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I've been absent on this forum for for two and a half or three years but I think now I'll go active again . The issues that brought me here nine years ago are all changed .....a few problems are gone but I'm still a lonely guy. I see a lot of members new to me and a few familiar names...

I said a last goodbye to a friend yesterday.  He is stricken by ALS, has declined rapidly for more than a year and he's welcoming the end of his life. He's in his late 70's and has a good family support network.  I know him through the volunteer master gardener movement; he welcomed me when i...

I buried my mother today.  I planned a minimalist graveside ceremony and by golly, it went pretty well.  Five neighbors from the village and eight of her friends showed up on a bitterly cold day and we said goodbye.  I spoke a brief eulogy praising her better attributes through life and omitted...

My 94 yr old mood disordered mother is now in hospice care and how long she will live is anyone's guess.  I've been looking after her in one way or another for 60 years and sacrificed a lot of my life doing it. When she's gone (an event I have looked forward to for years) a big part of my...

Firefox is telling me that A Lonely Life is no longer a secure place to be online......what's up with that, please?

How likely is it that secure, seemingly contented, socially functional and logistically successful people will like and care about someone with poor self esteem?  I'm thinking about  otherwise reasonably functional people who struggle with low self esteem.

I'm not looking for any answers here, just ventilating the pressures that build inexorably day after day living with my 93 year old, always depressed mother.  I'm weary of hearing her hacking cough and noisily hawking up then spitting out mucous.  I'm weary of emptying the bins of tissues she...

I only have one significant social relationship, with a lady whose social life is way, way more successful than mine. She's a retired school principal in a smallish town.....she knows tons of people, her social skills and comfort level are in a league that I'll never know. Her activities and...

I'm 63 years old and I've lived with my mother the last 15 years since dad died, (..good riddance!..) and I sold my own house. I've never married and I think about the past every day, dwelling on past mistakes and feeling disgust, anger and depressed that I've lived so long and not enjoyed much...

I'm 62 years old and haven't been in a man/woman relationship for 3 decades. There were lots of reasons but the only one that really matters is I didn't enjoy being around any women.....it wasn't a gender identity thing, I was just a straight guy who didn't like women. Any women. It was a...

I'm 62 and I've been living with my mother for the fourteen years since Dad died. May the self righteous, holier than thou, condescending epitome of hypocrisy receive his just rewards begging for mercy in hell. I walked in on a suicide gesture when I was 5....Mom was out on a ledge and Dad was...

How did you arrive at your username? I borrowed mine from a Joni Mitchell song.

I struggle against the expectation of inevitable misfortune. That no matter what I do, something bad will manifest itself. Been like that all my life. The term self fulfilling prophecy occurs to me, also victim mentality. Fair enough, so I think ahead, learn from my mistakes, try to do...

OK, I'm used to being lonely. I've been lonely surrounded by people and lonely when I'm alone. I'm entirely accustomed to seeing movies alone, and walking alone in parks and country roads. I don't hesitate to dine out alone and bring a book to read while I'm at the table.....although I always...

I lurk on this site every day and comment on other peoples' posts occasionally, but it's only fair that I contribute too. My only functional social contacts are the university extension master gardener group, and my place with them seems a little problematic.......by my own making it so. Last...

OK this probably isn't that big of a deal to a lot of people, but I dread speaking to groups in an organized, preplanned context.....if I'm asked about a subject I'm fond of, spontaneously, no problem. But when there's a scheduled event, a date to anticipate and prepare for, I am agonized as...

What personal trait, skill or attribute is your most effective asset and what's your least effective? For my part, unless I'm fooling myself, I'm ready to enlist in the group effort: on the job, in the neighborhood, the family. One word? I think I'm loyal. My least advantageous trait is I'm...

I do not come to this forum in crisis, but rather in a state of monotonous gloom. I'm functional: a caregiver of my 89 yr old widowed mother; a steward of our rural property; an active member of my church; an active volunteer with the county cooperative extension service; a middle aged bachelor...