckle we have to, to do the crazy honeysuckle we need to, to survive; and I guess that works for some people.

Even aiming to be healthy, can be destructive, if your too hard at it. Like too much milk can make you sick, or too much water can make you sick.

Some days I just physically (and mentally) ache from the pain of my life; but, what can you do? It's usually a temporary thing. Usually I just treat myself to a nice glass of juice, or some ice cream, and maybe meditate (those things don't really help much, mind you, but they are minor comfort when the passage of time seems the only remedy, in the end.)

Sometimes we eat to cover up the pain of life. Sometimes we drink to cover up the pain of life. There are a million ways we can try to cover up the pains of our life, that don't even involve drugs at all; and those things can often be destructive or self-destructive.

And isn't that the condition of life? As per Eeastern Philosophy, 'life is suffering.' That is the base condition of what it is to be alive. We desire, therefore we suffer. You need food and water to survive, and we need each other to greater and lesser degrees; and we need love. And when we are in great pain, we may, 'feel,' powerless, to help ourselves. We may even be in a situation where there is nothing we can do alone, to help our self, maybe. And those are hard times :( . But, some philosophies teaches us, if we observe, if we are still, if we study ourselves, we can hopefully come to know the roots of our distress, and root them out.

That's why the lotus flower, I believe, is such a common theme, in Buddhism. It symbolizes the flowering of consciousness, perhaps, that others, and quite possibly ourselves, can come to know. And there is a tendency to place great importance on compassion, for others AND for ourselves.

But isn't it queer how the popular trends in psychology, simultaneously want to, 'empower,' us, yet also convince us, 'we are powerless?' I call hogwash.

When the pain gets too big to be able to deal with your usual way though, you may have a problem, so it might be prudent to work on those issues, if you can, before they get worse.

It may very well be as simple as, 'good habits and bad habits,' and that a great deal of good habits for one, may be bad for another and vice verse; but, life, I think, is the complicated bit, and I think it drives everyone of us, completely insane, at least at one point in life, if we aren't all crazy already, walking around with our own special blend of half-crazy, just to get by, if even that..
 
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Ok...smoke. Nothing wrong with smoking. Look at willie Nelson, you know his old ass still smokes. I know lots of old heads that don’t skip a beat. The thing is don’t treat weed like a remedy for what is bothering you because it can’t fix that. You have to and you don’t have to quit smoking to do that.
 
The days I smoked weed were my most joyous time 🌻 playing card games, going out to pubs, or really doing anything not stoned seemed boring.

After various dramatics in life, I had to kick the habit. Realizing smoking weed worsen my struggles with depression. Took at least a decade to understand how alcohol and weed/drugs are depressants, but I finally came to understand it. Every time I smoked, it dug my hole a little deeper of which I had to summoned the energy to climb out of. Eventually I scared I would not make it out of the pit.... so I quit for several years. Nowadays, I cautiously have a puff once every couple of months. (Just sharing a story of why someone may quit 😔 )

Cheap date now I am 💑. One puff or one drink and I am in my happy place, we are best friends, and the world is grand 😎🎉
 
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Ok...smoke. Nothing wrong with smoking. Look at willie Nelson, you know his old ass still smokes. I know lots of old heads that don’t skip a beat. The thing is don’t treat weed like a remedy for what is bothering you because it can’t fix that. You have to and you don’t have to quit smoking to do that.
The problem is that the thing Im trying to fix cannot be fixed so the only way I have of dealing with it is getting stoned out of my mind
 
Is being alone your problem or is that a result of your problem. Maybe, if it truly can’t be fixed, there is at least a way to work around it. There is always an option. You may not like it but what is it worth to you to try?
 
Is being alone your problem or is that a result of your problem. Maybe, if it truly can’t be fixed, there is at least a way to work around it. There is always an option. You may not like it but what is it worth to you to try?
Being alone is the problem and its not because of the pot. Its because Im boring and unattractive. I dont know what other way to work around the problem because nothing makes me happy except weed.
 
Being alone is the problem and its not because of the pot. Its because Im boring and unattractive. I dont know what other way to work around the problem because nothing makes me happy except weed.

Do you think there might be a way that you could be less boring and unattractive?

Not that I am saying you are those things. I'm just trying to approach it from a fixing angle.

Also I'm dealing with exactly those same two issues so I'm trying to figure it out too.

To me the "attractive" part seems easier to fix, you just have to clean up nice, and get yourself in at least OK shape, like you don't even have to be a bodybuilder or anything, you just have to be "good enough". With guys I don't think looks are the major factor, again as long as you get to "good enough". I think it's more about achievements and personality. But I think those are hard, I struggle with those too.

Why do you think you are boring though?
And how do you think you could be less boring?
 

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