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Countrygirl

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Joined
Jan 29, 2023
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Am I over thinking or is it too much to want your husband to roll over and hug and kiss you good morning? Is this only on movies cause I don’t feel loved just a convenient
Help
 

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Below is just my thoughts on your predicament. *shrugs*
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I'm sure it depends on many factors; as marriage is a complex commitment.

I think most any man would love it if their wife wanted such things; unless there was reasons why they didn't want to.

It could be all his fault, or all your fault; but, usually, if not always, we find, it takes two to tango. Even when the blame rests with another person, there are often still things to consider, concerning ourselves.

The Buddhist philosophies tell us, all suffering comes from cravings/desires. You desire affection, yet, you don't receive it, therefore you suffer. So, we could attempt to observe our selves and our environment, and ask questions.

Why do I desire affection?

Then perhaps ask some more questions. And that might lead to some other questions, etc..

Then there's psychology, which is also a process of inquiry, but often with the aid of some one with training; and sometimes that helps, sometimes not.

Or we can seek comfort and refuge in friends; but, they may do nothing but agree with us, and just appease our sense of being wronged. Sometimes we truly are wronged and we need that, other times we need to self-reflect, and that's exactly what we don't need (but we may choose it anyway because it's easier).

And yes and no, to the movies part. Love in movies is exactly that, 'love in a movie;' life, and the major experiences in it, often take a lot longer than 2 hours to play out. Though, real, genuine love between two people who share their lives together, does seem to exist, as evidenced by people who are happily married; but, I'm sure anyone who is happily married, will gladly tell you there have been tough times. They will probably say there were compromises, arguments, disagreements, near catastrophes, periods of discontent, etc.. etc..

I've never been married myself, but, I'm sure all sorts of marriages, for all sorts of reasons, have had their unhappy participants.

So, dunno if all that helps; but, it's okay to be unhappy. It's okay to want affection. And it's also okay to not receive affection when you want/need it (typically it's men who know all about that! but, not always...) And it all comes down to, is there a solution to the problem? How does one find the solution if there isn't one presently? How long will the solution take? Is it possible to achieve it at all? Is it worth the time and effort?

There are all sorts of things to consider, and taking things into consideration, when we are suffering, can be difficult.
 
Last edited:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Below is just my thoughts on your predicament. *shrugs*
.
.
I'm sure it depends on many factors; as marriage is a complex commitment.

I think most any man would love it if their wife wanted such things; unless there was reasons why they didn't want to.

It could be all his fault, or all your fault; but, usually, if not always, we find, it takes two to tango. Even when the blame rests with another person, there are often still things to consider, concerning ourselves.

The Buddhist philosophies tell us, all suffering comes from cravings/desires. You desire affection, yet, you don't receive it, therefore you suffer. So, we could attempt to observe our selves and our environment, and ask questions.

Why do I desire affection?

Then perhaps ask some more questions. And that might lead to some other questions, etc..

Then there's psychology, which is also a process of inquiry, but often with the aid of some one with training; and sometimes that helps, sometimes not.

Or we can seek comfort and refuge in friends; but, they may do nothing but agree with us, and just appease our sense of being wronged. Sometimes we truly are wronged and we need that, other times we need to self-reflect, and that's exactly what we don't need (but we may choose it anyway because it's easier).

And yes and no, to the movies part. Love in movies is exactly that, 'love in a movie;' life, and the major experiences in it, often take a lot longer than 2 hours to play out. Though, real, genuine love between two people who share their lives together, does seem to exist, as evidenced by people who are happily married; but, I'm sure anyone who is happily married, will gladly tell you there have been tough times. They will probably say there were compromises, arguments, disagreements, near catastrophes, periods of discontent, etc.. etc..

I've never been married myself, but, I'm sure all sorts of marriages, for all sorts of reasons, have had their unhappy participants.

So, dunno if all that helps; but, it's okay to be unhappy. It's okay to want affection. And it's also okay to not receive affection when you want/need it (typically it's men who know all about that! but, not always...) And it all comes down to, is there a solution to the problem? How does one find the solution if there isn't one presently? How long will the solution take? Is it possible to achieve it at all? Is it worth the time and effort?

There are all sorts of things to consider, and taking things into consideration, when we are suffering, can be difficult.

Thank you for responding
This has helped!! It’s so nice to ask for input and receive it from an outside source.
Thank you for your words
 
Am I over thinking or is it too much to want your husband to roll over and hug and kiss you good morning? Is this only on movies cause I don’t feel loved just a convenient
Help
Just a thought, tho; did you ask him?
That's the kind of thing you can, I would think, feel comfortable discussing and compromising on in a marriage. Maybe he's not particularly affectionate; once a week probably wouldn't kill anyone, or however number of mornings you want to settle on.
You can even treat it as a game. MMHTO's every sunday, write a coupon or something (Mandatory Morning Hugging Time Out ) lol
 

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