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1. I was typing on my phone. Not deliberate.  2. The TV thing was a kind of angry catharsis. I'm sure the time I free up will be a benefit to me. I might learn a language, go to the gym, take some online courses. I joined Meetup but I don't have enough money to go out at the moment. Another...

I'm trying. Cutting back on all the dead weight piece by piece. I've effectively stopped watching television. I spent too much time watching TV in childhood and it messed up my social skills. Then I carried on because I didn't know any better. Shopping and looking at a screen all the time were...

ELO always cheers me up. You can't beat a bit of Jeff Lynne. 

Thought I should start a thread on music that cheers you up, puts you in a good mood. Seeing as I spend a lot of time on YouTube watching music videos.  I should start with some of the more subtle ones, I don't want to scare anyone away! Peter Gabriel-Solsbury Hill The Tornados-Telstar An...

I'll add celebrities, advertising and porn to that list. Self esteem killers and time wasters. No wonder people are unhappy.

Some of the stuff on those pick up websites about a social hierarchy of alphas and betas and omegas. It's as poisonous as Facebook and tinder for your confidence and comparing yourself. I've shut those down by the way.  Exercising. Constructive and fulfilling hobbies and relationships. All good...

You're right about using a crutch. I've used everything as a crutch since I was still at school. Spending money, alcohol, smoking, watching TV, Internet, Facebook. I guess that's the thing those 'alpha males' I obsess about don't do!

I write these things late at night when I can't sleep and I regret them. I've spent too much time going over things in my head. Things people said to me and things I overheard. Things from 5, 10, 20 years ago.   I've been reading pick up stuff on the Internet for years. Some of it's good. Ways...

A few things have happened over the last few years that have woken me up from the denial and self-delusion I was living in. In 2012 I was in my early 30s and still living with my mum at home. I had no friends or girlfriends, very little evidence I was living the life of an adult.  1. I had a...

Hope you start to find what you're looking for. You're not worthless and you're not the only one. I see a lot of myself in this. It's tough to write something like that when you're used to people being judgmental.

It's hard to escape from if it's in your home life. Hope you're OK now.

People use that as an excuse for shitty behaviour. You don't actually need to kick people when they're down to survive. All I want is to be left alone to live my own life and everyone else can live theirs. Most people have the mentality of animals.

Thanks for the encouragement. Believing in yourself is an uphill battle. People like to kick you when you're down. There's no need to. They'll say things like "That's the way the world is, it's survival". Well, no, it's not. Like they're monkeys living in the jungle and they need to kick you...

All I ever wanted was to be accepted  a normal person. Yes, I want sex and money and respect but ultimately all I ever wanted was acceptance. I've struggled to fit in my entire life. I had trouble making friends. I never had sex or kissed anyone until after I was 20 because of depression and...

Yesterday I was listening to the radio and they played Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones. The expression "losing streak" in jumped out, exactly what I'm talking about here.  I have an issue with the way people tell you that you should sort yourself out. You start to try to do that and they...

I've been for a long walk and had a good think. The thing is not so much about luck as it is about desperation and insecurity. Those feelings make you feel like dirt. You and everybody else knows it!  People can sense it. The best thing is to act on it in a good way but not to Bury it because it...

My state of mind is not good right now but you're right. There are 2 choices, something or nothing. You need someone to tell you to make it more real. I needed to unload my thoughts. I'm not a bad person but I carry these thoughts around with me all the time. They go round and round inside my...

Everybody hates you if you're depressed. You don't feel like doing anything because you feel like it's pointless and you're worthless. It's a massive black hole that sucks everything in.

I wish I had a better attitude. I've been going round and round in circles for years, it's broken me. I'm fed up with not getting anywhere and people looking down on me and being alone and unhappy deep down. Depression sucks the life out of everything.

I have come to the conclusion that everything in life is mostly about luck. Lucky people are more attractive, more liked. Unlucky people are unattractive and less liked. You had a good start. A bit of luck. You get more luck. A bad start. It goes in the opposite direction. It builds up like...