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Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - Printable Version

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Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - mikeangelocabz - 10-06-2019

Hey everybody hope your weekend is going great so far!


Often times when we're looking for a relationship we know it is love that we want and we will do anything to eventually find that ideal partner to get into our dream relationship with. But whatever it is we've been currently doing has not been working and we eventually become frustrated and maybe go into a bit of depression because we can't seem to figure out what to do to fix it. Why do you think that is? Is anyone currently experiencing this?

Let's discuss! [Image: 1f603.png]


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - harper - 10-06-2019

Please. Stop this bullshit.

Read through the rest of the forum... the "Issues" posts, for starters. See what sorts of monsters people here are dealing with. See how many are obsessive, depressive and actually contemplating suicide. Plus, a whole spectrum of physical debilities. It's NOT for lack of knowledge or need of coaching. You have no idea how to deal with these issues, and your snake-oil sales pitch is extremely irritating.

Stop.


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - mikeangelocabz - 10-06-2019

(10-06-2019, 12:06 PM)harper Wrote: Please.   Stop this bullshit.  

Read through the rest of the forum... the "Issues" posts, for starters.  See what sorts of monsters people here are dealing with.  See how many are obsessive, depressive and actually contemplating suicide.  Plus, a whole spectrum of physical debilities.   It's NOT for lack of knowledge or need of coaching.   You have no idea how to deal with these issues, and your snake-oil sales pitch is extremely irritating.

Stop.

You know this is a forum.. Forums were meant for discussions. I'm not doing anything wrong I'm simply starting a discussion. Just because it has something to do with finding a relationship doesn't necessarily mean I'm selling my coaching. I've made a career of helping men end up in happy relationships and it brings me happiness to shed some light to some people's lives. I don't know what you against me but reading through your bio I guess it does make sense why you're taking such offense to my posts. And I'm sorry for you.


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - ardour - 10-06-2019

(10-06-2019, 12:06 PM)harper Wrote: Please.   Stop this bullshit.  

Read through the rest of the forum... the "Issues" posts, for starters.  See what sorts of monsters people here are dealing with.  See how many are obsessive, depressive and actually contemplating suicide.  Plus, a whole spectrum of physical debilities.   It's NOT for lack of knowledge or need of coaching.   You have no idea how to deal with these issues, and your snake-oil sales pitch is extremely irritating.

Stop.

+1 on that. Forum seems like a dead carcass waiting to be picked apart by those trying to exploit the lonely. It's worse than reddit.

This is not the place to flog a PDF guide.


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - harper - 10-06-2019

Thanks, ardour... hopefully, the mods will cack this idiot soon.


[Image: o0dA8S.jpg]


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - Siku - 10-06-2019

While I have worries similar to Harper. I have not seen anything to assume any of this is not from a sincere place. He has been constructive, and not necessarily even given advice to anyone yet, and is already receiving cynicism and nitpicking.

Let's not pain a canvas of him so quickly and let the guy speak and contribute. Let time tell rather than purely rely on intuition or impressions. But rather, actions and fairness before a person is wrongfully alienated as someone they actually aren't. He has a right to learn from all of us here just as much as he's doing what makes him happy. The betterment of others.

By the way, native Brooklynite here. Welcome. Smile

Please. Let's not push away a potential great member to the forums because they remind us of someone else. Let's cool off here before things get unnecessarily heated and toxic.


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - Rodent - 10-06-2019

People that fail to establish any kind of emotional intimate relationship with another person after years or even decades of trying become depressed? That just seems like a very mundane observation to me. I don't care if you're a dating coach, a men's coach specifically or just somebody who's chosen this as their purpose. I can't imagine any insight that does not broadly fall into one or more of the following categories:

Don't be mental. Don't have issues. Be confident. Have social skills. Maximize your looks. Don't be low-status. Never stop trying. Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - TheSkaFish - 10-08-2019

(10-06-2019, 08:56 PM)Rodent Wrote: Don't be mental. Don't have issues. Be confident. Have social skills. Maximize your looks. Don't be low-status. Never stop trying. Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.

The "have social skills" part has always seemed vague to me. I'm not quite sure what social skills they mean. All I can think of, would be "witty banter" - the insults and comebacks dominance game, which I've never been fond of. I just don't have the..social prey drive, I guess you could say. I don't feel the innate need or desire to do it, and it doesn't come to me naturally.

I guess there's also smooth-talk - always saying the right words in the right way, usually in a way that exaggerates or overstates one's importance and competence but still gets others to go along with it. Smooth-talk seems to be slightly less obnoxious braggadocio. That's another thing I don't do naturally either cause my mind doesn't think of those things to say.

I just feel like I'm too guileless for dating. I don't have the slyness and cunning that it seems to take.

Either way, I wish someone had told me all of this 20 years ago, instead of the "just be yourself/there's someone for everyone/the right person will like you for you" Hallmark Channel bullshit. Nobody told me life was still survival of the fittest, I thought that was the bad old days and that the people who were still living like that were just assholes. The problem was, if anyone told me all these things then, I wouldn't have believed it. It took a long time for me to realize these things, and to see the patterns around me and realize that it wasn't random.


RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - Rodent - 10-08-2019

(10-08-2019, 12:51 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote: The "have social skills" part has always seemed vague to me.  I'm not quite sure what social skills they mean.  All I can think of, would be "witty banter" - the insults and comebacks dominance game, which I've never been fond of.  I just don't have the..social prey drive, I guess you could say.  I don't feel the innate need or desire to do it, and it doesn't come to me naturally.

I guess there's also smooth-talk - always saying the right words in the right way, usually in a way that exaggerates or overstates one's importance and competence but still gets others to go along with it.  Smooth-talk seems to be slightly less obnoxious braggadocio.  That's another thing I don't do naturally either cause my mind doesn't think of those things to say.

I just feel like I'm too guileless for dating.  I don't have the slyness and cunning that it seems to take.

Either way, I wish someone had told me all of this 20 years ago, instead of the "just be yourself/there's someone for everyone/the right person will like you for you" Hallmark Channel bullshit.  Nobody told me life was still survival of the fittest, I thought that was the bad old days and that the people who were still living like that were just assholes.  The problem was, if anyone told me all these things then, I wouldn't have believed it.  It took a long time for me to realize these things, and to see the patterns around me and realize that it wasn't random.

Most of these things are vague by design, but you are still hung up on a kind of PUA-esque notion of social game which is not what it's about either. I'm not gonna get into that again.




RE: Have Not Yet Figured Out How To Find That Special Somebody - TheSkaFish - 10-08-2019

(10-08-2019, 02:06 AM)Rodent Wrote: Most of these things are vague by design, but you are still hung up on a kind of PUA-esque notion of social game which is not what it's about either. I'm not gonna get into that again.

(shrugs) fair enough.