Are fat people allowed to have standards?

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CenotaphGirl

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So my research has led me to an interesting area… overweight people in the dating scene.. it seems that if you are overweight the expectation is you are supposed to take what you can get and have little to no standards… do you think thats accurate ? Harsh but true? Or ridiculous, why should weight have anything to do with it?
 
"the expectation is you are supposed to take what you can get and have little to no standards"
My research...or at least my many years on ALL.... have shown me this is just expected from dating.
 
I think it's one of those "your mileage may vary" things. My vote, therefore, is for "ridiculous" 😛

And I agree, some people are into overweight people. For me personally, I've always been into anywhere from curvy to bigger women. And it's not that I think it will be easier or anything - it isn't, everyone has to be impressed and interested and that's very hard when you're forced to be a normal person just to survive - which isn't going to impress or interest anyone. It's like you have to be two different people, living in two opposite directions, at once - but that's another topic.

I no longer think the perfect person exists. I think everyone will have some degree of pros and cons. But at the same time, I think "taking what you can get", "having no standards", and "settling" is just setting yourself up for failure and unhappiness. And feeling like you can't have any standards makes you feel bad about yourself.

If you're not dating someone you actually like as a person - even if they're hot, rich, high-status, the "type" of person you want, whatever - then you're just wasting your time, not to mention theirs as well. And lying, both to them and yourself. And life's too short for insincere things. That's what I think anyway.
 
My sister's boyfriend is maybe 300 pounds. My sister is a good looking girl.
You tell me.
I know girls that will only date men with beards. Others only fat guys. Others only skinny, wimpy giys. Other massive bodybuilders.
No one should "get what they can and shut up", wether skinny or fat. Unless you're totally superficial and only after looks. You get the best person you can get. Then, you never let them go.
Wouldn't have much respect for someone who doesn't respect themselves. That includes fat people dating.

Also... according to WHAT research? People magazine and Vanity fate? They know their markets; brainless, insecure women who put on eay to much makeup and look too often in the mirror. Wouldnt put much stock into anything doren't come from a Uni sociology department or some other credible source.
 
Lots of people are into overweight people. People are people, so why should they have to settle for something less than they want/deserve?

On a side note, where exactly are you getting your "research"...shallow r us?
I agree, I have noticed there is a demand for overweight people in the dating scene, however, I have also noticed that preference leans more favourably to women than men... but I think you're right people should want what they want. I never knew it was an expectation that overweight people are the easier option... but if they are deemed less attractive by most then... maybe thats why, idk..
 
"the expectation is you are supposed to take what you can get and have little to no standards"
My research...or at least my many years on ALL.... have shown me this is just expected from dating.
This is interesting, I have never been told to lower my standards, just change them as they are too toxic lol however, not sure how I'd feel settling for someone I didn't like because... what I like is toxic, its very interesting.

I think it's one of those "your mileage may vary" things. My vote, therefore, is for "ridiculous" 😛

And I agree, some people are into overweight people. For me personally, I've always been into anywhere from curvy to bigger women. And it's not that I think it will be easier or anything - it isn't, everyone has to be impressed and interested and that's very hard when you're forced to be a normal person just to survive - which isn't going to impress or interest anyone. It's like you have to be two different people, living in two opposite directions, at once - but that's another topic.

I no longer think the perfect person exists. I think everyone will have some degree of pros and cons. But at the same time, I think "taking what you can get", "having no standards", and "settling" is just setting yourself up for failure and unhappiness. And feeling like you can't have any standards makes you feel bad about yourself.

If you're not dating someone you actually like as a person - even if they're hot, rich, high-status, the "type" of person you want, whatever - then you're just wasting your time, not to mention theirs as well. And lying, both to them and yourself. And life's too short for insincere things. That's what I think anyway.
Ugh you always have such an interesting way of looking at life Ska, Having no standards has to thrown someone into a depression, also people who use people loveee insecure, no standards having people. I think advising that is advising someone to get taken advantage of.
 
On a side note, where exactly are you getting your "research"...shallow r us?


Also... according to WHAT research? People magazine and Vanity fate? They know their markets; brainless, insecure women who put on eay to much makeup and look too often in the mirror. Wouldnt put much stock into anything doren't come from a Uni sociology department or some other credible source.

Wow I think its romantic how you said, you get the best person you can get and never let them go... super romantic!

As for my sources! I actually use various sources, I am a little nerd me... I usually hear something on YouTube, and spend hours deep diving into the ideology, so starts off less credible, but I even found article and studies on this from public health England and various universities. I am studying counselling at the moment, and human behaviours, I am hoping to be a grief counsellor however, I always wonder if I should do relationships as... dating, love, really peak my interest.
 
Everyone has a right to want what they want or be attracted to who they are attracted to. The problem, I think, comes when people have standards that are niche. If you want something that is rare, you are going to have a MUCH harder time finding that someone, regardless whether you are a certain race, a certain height, a certain weight or whatever.
This is where I suggest expanding their options. NOT lowering their standards or completely changing them, but how do you really know that what you think is your "type" actually isn't your type and that is why you are having trouble dating or staying in a relationship. You never know who you will fall in love with, so what's the harm in going outside that "type." Worst case scenario, maybe you make some friends.....
 
Everyone has a right to want what they want or be attracted to who they are attracted to. The problem, I think, comes when people have standards that are niche. If you want something that is rare, you are going to have a MUCH harder time finding that someone, regardless whether you are a certain race, a certain height, a certain weight or whatever.
This is where I suggest expanding their options. NOT lowering their standards or completely changing them, but how do you really know that what you think is your "type" actually isn't your type and that is why you are having trouble dating or staying in a relationship. You never know who you will fall in love with, so what's the harm in going outside that "type." Worst case scenario, maybe you make some friends.....
This is sooo true! I mean, I will say this, I watch this overweight woman on YouTube a lot, and my brother walked in an was like wow I'd never date her blah blah, I asked him, would he be upset if she turned him down as he said he'd never date her anyway, and he said yes!! I was sooo shocked, he said imagine someone like her rejecting you, I'd be suicidal. I thought wow, so he's allowed to not like her but it's not allowed the other way around just because she's over weight. She has a lot of videos talking about that being her experience with men, so thats when the research took a steer in that direction. I hope most people aren't that shallow, but meh I put nothing passed humans anymore lol
 
So my research has led me to an interesting area… overweight people in the dating scene.. it seems that if you are overweight the expectation is you are supposed to take what you can get and have little to no standards… do you think thats accurate ? Harsh but true? Or ridiculous, why should weight have anything to do with it?
That kind of goes for a lot of "groups" like if you are considered to be less than attractive or have some kind of disability or deformity, if you don't meet a specific stereotypical body type, or if you are too old. There is this "take what you can get" attitude. Everyone has their likes and dislikes in a partner, and some people just have too high a standard or unrealistic standards. People need to keep a more open mind and leave themselves open to more than what the perceive on the outside. You never know what you might find in someone once you get to know them and open up the **** book instead of looking at its cover.
 
That kind of goes for a lot of "groups" like if you are considered to be less than attractive or have some kind of disability or deformity, if you don't meet a specific stereotypical body type, or if you are too old. There is this "take what you can get" attitude. Everyone has their likes and dislikes in a partner, and some people just have too high a standard or unrealistic standards. People need to keep a more open mind and leave themselves open to more than what the perceive on the outside. You never know what you might find in someone once you get to know them and open up the **** book instead of looking at its cover.
Yess this is soooo true! Sorry last question… But is having a standard that is considered “too high” down to how you look?
 
Just replying to the original post, this seems to be very surface level with expectations. I think it’s a shame that folks no longer have the courage to take the time to get to know others. For myself, a fat dude, I’m waiting for a hip, intelligent woman who appreciates being out in the sun as much as possible. While I do have a preference for certain woman (tall BBWs), I’m very open to meeting women who don’t look like that, but have the aforementioned mental qualities. Settling doesn’t help anyone, and I believe that a person should be content with their own lives first before looking for a relationship. Being contented with oneself would remove the settling vibe, I’m sure.
 
Just replying to the original post, this seems to be very surface level with expectations. I think it’s a shame that folks no longer have the courage to take the time to get to know others. For myself, a fat dude, I’m waiting for a hip, intelligent woman who appreciates being out in the sun as much as possible. While I do have a preference for certain woman (tall BBWs), I’m very open to meeting women who don’t look like that, but have the aforementioned mental qualities. Settling doesn’t help anyone, and I believe that a person should be content with their own lives first before looking for a relationship. Being contented with oneself would remove the settling vibe, I’m sure.
Hmm cant I ask, sorry im a curious cat, why would you want a woman thats not your preference visually?
 
Hmm cant I ask, sorry im a curious cat, why would you want a woman thats not your preference visually?
While it is a preference, it’s not a hard and fast rule. I have found other women attractive, but I have realized over time that I do have a preference. It’s not an absolute restriction, though. I find, having met a woman, my getting to know her seems to improve my overall impression of her, looks included, if she’s cool.
 
Ugly is completely subjective. Everyone is beautiful to someone, and everyone is beautiful in their own way. If you date with low standards and low self-worth you'll get ugly results.
 

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