Something new to do

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Carzan

New member
Joined
Jan 17, 2023
Messages
4
Reaction score
6
Location
Lutz, FL
Thought I'd give this a try.

I'm 70 years old and 6 years ago things were going well for me. Since I was retired and my brothers were still working, I was the one to relocate to Northern Michigan to become a caretaker for my Mother when her health started to fail.. It was a beautiful area, but I had no friends there and I really had little opportunity to meet people because my mother, although sick, was a warrior and I was designated to work on projects she felt important and could no longer accomplish herself. Besides that , the Dr. appointments and hospitalizations took up a lot of time. I had left behind my life in Hawaii, my friends , activities and a "significant other", but I loved my mother and would do it again. Unfortunately, as is the case in many families, I received no support whatsoever from my brothers during this period. In fact they suspected and accused me of taking advantage of her financially. This was far from the truth. Even though I was officially retired I was working cash jobs in Hawaii, making good money.

When my mother finally passed I bought a house in Florida. My home in Leilani Estates had been destroyed by the lava flows and (since it was in Lava Zone where no bank will do a mortgage and insurance was astronomical) I lost everything, and hadn't been able to maintain relationships with friends there since I had been away so long.

Things were going well in Florida. Lots of new friends in resort and many activities. I was in good health, riding my bike daily, participating in activities , dancing at the weekly music events to live bands. Life was good until I developed what I assumed was a UTI, though I wondered how I had contracted infection because i wasn't sexually active at the time.

I consulted urologist and he diagnosed prostatitis and tried to scedule an operation on my first visit. I was treated with anti-biotics but the condition worsened. This went on for 6 months. I finally went to another Urologist, told him what was going on and he immediately suspected bladder cancer. A cysto confirmed bladder cancer but by this time it was stage 4. He operated and removed cancer but by this time it had metastasized through bladder wall and musculature into adjacent lymph node.

I went through chemo at Moffitt in Tampa and subsequently a new monoclonal antibody treatment (immunotherapy). I guess I'm lucky because I'm now in remission but not in great shape. The intrusion of cancer into Lymph node caused lymphedema and the treatment with Immunotherapy caused extreme overall body joint pain.

I can no longer ride my bike or even walk more than a few steps. Swimming exacerbates my joint pain, so I'm practically immobile.

I've also noticed that many people shy away from those who are sick and disabled, so my social life has suffered. That's why I decided to take a chance on this forum. I wanted to explain my situation to start out with , but I have many interests and would like to communicate with other like minded people. Tired of Netflix and Amazon Prime.
 
Welcome to the forums :)
 
Welcome to the forums!

Wow! I'm so sorry that life struck you down like that. Yeah, people tend to stay clear of others in need. I hope you get some enjoyment from this site. One way to see what's currently going on is to click on "What's new" at the top of the screen. I wish you well.
 
Hi Carzan and welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear your first diagnosis was incorrect. That seems to be the norm here. But I'm glad you moved on and found another doctor and are doing quite well now. Is Moffitt as good as they claim it is?

It's wonderful that you were there for your mother and I'm sure it was hard to give up your life in Hawaii. But welcome to The forum and to Florida. There are a few of us here who are your neighbors.
 
Welcome to the forums!

Wow! I'm so sorry that life struck you down like that. Yeah, people tend to stay clear of others in need. I hope you get some enjoyment from this site. One way to see what's currently going on is to click on "What's new" at the top of the screen. I wish you well.
Thanks !
 
Well, It is what it is. Wanted to introduce myself honestly but don't want to dwell on the negative stuff.
I just think about Steven Hawking. Still have interests and goals !
 
Well, It is what it is. Wanted to introduce myself honestly but don't want to dwell on the negative stuff.
I just think about Steven Hawking. Still have interests and goals !

Welcome sir.
I have found this a very good site -- whether to ask questions, tell a joke or two or just vent about things.
Hope things start getting a little better for you.
 
Welcome to you. I hope you get something from the good people of this site. We all have challenges and limitations to one degree or another so hopefully you will have some uplifting experiences here.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top