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The mirror
#1
Recently when looking in the mirror I realized how much time has past. I am older looking; I started to feel a roller coaster of emotions. Not sure the person in the mirror is even me. I don’t remember looking so weathered. I know I have been through a lot; still in the storm. I don’t like what a see. I know I want to change, but where do I start and how do I know I am going in the right direction. I am olde, I don’t feel wise I just feel more confused about life. I looked in the mirror I don’t seem my physical reflection, just my soul.
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#2
Why do you think you feel like that when looking at yourself?
When you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags
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#3
If it's change you want, you already know where to start- just have to overcome whatever it is within yourself that is stopping you. Personally, I don't think there are any "right directions", just pure luck. 
And NEVER listen to "success stories" (not referring to anything on this site but the ones in life in general), %&$#'n "inspirational" $%#holes don't do a single %&$#'n thing different than anyone else. It all really just boils down to sheer dumb luck if you ask me.

I don't mean that as an excuse for whatever behaviors, I just don't think people should beat themselves up if stuff isn't working out (whatever their definition of that may be).
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#4
Let me offer an opposing and much more optimistic perspective Lostsoul2.  

I'll start by asking whether it seems more rational to listen to people struggling through life with no sense of purpose, or to those who manage life well with a sense of purpose?  One path suggests that we're all evolutionary accidents with our lives dictated by luck, while the other path suggests that there is a creator who made us with free will to make decisions that affect our lives.  Sure, there appears to be chance events occuring around us each day, but to conclude that there is no right or wrong decisions to make or no right or wrong direction in life to pursue is a depressing position that fortunately is entirely wrong.

The questions and concerns you ponder about life while looking in the mirror are appropriate and common.  As we grow older, some people mature enough and think deeply enough to care about such things, while too many others just seek daily happiness with shallow worldly activities.  I compliment you for seeking a deeper truth about yourself and your life.  I could share much about this, but let me start with one video that I think applies to your situation.  It's a Christian sermon, but a short half hour one that you should find  interesting, entertaining, and maybe... inspirational.

https://youtu.be/KdLmOq048NM
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