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Thanks Wallflower. Thanks Drew.

Constant Stranger "your last paragraph had many statements that seem like they could be self fulfilling prophecies that serve to keep you where you're at." The thing about PTSD is I don't deal with Stress easily. in fact you can say I don't deal with it at all at times. That is why it is Calls...

Drew According to my Shrink I have an extreme case of PTSD, I don't actually do activities alone. I don't do anything alone. What keeps me from working is Anxieties, Fear, and my over thinking things to name a few. I try to work And I have tryed and tryed to find something I can do. and I end...

Tonight I went to the dam a few miles from my house. its actually a reservoir for a larger dam. anyway I layed in the bed of my truck and looked up at the stars, and listen to the rushing water flowing from the dam. So much lately has been getting to me, I feel more Alone now then I have in my...

I am right with you... Just hang in

For me That is a question I ponder a lot. I guess it be my hobbies. Working on my truck, Driving my truck even if its just down the road and back, the diesel engine seems to help me feel better.. Um My dog seems to make me give him a lot of attention. and also music depending on my mood depends...

Well we have had a some what kind of talk. Well I have told her I would never touch her, ever the other day. and I made that clear to her. Her response was well see.. but we did talk tonight. and i kind of hinted around about things trying to feel her out and if this is just a game or a defense...

Within the last week or so, we moved my little cousin in with us, mostly because she needed a safe place to go, as her life has been a tragic one like mine. I fear she may have PTSD like me, altho not as extreme, I fear she has it.  But since she has been here, She has made me realize just how...

The only thing in my life I have figured out, is I have nothing Figured out. Everything falls apart, And Yet I keep managing to fight through it. I tell myself I want to change I want to be someone new, I want a new persona, and New personality, a New life in a way. But cold hard truth is This...

I find that What I thought were better Dreams than reality, is Really a Cruel way of me knowing that My Dreams became a reflection of my own reality, So I get no comfort from either, A Dream or my miserable Reality of a wasted life. I stopped Dreaming for the most part, I find it is the only...

Ive been suicidal since i was 12. at one point they did fade and I thought i was past it. but it wasn't to last. but I take each day as it comes and treat it like a new adventure.

Inspiring, Makes me want to write about my life story. WallFlower, I agree with Dead. It was a beautiful post, and your a beautiful Person thanks for sharing. As to why I am here, Loneliness, and Depression, keep me one knot from suicide. I guess Being here helps to know I am not alone in my...

yeah i guess. eventually

Yeah it aint easy.

LOl sometimes complaining helps us get motivated to do it. we get sick of complaining and eventually do something about it. ;) I have had that happen to me actually, by a crazy woman lol. Um well let see I thought she was older than what she was. so that kind of just really made me feel old...

I'm still knew to this forum and I really don't get on much, But I'm still trying to make friends. but I can tell ya everyone I have talk to is Nice and supportive and It is a welcome relief sometimes. but that is not to say I haven't made friends on here.

Back from the date or whatever you want to call it. I guess in a way It was great to have a conversation with someone. to just enjoy someones company for a little while. I had fun But I also felt like maybe I was grasping as straws. I just can't explain it.. so the night wasn't a total bust it...

Thanks Littlefish. Richard hang in man you will find someone.

I wish there was a like button lol.... LIKE ^

Just an Update. I guess this birthday isn't going to be as bad as I thought. I actually have a Dinner date tonight with someone. So we will see how it goes.