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Life is pretty lonely. Hurting inside a lot last few days

10 am. I work till 10 get home at 12am its early for me hahaha.

Creating a sigil

Off finally for a week just going to game and eat mysekf stupid.

Pretty **** miserable.

Want to watch a movie depecting hell

Im a bit of a jerk do i want to change that not really. Just a part of me, I've come to accept it i stressed over being a jerk and would have a panic attack then lash out at my close friend.

Whats this obsession with beautiful people. Everyone is(ok not everyone ive seen some proper gremlin looking people) Im not going to focus on meeting anyone anymore. Waste of energy. It drained me and made me a bit bitter. Rather be by yourself than the wrong person.

Rainbow 6 seige. Risen 3 and control. Control feels a mix of x-files and a scp story my brother tells me about. Rainbow 6 is a sweaty game.

Im single by choice. Had load of numbers but i kinda loose intrest. If the conversations feel unnatural i move on. Feels forced i move on or if i get single word answers i move on. Im ok being single. At times it would be nice. But so would a million pounds

Lesser keys of soloman ritual wanted to contact a certian being to discuss something

Am I weird, maybe probably. Doing rituals in the new moon is fun.

Playing cod ww2 and mgs 5

I hope it comes soon im so done with everything now. I can barely breathe with

I know I'll be fine just not sure what i will expect when i do go. Im deeply connected to anubis funny enough im not sure if i ever told you bec its strange you mention this

Why was i such an idiot now my time is running out i wish i didnt push away the ones i truly loved and who gave a **** about me. Im not lonely anymore just sad i lost the ones i loved.  I wonder if there will be an after life for me. Or will anubis weigh my heart.  Who knows

Settled in the UK. Earning good money life's pretty good

Well you use your bf by living under their roof. You can't stand any of them yet you still there.  Sooo yeah

Women only go for someone when they benefit. If you don't have stuff to make them comfortable then you are nothing. Heh.

things are falling into place. I thank you anubis and father set.