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Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - Printable Version

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Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - IceCastles - 11-13-2016

After trying for 10 years none of my friendships have stuck. Usually if I bump into them they are asking for coffee or to catch up. If I take it seriously and try to arrange something they are too busy. I've realized that "let's go for coffee" is just small talk.

Very disappointed and I've tried everything. There just isn't room for me in anyone's circle. I'm a stereotypical "good girl" and I guess I'm boring.

I'm lucky to have my daughter because she keeps me going. I know so many women sharing their interests with each other, bonding over motherhood, cooking or going out together. I've let some of them know my interest but I'm not "part of the group". I must look weird or have a dull personality.

It really sucks to be reminded of how I don't fit in as I near my 30s. I'm too old for this shit. I wish I wasn't so lonely for friends.


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - IceCastles - 11-13-2016

Also to note, many women I know are extremely cliquey and have tight-knit groups.

They also rant about how awful their friends treat them. I wouldn't treat them that way and would do my best to be a good friend, but there's no room for me in their life.

I'm very lucky to have a partner...I'm sure had I not met him I would've killed myself or be in a deeper depression especially with the abusive living situation I was in. He's incredibly popular and spends a lot of time with his friends. I can't help but feel a bit jealous to see how easy some people have it. I'm happy for him but it's just a reminder of how hard I have it when it comes to making friends.


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - soresoul - 11-14-2016

It seems friends are like a chore now a days. I personally tried to keep my friends at a bare to none minimal. I always tend to find those fly by night friends that lead into nowhere that only leaves you at a stand still when in a need of a friend for a shoulder to cry on support etc.

I would stick behind family and your daughters seem to make your world brighter. Friends would only bring you down or you be just another third wheel to someone else and trust me you don't need that bullshit.

Plus, if you weed out the bullies and the haters on here, you will find great people on here who are really kind and choose to keep conversations in private and won't judge you. I made some great friendships with people on here who keep on a download here.


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - Somnambulist - 11-14-2016

I've gone through life friendless. I don't know why and don't care to know.

At some point, there is not enough energy left to care why. I reached that point a long time ago.

I don't know what if any solution there is, but I assure you that you're one of many such unfortunate people.


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - Meaw - 11-20-2016

Sometimes it feels like the rest of the world is off on meetings deciding which ones are "meant" to be excluded. I have thought, compared, guessed and much more what things I could have done differently from other people - there are a few things, but they are not enough for explanations in my world. I do not, most of the time, consider myself that socially blind. However, I still feel like it, since my results are so different from most other ones. I wish you all luck, IceCastles! ^_^


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - niceguysfinishlast - 11-21-2016

I've spent my 20's friendless. To me, my social life is dead, my love life has been dead, and there's no way either of them will ever come back as far as I'm concerned. I can't just go out and do things. It's not as easy as everyone else on here thinks it is. I pretty much never go out anymore. Sad

It also isn't helping that most of the people that I talk to on here end up leaving. It almost makes me want to leave ALL myself. If I'm lonely on a loneliness forum, then I'll be lonely for the rest of my life. It was always meant to be that way. Sad


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - Meaw - 11-21-2016

I often want to do so much more than I can, on all levels. Log in here when I'm tired. Travel when I have no money. Meet friends when I have none. Go industrial dancing though I have no idea where. Save all animals from experiments when I cannot keep a daily rhythm intact. Get revenge on everything from bank owners to human traders, but once again, limitations. I could go out and do things, but I feel no point in doing it alone.
I do not intend to leave, but I might go MIA every now and then in the brutal catfights with life. *insert random dethklok joke*


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - Wayfarer - 11-21-2016

(11-21-2016, 09:09 PM)Meaw Wrote: I often want to do so much more than I can, on all levels. Log in here when I'm tired. Travel when I have no money. Meet friends when I have none. Go industrial dancing though I have no idea where. Save all animals from experiments when I cannot keep a daily rhythm intact. Get revenge on everything from bank owners to human traders, but once again, limitations. I could go out and do things, but I feel no point in doing it alone.
I do not intend to leave, but I might go MIA every now and then in the brutal catfights with life. *insert random dethklok joke*

I can totally relate with what you've written. I have no real solution though.

Personally, I've decided I don't want to give up on myself.. believe in fatalism like "I'll always be alone".. I struggle every day in order to make even the tiniest difference in the way I act, or think.. and if I can't.. no problem.. I believe there's value even in just trying.

There has to be a reason why it's so difficult.. living life as everyone else can so easily do. I want to believe there has to be one.


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - tsar - 11-22-2016

I find it hard to keep friends the older I get. People don't want to deal with my austism and think its easy to switch it off. They have no idea how hard it is.

So I must accept I'll prob be alone for the rest of my life. Makes me extremely sad but hey I guess I'll have all the time in the world to do what I want.


RE: Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? - DreamCatcher17 - 11-24-2016

(11-21-2016, 12:50 AM)niceguysfinishlast Wrote: I've spent my 20's friendless. To me, my social life is dead, my love life has been dead, and there's no way either of them will ever come back as far as I'm concerned. I can't just go out and do things. It's not as easy as everyone else on here thinks it is. I pretty much never go out anymore. Sad

It also isn't helping that most of the people that I talk to on here end up leaving. It almost makes me want to leave ALL myself. If I'm lonely on a loneliness forum, then I'll be lonely for the rest of my life. It was always meant to be that way. Sad

I can relate so much to this. I seem to attract "friends" who ALWAYS have a hidden agenda and once they got what they want from me, they leave me in the dust. It sucks because I'm always there for people and when i need someone there's noone.

I've accepted the fact that maybe there's just something wrong with me, that makes it easy for people to be around me temporarily. Suckie feeling but can' do much about it.

If you ever need someone to talk to I'd be more than happy to chat. We can be lonely together Cool