Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Hello all,
Just discovered this forum and thought I should join. I'm female, from Europe and nearly 40.

Nearly 40! Those words just send shivers down my spine. I'm nearly 40 and I am typing this in my bedroom, the same bedroom I have had for nearly 40 years.

My life story - I was the tall kid at school, known for being too tall for a girl, who no one liked unless they needed someone to get something off a high shelf. An average student, very polite, but no clue about the world outside school or home. Always wearing the regulation school uniform, and well behaved.

I studied hard, did well at Uni, managed to get a good job, and made plans for my future. This consisted of a little house, with a little garden, and a pet dog.

Then both my parents became ill, one after the other. They both retired early as a result and I helped out financially until their pensions were released. It meant that I never 'left' home. I felt proud at the time, because I was helping my parents. Now I feel like a burden to them.

I am not pretty, as I was frequently told by my classmates and a couple of mean teachers. I thought that by working hard I could carve out a successful career and live a content and independent life. I was happy enough. Some thought I was gay because I believe in gay rights and didnt have a regular boyfriend. Im not bothered if people think I am gay, I am more bothered that being gay is still thought of as an issue.

Nothing I do or am is ever 'right'. I would speak and help anyone when I was at work. I felt that if you work in the same building then you are my colleague and I would automatically 'look out' for you. But other people thought that the cleaning officer was chatting me up, or I was making a play for promotion because I dared to talk to the MD. If I wore flat shoes, I wasnt girly enough. If I wore trousers I was too masculine. If I wore dress, it was suggested that I was trying to impress someone. Cant win. Such a mundane thing, yet even my clothes were not right. Dont let's get started on my well below average looks! Height of a model, looks like the back end of bus after a crash. I would like to think I had a nice personally. Beauty is only skin deep - but it is what many people cant seem to see past me - unless they need something stored on a high shelf.

I was made redundant 2 years ago and have virtually used up all my savings. My parents have been brilliant, but I still feel like a loser. Thankfully they both got better, but instead of enjoying their retirement, they now have me to cope with.

I worked out at an early stage that I wasnt going to have it all. So I figured I'd work towards at good career and I would be happy with that. I am a workaholic and hated it when people would say to me there is more to life than work. For some that may be the case, but not for all, not for me. I loved working, having a reason to get up every morning, being useful to society.

It turns out that I focused everything towards my career, but now Im left with nothing. No career, no future, all my hopes and dreams gone. I didnt mind the fact that I have few friends, no long term relationship or kids, as I had my career. I feel strangely cheated now. As I said I knew I coudnt have it all, I just wanted what I worked for.

My Dad keeps saying that I have my health and 2 parents to support. Neither of them know I have been battling with depression from since I was a teenager. The one thing in my life that made me happy - or at least made life bearable - my work - has gone. So I ask myself what is the point of me? What role do I have? Apart from fetching items from high shelves.

Im nearly 40, no job, no future, no relationship, no kids, not many friends, no hope. Still living with my parents. Oh and I am now overweight, being constantly teased by my Aunts how fat Im becoming living off my parents. The fact that I have refused any financial help from my parents and contribute to the household expenses doesnt seem to make a difference.

I spend my days job searching and selling off my things to make money.

I know in the great scheme of things I do have very little to worry about compared with loads of other people. Knowing that doesnt help when I cry myself to sleep every night, and waking up disappointed, because I woke up.

Well that's my story. Pretty short and very pathetic.

BTW if you know of any jobs, please let me know. I have many qualifications and nearly 4 decades experience of bean pole replacement techniques. I'm particularly skilled in high shelf item retrival.

Hey, Nemo. Welcome.
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
(04-01-2012, 11:36 AM)EveWasFramed Wrote: Hey, Nemo. Welcome.

Hello Eve,
Thank you, nice to meet you.

Welcome to the Forum Nemo Smile
"There is no hell. There is only France." - Frank Zappa
I know what it's like to have your life put on hold due to unemployment. Welcome to ALL, Nemo.
Hello Nemo, welcome to you. I hope you can find your way to a positive future..
(04-01-2012, 05:14 PM)Pezza Wrote: Welcome to the Forum Nemo Smile

Hello Pezza. Nice to meet you. Thank you for your message.
(04-01-2012, 05:19 PM)flaneur Wrote: I know what it's like to have your life put on hold due to unemployment. Welcome to ALL, Nemo.
Hello Flaneur, thanks for the welcome. Sorry to hear that you are in the same boat as me. Hope all is well now or soon.

(04-01-2012, 05:43 PM)fox Wrote: Hello Nemo, welcome to you. I hope you can find your way to a positive future..
Hello Fox, thank you for your kind words.

Hi Smile
(04-01-2012, 09:32 PM)Callie Wrote: Hi Smile

Hello Smile

Hey Nemo, welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear you got layed off, I guess this is why people say there's more to life than work, to try and avoid situations like these. Not that that helps you in any way ofcourse. On the positive side, you've got a lot of experience, a degree and you're still young, maybe there's other jobs out there that have your name all over them! I do hope you'll find one of those soon Smile

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy your stay here. Feel free to PM or to join the chat if there's ever something on your mind that you just have to share with someone. In the meantime, do take care. See you around Smile
Je ne suis ni dieu ni démon,
Et tu m'as nommé par mon nom
Quand tu m'as appelé ton frère ;
Où tu vas, j'y serai toujours,
Jusques au dernier de tes jours,
Où j'irai m'asseoir sur ta pierre.

Forum Jump:

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)