what's age got to do with it? people have been having sex for a long time now lol. I'm always dubious of studies and surveys. who is saying all this "unacceptable" rubbish?
The link between virginity and the mind
- Thread starter CenotaphGirl
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CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Age in terms of attitudes seem to shift with time, like my great grandad would say all the women he knew lost their virginity to their husbands and I wouldn't be able to list many but 1 woman I know… for example
Attitudes do change and I would’ve thought all the free sex and love-in stuff was enough behind us now that people wouldn’t have any expectations of others engaging in sex these days.
I gotta go to bed. Pity it’s not for sex lol
I gotta go to bed. Pity it’s not for sex lol
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Never know what might happen in dream town
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I believe that is Objectophilia.I've never been able to walk away from an overdriven Stratocaster plugged into a Marshall stack though ... no idea what that says about me
You lost me at losing virginity.
ardour
Well known loser
I've become obsessed with women in the past, so maybe there is something to this.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Its when someone hasnt connected the dots so to speak
I deffo know what im talking about when it comes to men and addictions and obsessions with women. Cant be just any woman though, there are certain traits in particular that triggers this in general. Not sure how a man can stop it though if he finds himself… hooked
Unsigned
Well-known member
I've never heard of this, but then again I am a lot older than you.
I did refuse to engage with what I considered to be an "ugly" woman at a bar right before covid hit and a few of my friends razzed me for it -- because the one friend I was with didn't think she was that ugly (she was - his standards are lower than mine), but that was just guys kidding around. I would never b@ng a girl I do not find attractive.
WTF???!!!
Not only have I never heard of this, I would never even think anyone would conceive of it!
I can't imagine any straight male would EVER feel social pressure to do a thing like this.
In fact, most of us would get annoyed or downright angry at the mere suggestion.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Well this is shocking, deffo not an uncommon phenomenon but then again I only know 1 man thats committed suicide and the stats are saying men commit it in mass numbers…. Probably not rich men though…
However, when you say they razzed you… whats that mean what did they say to you any jokes about your sexuality?
Unsigned
Well-known member
Not sure how the suicide angle ties into this conversation?
No. They all know what I do.
When I complain that I have to use escorts, they bring up this incident to say I am "too picky" and that I see escort because I want to, not have to. This is only because the friend with me at the bar kept saying she was nice looking. She most certainly was not. He is the type that is OK with a "butterface" and this one was a butterface. He also went into great detail telling everyone how she kept mentioning to me that it was her last night in NY and her hotel was close to the train station where we were drinking. So he really played it up that I rejected a "sure thing". I am sure she found someone less picky later on for her last night in NY.
EDIT:
OK the suicide thing was just an analogy...Got it now. Sorry...
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
I just meant that the stats often say something happens more than I can see… like when I take into consideration everyone I know, not that suicide has anything to do with this… Jesus I wish I was more clear
And hmm so they just said you was too picky and that was it? The didnt say anything to make fun of you, even in a playful way?
Unsigned
Well-known member
I guess a couple of them did.I just meant that the stats often say something happens more than I can see… like when I take into consideration everyone I know, not that suicide has anything to do with this… Jesus I wish I was more clear
And hmm so they just said you was too picky and that was it? The didnt say anything to make fun of you, even in a playful way?
They said I could have "lost my virginity" with this woman, because they felt "escorts don't count".
And it wasn't just about me being too picky.
It was about:
- being "full of cr@p" that escorts are my only option (they are for the kind of female I am physically attracted to)
- that I should "get off my high horse" and realize that most guys end up with average looking women
- "who the hell I am" to want 19 y/o 10/10s
Weeks and weeks of stuff like that.
A "let's pull the crab back into the pot" kind of thing.
It's OK though. I can take a good razzing.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I've never been with anyone, and my impulse control is not good at all, so I'm going to have to disagree.
Easy, because it's a common problem they deal with, so they can relate to each other's experience.
I don't think there's that much of a link between virginity and the mind. I think it's just, problems feel lousy, and people sharing the same experiences, whether good or bad, can connect with each other over facing the same issues.
how strong is your belief in the Zodiac? ... I am not a believer but I still like to hear my profile (in PM if you agree)
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
but its like why dont men who have slept with a lower number than they’d like to… feel sooo “familial” for example? Seems to be virgin only phenomenon
Massive I would but sadly I am trying to give it up for religious reasons
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Because never having slept with anyone at all, is the worse problem, that makes the people dealing with it feel stronger emotions. It makes you feel worse about yourself than just not having slept with as many women as you would like, or this and that woman, etc.
When you've slept with someone, it's over, the problem is solved, you know at least someone wants or wanted you, and you can have peace of mind that you're "good enough" to be wanted. You don't have to worry anymore about being so inferior, such a loser, that no one wants you. You don't have to worry about having been muscled out of a basic life experience. You don't have to worry anymore that there is something inherently wrong with you, something at your core that you can't fix, cut out of you, or separate yourself from, that makes you just not good enough, where not being good enough is a fundamental trait of who you are.
The thing about guys and virginity is, when no woman wants you, chooses you, when you're not good enough for anyone, it's like an insult, an indignity, a humiliation that cuts you to the very core of your being - probably one of the gravest, worst insults there is, because it implies that you're weak, but not that you're just doing something wrong and you can fix it, or it's not a temporary state of being - it's who and what you are and will always be, and you can't do or be any better. It's like saying that you're powerless, ineffectual, in life to be kicked around. It's like you're fundamentally defective and inferior, low-status and low-quality, inherently a loser, and like you're being dominated not only by other guys but by life itself, where life is making you its b*tch. It burns.
It's to the point where I would say, a regular guy but who has a girlfriend, would be "beating" a rich guy who can't attract anyone (if such a person existed, probably not because wealth is inherently attractive in men).
Guys that complain that they've slept with less women than they would prefer, are like people who complain they can only afford a used Ferrari instead of being able to buy a new one. Or like saying, I only have $1 million, instead of $100 million. It's about as much of a first world problem as one can get. On the other hand guys who haven't slept with anyone at all, are like people with crap jobs in a crap neighborhood. It's the difference between people whose needs are being met but not exceeded as much as they would like, versus people whose needs aren't being met at all, and being insulted at the same time.
And it goes without saying that when I say "slept with" I'm only talking about where the person actually wants you, like a relationship or even a hookup where someone at least finds you attractive enough for that - that's why just paying for it does nothing to help, among other things. It's sex, but it doesn't make you good enough, and only serves to highlight that you're not.
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CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Oooh this has opened my beautiful eyes i like thisss
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I don't like it, but I guess knowing is half the battle.
Glad you found it insightful
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
I like the way you worded this phenomenon , I find the insights amazing.I don't like it, but I guess knowing is half the battle.
Glad you found it insightful
This is deffo an area that fascinates me more than it should
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