A Lonely Life Forums
Dating Sites - Printable Version

+- A Lonely Life Forums (https://www.alonelylife.com)
+-- Forum: Issues (https://www.alonelylife.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Forum: Relationships (https://www.alonelylife.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Thread: Dating Sites (/showthread.php?tid=39446)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6


Dating Sites - bearcat22 - 01-10-2019

Perhaps you have tried internet dating sites, there are quite a few, some very specific.

I've sampled them off and on for several years, and noticed some interesting things.

One of them that men outnumber the women by quite a large margin.

This of course means that women tend to get a lot of messages. Too many, spme told me.

Since our western culture seems to have been telling women that they are never allowed to 
ever approach a man, only to wait to be approached, the majority of men just get ignored.'
No one has ever been able to make me understand this.  Who made this rule? And why do women follow it?

Finding out it is a numbers game, men quit actually reading women's profiles and crafting personal messages, because
no one ever answers.

Instead, they spam out one stupid short message to every single profile hoping to hit like playing roulette.

This of course annoys the women.

Out of simple curiosity I have created dummy accounts as if I were a woman, just so that i could
look at what other men do and say in their ads.

Some of it made me embarrassed I was ever born a man.  I mean, there are no shortage of 
idiot ads among the women, but some of this stuff was just so bad it was hard to believe.

Hoping to do some good in the world, I have posted an idea all over the internet, literally for years:

If you want to have a relationship with the opposite gender, you are going to have to actually
UNDERSTAND that opposite gender.    One of the best ways to do that is to create a fake ad, pretending to be
a woman or a man.  Send out some messages to some people, and see what happens.    I'm pretty certain not a single person
ever did this very simple and very revealing thing.  Too lazy I suppose?

Or simply did not care that things are hard for both men and for women, in very different ways.

I would also comment that women's ads tended to have some common features:

First, the woman would list a few of her traits.  This was not so much like "I speak five languages" as much as "my favorite singer is Mariah Carey"
The tone made it clear that these women had a very basic confusion.
Every person is UNIQUE, which simply means different.   This is not even remotely the same thing as being SPECIAL or VALUABLE or ATTRACTIVE, yet they all appeared to have been convinced by someone that they deserved the very best, for pretty much no reason whatsoever.

Second, a woman would describe what she was looking for in a man. Perfectly reasonable, but most of this stuff was literally insane.
About three men in the entire history of humanity MIGHT fill all of the "requirements" these women demanded in a man.

Third, the woman would rarely say anything she had to offer that a MAN would find valuable.
Never, "I will never ask you to go shopping with me"     Never,  "I will rub your feet after you come home after a hard day of work"



Fourth, an amazing number of women actually said in their ads, "If you are married do not contact me".
Now, I am not even remotely surprised that there are probably millions of unhappy married men on dating sites.
But this is like putting a sign on your door that says, "My locks aren't very good"

All they achieved was to tell the liars and cheats to just hide the fact that they are married.

Fifth, a few married women were looking for men.  So, what you're saying is, you are a liar and a cheat,
and then you expect me to trust you?   And, you are saying that someone who would help you to lie and cheat is someone you would value?

Sixth, something has come up in our culture where women are now PROUD of being unattractive?
Look, I get that models in magazines are fake.   But "Big Beautiful Woman"?    I'm supposed to think you are great
because you're in denial that you're unhealthy and unattractive?

Let's turn that around for a moment.  Suppose I have no money, and I start a movement and a phrase
and start calling myself a BBM?    Broke Beautiful Man.   Right, great idea.   Because every women loves a guy with no job
and no car.   Well F you because I'm PROUD of my Poverty!  

I recently discovered that things have gotten so incredibly bad that there is now a serious movement, a group 
calling itself MGTOW  which stands for Men Going Their Own Way.

Hopefully this web page will allow me to post a link so you can better understand
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQfBt_GxYaI



.
.
.
.
.
.


RE: Dating Sites - TheRealCallie - 01-10-2019

I'm sorry, are you honestly telling people to catfish others? That is the stupidest idea. There's already enough lying on dating sites, don't encourage people to make more. Not to mention, do you REALLY think it's fair to the people you are messaging and whatever? That's mean and disrespectful.
Do NOT do that.


RE: Dating Sites - X-1 Alpha - 01-10-2019

Other than supporting what Callie said, I'd like to add that:
bearcat22 Wrote:I recently discovered that things have gotten so incredibly bad that there is now a serious movement, a group
calling itself MGTOW which stands for Men Going Their Own Way.
MGTOW is actually a pretty cool movement. Almost everyone I've met from that community was simply disillusioned or no longer interested in dating etc. They just wanted to focus on their careers and hobbies, plus they fight for equal rights of men. I don't think there's anything wrong with prefering to share a cold one with friends instead of chasing skirts. They're going their own way, not getting in the way of the others.

If you really want to investigate a problematic movement that's existing because the "things have gotten so incredibly bad" - check out the incels (involuntary celibates). Whereas some men simply "went their own way", those guys are just women-hating psychopaths.


RE: Dating Sites - Jessicat - 01-10-2019

I do not think he is asking people to catfish someone. 
That’s quite the stretch. More about learning what makes us different.

Hmm. Keep those posts coming. 
I like reading them. 
😇


RE: Dating Sites - X-1 Alpha - 01-10-2019

(01-10-2019, 04:28 AM)Jessicat Wrote: I do not think he is asking people to catfish someone. 
That’s quite the stretch. More about learning what makes us different.
While I appreciate the data, it's still a mean way of gathering it.
In the end, most of this boils down to "vain people are vain and they have an issue with other people being vain", although bearcat did at least dig around a little bit.


RE: Dating Sites - Jessicat - 01-10-2019

Yes it is .
I am however assuming it never lasted longer than that initial pm.
But what do I know.
😄


RE: Dating Sites - bearcat22 - 01-10-2019

(01-10-2019, 04:28 AM)Jessicat Wrote: I do not think he is asking people to catfish someone. 
That’s quite the stretch. More about learning what makes us different.

Hmm. Keep those posts coming. 
I like reading them. 
😇


Thank you for your comment, you obviously clearly understood what I actually said.

Your encouragement is appreciated more than you know.


RE: Dating Sites - bearcat22 - 01-10-2019

(01-10-2019, 04:44 AM)X-1 Alpha Wrote:
(01-10-2019, 04:28 AM)Jessicat Wrote: I do not think he is asking people to catfish someone. 
That’s quite the stretch. More about learning what makes us different.
While I appreciate the data, it's still a mean way of gathering it.
In the end, most of this boils down to "vain people are vain and they have an issue with other people being vain", although bearcat did at least dig around a little bit.


No, you clearly have not read carefully or actually understood.

In what way is it "mean" to look at ads created by persons of my own gender?

I never told anyone I was interested in them, THEY contacted MY ad, and I confirmed that yes, women get a deluge of messages, and yes,
quite a bit could be reasonably called idiotic.

The value of a woman placing an ad as if she were a man, and FINALLY have some remote 
understanding and speck of compassion for what it is like to be a man in our culture far outweighs the petty and hostile 
comments on this simple experiment.

Similarly, men need to learn what it is like to get three hundred unwanted penis pictures in their inbox.

Was what I did against the rules of the site?  Nope.  My best friend is an attorney and she reluctantly assured me I was breaking 
no law, and no rules of the site.

If the persons posting hostile comments against me here had an honest or sincere 
concern about fake ads on dating websites, they could and would not be here right now. 

They would be on, for example, PlentyOfFish, flagging down what are the incredibly obvious russian prostitute ads, or on
Tinder, flagging off all the women looking for a "sugar daddy" in violation of those Terms of Service.

My intent was good, my results were good, and  NO ONE WAS HARMED.

However, as Mark Twain once said, "Some people are invincibly ignorant"

Go wallow in that for a while.



.

.


RE: Dating Sites - Jessicat - 01-10-2019

Ahh... haha. 
You are cracking me up.
This is gold. 
Good work Bearcat. 😉


RE: Dating Sites - TheRealCallie - 01-10-2019

How the hell do you know no one was harmed? How do you think people feel when they are lied to? How do you think people feel when they get a message that they are interested in and then become interested in finding more about you, just to get ghosted or told you lied to them? No one was harmed, my ass.

You don't need to know what the other gender thinks because guess what? No one thinks the same whether you are the same gender or not. It's called RESPECT. Be nice and respect the people you talk to and things will be fine.

And fine, okay, it's one step below catfishing. That doesn't make it right and it's still disrespectful and mean spirited to lie to people like that. People on dating site or generally looking for either friendship or a romantic relationship or to just get laid. Which means, if you message them, you ARE conveying to them that you are interested.