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Hey Michaelf! Welcome. I am very sorry you are going through this. I can tell by your words you are in quite a rut. Many people find it very uplifting spiritually when they volunteer somewhere. Have you considered doing something like that? Perhaps there is a homeless shelter or an animal...

Welcome. You always have friends here! This might seem like a weird idea, but hey, what have you go to lose...Have you considered volunteering somewhere near your college during your free time? Maybe an animal shelter...or a thrift shop? The good thing about volunteering is no one expects...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I can tell you are really down by the words in your post. You mentioned you do AA meetings and therapy. Can I suggest something that might seem a little odd since it is a little different? Have you considered volunteering somewhere, like maybe a thrift...