I've Never Known Loneliness -- Until Now

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Cerulean95

Member
Joined
Jun 17, 2022
Messages
10
Reaction score
5
Location
Antigua and Barbuda
Hello to everyone. I am a young man who resides in the Caribbean.

Loneliness, which came into my life after my diagnosis, has become a constant companion.

After I shared my diagnosis with him, my long-time friend quickly severed ties with me. The other person who knows about my diagnosis, he is still in my life. But he is now living in a foreign country.

I am a far cry from being the person I used to be. My diagnosis — as well as negligence — brought about several transformations—transformations that I think have made me unlovable. I created this account, because I am hoping that, by some stroke of luck, I will attract a few sincere souls who have the ability to breathe life into me and alleviate my loneliness and despair.
 
Hello Cerulean95.

It sounds like you've had some big news: followed by some further big shocks to deal with. It must be hard to separate these out and understand your feelings.
Recieving a diagnosis can lead to a rocky emotional path while you get used to it. You may feel that, suddenly, your fundamental self-understanding has changed, your very identity uncertain. But you're the very same person you were before - yet, you now have this diagnosis; which you may choose to take ownership of; or otherwise.

Perhaps you agree, disagree with the diagnosis? Perhaps there are good aspects and bad aspects about having received it? You have your God-given complete autonomy about how you choose to relate to and interpret the diagnosis.

I am so sorry to hear about the decision of someone you til recently counted as a friend. If you were stigmatized, that is sad, but his choice of attitude and most definitely his loss. Maybe it will or won't stick, but most importantly, be safe and don't engage with persons or things that do not make you feel comfortable, heard, valued and vital.

Ultimately, I hope that you will learn to grow with change and love yourself for who you are deep down. You communicate your feelings eloquently; you appear to be self-aware. Your courage to post and speak shows that you have some self-worth and you know you deserve to be heard and accepted. I hope that you gather round you all the supports and resources available to you at this time...and through a process of soul-searching and growth, you will find your authentic self and what you most long for.
 
Hello to everyone. I am a young man who resides in the Caribbean.

Loneliness, which came into my life after my diagnosis, has become a constant companion.

After I shared my diagnosis with him, my long-time friend quickly severed ties with me. The other person who knows about my diagnosis, he is still in my life. But he is now living in a foreign country.

I am a far cry from being the person I used to be. My diagnosis — as well as negligence — brought about several transformations—transformations that I think have made me unlovable. I created this account, because I am hoping that, by some stroke of luck, I will attract a few sincere souls who have the ability to breathe life into me and alleviate my loneliness and despair.
What is your diagnosis?
 
Hello Cerulean95.

It sounds like you've had some big news: followed by some further big shocks to deal with. It must be hard to separate these out and understand your feelings.
Recieving a diagnosis can lead to a rocky emotional path while you get used to it. You may feel that, suddenly, your fundamental self-understanding has changed, your very identity uncertain. But you're the very same person you were before - yet, you now have this diagnosis; which you may choose to take ownership of; or otherwise.

Perhaps you agree, disagree with the diagnosis? Perhaps there are good aspects and bad aspects about having received it? You have your God-given complete autonomy about how you choose to relate to and interpret the diagnosis.

I am so sorry to hear about the decision of someone you til recently counted as a friend. If you were stigmatized, that is sad, but his choice of attitude and most definitely his loss. Maybe it will or won't stick, but most importantly, be safe and don't engage with persons or things that do not make you feel comfortable, heard, valued and vital.

Ultimately, I hope that you will learn to grow with change and love yourself for who you are deep down. You communicate your feelings eloquently; you appear to be self-aware. Your courage to post and speak shows that you have some self-worth and you know you deserve to be heard and accepted. I hope that you gather round you all the supports and resources available to you at this time...and through a process of soul-searching and growth, you will find your authentic self and what you most long for.
Thank you so much for this. It helps; you have no idea.
 
Hello to everyone. I am a young man who resides in the Caribbean.

Loneliness, which came into my life after my diagnosis, has become a constant companion.

After I shared my diagnosis with him, my long-time friend quickly severed ties with me. The other person who knows about my diagnosis, he is still in my life. But he is now living in a foreign country.

I am a far cry from being the person I used to be. My diagnosis — as well as negligence — brought about several transformations—transformations that I think have made me unlovable. I created this account, because I am hoping that, by some stroke of luck, I will attract a few sincere souls who have the ability to breathe life into me and alleviate my loneliness and despair.
Cerulean95, let me bid you welcome. I agree with what other people have been saying here, but I also wonder if you might be feeling betrayed by your own body in a way. It's kind of like you are mad at it, but there is no getting away from it, is there? (Not in this life, anyway!) However, there is nothing wrong with your spirit, your essence, so you may be a different person than you thought you might be, but I am willing to bet the person you are now has a whole lot to offer. I don't know the nature of your diagnosis, and do not want to know unless you are ever ready to share that information with anyone (not necessarily me), but I hope you won't find it in bad taste if I tell you I was diagnosed with genital herpes and HPV in 2009. I went through some of what you are feeling, and I also thought my chances for finding love or even just affection were over for the rest of my life. There has been plenty of rejection, but there has also been support and acceptance, all the more precious for it's rarity. Not to go on and on, but something I once heard in a therapy group may help: people who judge don't matter and people who matter don't judge. That may be simple, but it's also true! I am glad you found the site, and hope you plan on a long stay! HUGS
 

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