Recent content by Paul Bauman

It is not about me. My principles are my own personal business; it is not for public. People around me do not care about my ideas, beliefs and principles.

I do not feel Anger or Jealousy or Greed or Revenge. These emotions died. All I feel is tiredness, apathy and inner emptiness. When I see such a picture I feel nothing. I am too detached, too indifferent. All their happiness is too remote from me. I do not care.

Even if it will not give you much money, at least, it will give you important professional experience. Thus you learn and develop.

I have problem with sleep, too. In order to feel fresh, I must sleep 8 hours minimum. But during a night I almost never can get the needed amount of sleep hours. Instead, I sleep only six or seven hours. It is insufficient. Because of that I feel sleepy for all day. Then I try to take a nap...

Yes, that is right. I tried to get my head down and focus on the work. And they hated me. I tried to be useful. I tried to work more and more. But they hated me even more. People relationships is a mystery for me.

My bosses were good and tolerant people but my coworkers were demons.

I faced work discrimination many times. Many of my coworkers mocked and despised me. Why? Because I was different. They despised me because I was modest. They despised me because I was "sad" as they said. They despised me because I was mild. Often my coworkers were rude, aggressive and...

> "When I fell into deep depression at the age of 30, my friends acted as though I had the plague. It was a double betrayal because in depression, you always feel so alone, then they added insult to injury and started talking behind my back that I was crazy" I very understand you. Once I had...

I see wise words here. It has sense. I must think about it. My problem is that I too used to be despised -- by my mother, by my teachers, by my colleagues, etc. They programmed me -- to consider myself weak, bad and worthsless. I used to it and could not change my point of view. You are...

Twiggy, my self-esteem was low always, from childhood to now. No matter what I do, people around me forever will be better, much better than me. No matter what I do, people around me never accept me, never understand me, never appreciate me. So I think self-esteem is something that rooted too...

Before I die I want: 1) Create something beautiful or useful that people will appreciate. 2) Drive to other country because I do not want to die and to be buried in Russia. 3) Know as much interesting things as I can.

Here, I have my real name and surname. I see no reason to pick a nickname.

I cannot say that I really hate sports but I certainly dislike it. When I was a kid I played soccer, I dreamt about professional career as a footballer but I never could achieve it. Even now I can feel sadness when I think about soccer: I loved it too much but had no chance to express myself...

I live because I was born. It is the reason but there is no sense. No sense to keep living anymore. Maybe it is strange, but I do not know what I live for. I have no dreams, no goals. I have no girlfriend, no children, no friends that would miss me. I just want to see what will happen to my...

In past, I worked as a loader and a general worker. I left my job two years ago. Now I rent out my flat for money. It gives me about $180 a month, or $2160 a year.