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Also our lives are turning into hell.

I'm starting to really want to get out of here. I want to do things a different way, I want to live a different way. I hate our lives, no joke. I want to get out of this hell misery, and live a different life.
 
Wondering what Operation Ivy's second album would have been like, if they could have gotten all members on board to do another one.

I read on YouTube that the songs "Long Way to Go" and "Step in Line" would have both been on it, from Downfall (some of the members' next band),...both are great.

The only downside is, it probably would have delayed the start of Rancid by a few more years.
 
Wondering what Operation Ivy's second album would have been like, if they could have gotten all members on board to do another one.

I read on YouTube that the songs "Long Way to Go" and "Step in Line" would have both been on it, from Downfall (some of the members' next band),...both are great.

The only downside is, it probably would have delayed the start of Rancid by a few more years.
You got me thinking now ... would tighter gun controls in the US have given the world a fourth Nirvana studio album? 🎸
 
You got me thinking now ... would tighter gun controls in the US have given the world a fourth Nirvana studio album? 🎸

That is a head-scratcher. It's certainly possible. Then again it's also possible they could have disbanded for other reasons. I think they had at least one more album in them, though. Who knows what direction they could have taken.
 
I feel like everything is going so far downhill here. I miss the good old days. When people didn't make a joke out of everything or make a million different threads in one section and hijacking threads was stopped.

Oh well, such is life. I won't say anymore or else I'd probably get yelled at.
 
My brother died yesterday. It was a sudden, massive heart attack while he was napping. He was 73, chronically overweight, sedentary and ate a sugary, high carb, low fiber diet that didn't seem to include fruits or vegetables. Or so his wife reports.
We hadn't met in 19 years and parted on hostile terms. Our family was only marginally functional and he had moved out of the home at age 16.....the other brother (I'm the youngest of 3) moved out at age 14......both of them confided years later that they simply couldn't tolerate the interpersonal atmosphere at home any more.
I'm the last one of the original five family members still alive. And the only one who has made an effort to maintain physical health. The only one to experience psychotherapy. And the only one to manage a pattern of care giving for our mood disordered, difficult mother......and that includes dad, the phony little *******.
I'm not in grief. He wasn't part of my life. He was basically a passive, non-functioning part of the family dynamic and that was before he talked his way into boarding school and then never looked back......ever.
I'm gloomily sad that our family lived the life that it did. It all could have been so different. We were all beset by our own version of the same demon......we thought we weren't "good enough" and spent our efforts compensating, denying and self punishing......but never resolving.
Well my journey isn't over. It would be nice to have some gladness and cheery company in my twilight years but being useful and depending on online forums for a social life may have to do.
 
My brother died yesterday. It was a sudden, massive heart attack while he was napping. He was 73, chronically overweight, sedentary and ate a sugary, high carb, low fiber diet that didn't seem to include fruits or vegetables. Or so his wife reports.
We hadn't met in 19 years and parted on hostile terms. Our family was only marginally functional and he had moved out of the home at age 16.....the other brother (I'm the youngest of 3) moved out at age 14......both of them confided years later that they simply couldn't tolerate the interpersonal atmosphere at home any more.
I'm the last one of the original five family members still alive. And the only one who has made an effort to maintain physical health. The only one to experience psychotherapy. And the only one to manage a pattern of care giving for our mood disordered, difficult mother......and that includes dad, the phony little *******.
I'm not in grief. He wasn't part of my life. He was basically a passive, non-functioning part of the family dynamic and that was before he talked his way into boarding school and then never looked back......ever.
I'm gloomily sad that our family lived the life that it did. It all could have been so different. We were all beset by our own version of the same demon......we thought we weren't "good enough" and spent our efforts compensating, denying and self punishing......but never resolving.
Well my journey isn't over. It would be nice to have some gladness and cheery company in my twilight years but being useful and depending on online forums for a social life may have to do.

Sorry to hear this. I've seen this family dynamic you detailed play out time and time again. You were the strongest one. It's difficult being in that role in the family, but it's the best role to be in when you really think about it.

Things can get brighter as long as you don't lose hope. Amazing and beautiful things are to come, you just have to look for them, or be in the right place at the right time. But never give up! Love can be right around the corner =) maybe go to a church? There's so many avenues.
 
Sorry to hear this. I've seen this family dynamic you detailed play out time and time again. You were the strongest one. It's difficult being in that role in the family, but it's the best role to be in when you really think about it.

Things can get brighter as long as you don't lose hope. Amazing and beautiful things are to come, you just have to look for them, or be in the right place at the right time. But never give up! Love can be right around the corner =) maybe go to a church? There's so many avenues.
Thanks for the positive feedback Francis! Actually, I do belong to a church....I have a few differences with their theology which I keep to myself, but there are many good people and the primary draw for me is the quality of social belonging.
 
Today has been hard. Fathers Day I miss mine so much, it is still incredibly painful. I miss talking to him, he was so interesting and kind.
Plus comforting the older kids after what they bought their Dad out of their own earned money wasnt good enough for him.
 
I really hope I get a full day off to spend with my new pillows. They've been great with the short night sleep, but I need a lounge day.
 
There's always a lot on my mind. The main thing right now is about receiving my benefits. I'm a 3x cancer warrior (currently with stage 4 uterine) & I'm working a lawyer to get my benefits. I don't have consistent funds, so it's stressful.
 

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