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So it's okay for the cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up but when I do it I'm an arsehole

I've done this before.

This guy I know likes to come over to the house, unannounced, and talk my ear off for hours about things that I'm not really that into, or tries to twist my arm into going out for what has wound up being the rest of the day, several times in the past - and then I get blamed for poor time management, or I just don't get anything I was going to do done that day, when really I was just trying to be nice. I remember I was about to eat lunch one day when he came over. By the time he was done talking, it was dinnertime and I still hadn't eaten lunch yet.

I've been nice in the past, and allowed these talks, but I kind of feel disrespected, like the guy has no respect for my time because he thinks I don't do anything with it, but I do.

I've told him in the past, don't come over unannounced, you don't even know if I'm home or not. But he insists on doing it anyway. So when I know it's this guy again, and I'm home alone and there's no one there to make me get the door, I've stopped getting it. I hide and act like no one is home. I feel like a jerk a little bit, but talking doesn't work, so I'm trying conditioning instead - I'm not rewarding the behavior I wish to curb. Hopefully this will discourage the unannounced visits.
 
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I've done this before.

This guy I know likes to come over to the house, unannounced, and talk my ear off for hours about things that I'm not really that into, or tries to twist my arm into going out for what has wound up being the rest of the day, several times in the past. I remember I was about to eat lunch one day when he came over. By the time he was done talking, it was dinnertime and I still hadn't eaten lunch yet.

I've been nice in the past, and allowed these talks, but I kind of feel disrespected, like the guy has no respect for my time because he thinks I don't do anything with it, but I do.

I've told him in the past, don't come over unannounced, you don't even know if I'm home or not. But he insists on doing it anyway. So when I know it's this guy again, and I'm home alone and there's no one there to make me get the door, I've stopped getting it. I hide and act like no one is home. I feel like a jerk a little bit, but talking doesn't work, so I'm trying conditioning instead - I'm not rewarding the behavior I wish to curb. Hopefully this will discourage the unannounced visits.
Dude, I love my solitude, I don't mind visitors if we've arranged something but ( like you say ) not unannounced guests .

The 'issue' now is when the missus, who still technically lives by herself across the street, isn't home her mates come over to mine looking for her. They always end up messing around with my guitars, critiquing my songs and lyrics because they think watching bloody X factor makes them experts, drinking all my craft cider and worst of all trying on my flipping clothes! wtf is that about??!!?

I don't even know half these people.
 
Dude, I love my solitude, I don't mind visitors if we've arranged something but ( like you say ) not unannounced guests .

The 'issue' now is when the missus, who still technically lives by herself across the street, isn't home her mates come over to mine looking for her. They always end up messing around with my guitars, critiquing my songs and lyrics because they think watching bloody X factor makes them experts, drinking all my craft cider and worst of all trying on my flipping clothes! wtf is that about??!!?

I don't even know half these people.

Yeah I feel that. I need solitude time to just take care of my own business, figure out my life. I've tried to make it clear to that guy, that I need to work on my life and don't have time to chat all day.

That does sound like quite a predicament you have there though. The cider, the guitars, and critiquing the songs because of X Factor...I've never watched that show but I don't think reality shows are the best way to judge artistic merit. My favorite punk bands especially, would never win those shows. But they have more heart and soul, more real feeling, than the manufactured pop stars.

Heaven help the poor soul who thinks they can try on my Op Ivy hoodie!

PS - I gave you this guy 🤣 not to laugh at your misfortune, but for your storytelling skills.
 
Yeah I feel that. I need solitude time to just take care of my own business, figure out my life. I've tried to make it clear to that guy, that I need to work on my life and don't have time to chat all day.

That does sound like quite a predicament you have there though. The cider, the guitars, and critiquing the songs because of X Factor...I've never watched that show but I don't think reality shows are the best way to judge artistic merit. My favorite punk bands especially, would never win those shows. But they have more heart and soul, more real feeling, than the manufactured pop stars.

Heaven help the poor soul who thinks they can try on my Op Ivy hoodie!

PS - I gave you this guy 🤣 not to laugh at your misfortune, but for your storytelling skills.
Hahahh, yea I knew you weren't laughing at me and your :ROFLMAO: made me see the funny side of it too, cheers man.

To be fair to the missus, she usually turns them away unless it's work stuff, always replaces the cider, the guitars they mess around with are the crap ones I leave out because I know everyone will want a go on one and the gear they try on is old stage clothes I'll never wear again.

I'm just a cantankerous anti social old git,
 
It’s almost midday and I had a terrible night’s sleep for some unknown reason even though I had a tiring day, and I’m so slow to get moving today. Slow breakfast, slow cleanup of the kitchen, slow reading of a chapter of my book, but I know I have to go out and do some cardio training and it’s a struggle to make myself head out. I will. I know I will. Some coffee first though.
 
It’s almost midday and I had a terrible night’s sleep for some unknown reason even though I had a tiring day, and I’m so slow to get moving today. Slow breakfast, slow cleanup of the kitchen, slow reading of a chapter of my book, but I know I have to go out and do some cardio training and it’s a struggle to make myself head out. I will. I know I will. Some coffee first though.
Everyone has days like this, most important thing is that you stay active. I believe in you! And if today never gets better, dont get discouraged there is always tomorrow :)
 
Is this an overly long drawn out goodbye, or is there a next phase? And have we both deemed it worthwhile to figure out, or are we lying to ourselves and each other?
 
I don't want to go back to work in two weeks. I should be more thankful for having to work only 6 months a year, but the lazy bum life is more enjoyable.
 
It's amazing she can date so many guys at the same time without any of them running into each other.
 
I'm thinking...that braised goat with rice & black beans I picked from the Dominican restaurant on the way home was pretty d**m good...
 

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