Is travelling worth it?

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MysteriousTelephone

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So long story short, I’m 30 male, in shape but chronically single, in shape but chronically single, can’t get a date or any interest. I’ve asked my friends for advice, the number one thing I get pushed to me is:

“Why don’t you go travel more?”

I don’t…. I just don’t understand the connection here.

From my perspective; I could work really hard to save the money, go backpacking in Bolivia for a week, then I’d come home and still be in the exact same position I left.

I have been abroad a couple times alone in my early 20s, it was fun enough but I have little desire to travel alone again. I’ve always thought life was about experiencing things with people, there’s no point doing something if you can’t say to anyone “hey, remember when…?”
 
Actually that's a short story. :) I used to think I needed to be with someone to do things too. There was no way I was going to go to a restaurant by myself. People would think, what a looser. But, I tried it. Although it felt odd it was actually kind of nice. I could just focus on the food. I didn't have to talk about stupid stuff. Then I started going to restaurants by myself on a regular basis. I was feeling comfortable with it. I got my seated quicker, got my food quicker, and left faster. There was no figuring out who should pay what amount. If people looked over I just figured they were jealosy of me eating all by myself. Everything is about perspective.

Now, I only take trips by myself. I go and do exactly what I want to do. I don't need to check with anybody else. I take lots of pictures that I never share with others. But, I do look at them later to remember how much fun I had and what I did. IMO, when you get used to being alone and don't care what other people think you can enjoy taking trips all alone. :)
 
I have traveled alone a lot. Generally I have enjoyed my travels alone. I enjoyed meeting people and had some wonderful moments, and as a photographer have been amazed at things I've seen and have many memories of my travels. BUT, I have also been utterly lonely many times. And nice connections you do make never seem to carry on beyond your travels. I had plans to visit a lot more places, but as I've got older, those destinations don't appeal to me any more and flying long distances in economy class is detrimental for my back and my sleep. Maybe if I can afford business or first class one day I might reconsider traveling internationally again, but for now, I just do trips in my own country, camping usually, just to get away from my depressing situation at home. The worst thing is knowing that you have to return.
 
So long story short, I’m 30 male, in shape but chronically single, in shape but chronically single, can’t get a date or any interest. I’ve asked my friends for advice, the number one thing I get pushed to me is:

“Why don’t you go travel more?”

I don’t…. I just don’t understand the connection here.

From my perspective; I could work really hard to save the money, go backpacking in Bolivia for a week, then I’d come home and still be in the exact same position I left.

I have been abroad a couple times alone in my early 20s, it was fun enough but I have little desire to travel alone again. I’ve always thought life was about experiencing things with people, there’s no point doing something if you can’t say to anyone “hey, remember when…?”
I agree with you, but everyone is different. The people who see it like that are living for the moment and ignoring its a bad investment of time and money if you would not really enjoy it or look forward to when you return. I don't understand this thing about travelling as if it somehow wipes out all of the negatives and upsets. It could wipe you out financially or use up all your funds that you could have spent on better things that last. I prefer to spend on tangible things like a beautiful piece of furniture, a handmade ornament etc or get the house decorated properly. And doing it alone is lonely. Don't ask friends for advice, they are clueless as to what is best for YOU and how YOU feel. They may have never been in a similar situation anyway.

I remember once when I was single and extremely lonely, I had just sold my successful business which I had given all of my time to for years, which is why I had no friends, I phoned one of those help lines. This silly old lady - who totally ignored that I had a brain and seemed to assume that anyone who is single desperately needs advice because they cannot think or make decisions - said Ive got a great idea, you must travel to an english speaking country on other side of the world, spend a few months or more there, get to know some people,
then when you return you should have made a contact there and you can then email each other back and forth and you have a penfriend.Wow I said. So I forget all about the new business I am setting up, and the money it can bring in that gives me a very comfortable life, and write off all of the money and time Ive already spent on it, and spend a lot on travelling, hotels etc, ignoring my obligations here - put my pets in kennels at vast expense, neglect them emotionally, and what you are telling me is that the best result would be that I maybe, just maybe, end up with a penfriend? Yes she said. But when you want to spend time with a friend again you could go back there, travel to that place again and meet up with her for a coffee or something! Wow. So I would now be neglecting my pets and business etc to go back to the other side of the world to have coffee with someone?
Yes she said. It did not occur to this daft woman it would make more sense to go to a town within much easier travelling distance so you could meet them easier and more often - or if you only want a penfriend go to a penfriend site and sign up - free - and get one quickly - and one who is more into writing and more your type!

A lot of people are out of their depth when it comes to understanding another person, but they love to feel wise and important so give you their opinion anyway, it never occurs that they are way off the mark, their ego gets in the way of common sense. A lot of people also fail to see that you are you, what is right for you is not necessarily the same as what is right for them.

When I first sold my business I had a lot of interfering know it alls telling me I was being too fussy about a partner, that it should not matter if they are stupid, lazy, poor, less than average, because at least it would mean I am no longer alone! That is fine for THEM if they are stupid, lazy, poor, less than average - they would be great together, but not for me. I was better off just mixing with people rather than settling for that. But eventually - because I didnt listen to these idiots and held out I ended up with a man who was just right for me, as ambitious as me, driven as me, hard working as me, smart as me, good with money and all the rest. Stupid people say oh its all about money. WRONG. Its about character and personality. If I met a man who was nice and rich but got his money by inheriting it or winning the lottery I would say no thanks. Because he got lucky, he relied on luck and would not have got it otherwise. That does not make him mature, reliable, driven, hard working etc. If he was he would not have had to do the lottery and rely on luck. Bear in mind I am in my 60s now, so a guy who is in his 60s and has never achieved much and relies on luck is never going to get anywhere unless he gets lucky.
People forget that. And forget you are better off single if the lazy unsmart guy is all that is on offer.

I don't travel, for lots of different reasons. But sometimes I watch a programme about a famous chef visiting all of the restaurants in Paris, and that is far better, without any hassle, time, inconvenience etc.
 
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