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Perhaps a smile
#11
Some interesting posts here. Smile

My base problem is the fact that due to insufficient puberty I've always looked a little younger (I have said this on other posts, but this is for those of you who haven't read them). I understand that a woman in her 30s might not be sexually attracted to a man who only looks like a scrawny teenager. But should it matter when it comes to friendship?
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#12
No, I don’t think it matters at all when it comes to friendship. At least not to me.
Hmm. Hard to explain what makes me fit another in a friendship way.
Wish I had better insight in what’s going on inside my brain.
I need a stronger mind for that. 😏
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#13
(01-10-2019, 06:14 PM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: Some interesting posts here. Smile

My base problem is the fact that due to insufficient puberty I've always looked a little younger (I have said this on other posts, but this is for those of you who haven't read them).  I understand that a woman in her 30s might not be sexually attracted to a man who only looks like a scrawny teenager.  But should it matter when it comes to friendship?



I have an overweight female friend.  She has been twice divorced, and lives alone. 
She very much wants to meet a suitable man and marry again.
She has dated conventionally, and also used dating sites.
Unfortunately, she has had no success and began to blame it upon herself, particularly being 
overweight.

She happens to belong to a very large family oriented church, and I once asked whether
or not her church ever organizes events to get single people together.  She said yes, she had tried that once.
I asked, "so, how did it go?"
With uncommon contempt in her voice she said, "There is a reason why all those guys are single"

I sent her an email a few days later, with a link.  There happens to be a social group in our area
that is explicitly dedicated for "Big Beautiful Women and the Men Who Love Them"

Her reply?   "I'm not interested in dating fat men"

She completely, totally did not get it.  

It is likely very true that many women buy into the idea that they have to look like 
the magazines in order to get men.    Certainly they can see living proof that packs of
men chase after the women who do match some of those standards.  

What they seem to want to ignore is that there are niche attractions.
There is a fan club of men for every single female body type in existence.

But that is not good enough.   I don't want those creeps, I want Mister Bad Boy Charming
and nothing less is sufficient.

So, why say this here?  Sometimes loneliness is self-imposed.

For all of time, men have been inventing ways to overcome their limits.
Most of us are not going to be handsome or athletic, so instead we compete 
to be funny, or smart, or rich.

Or, if I had my way, it would be legal and economical for you to just go 
hire a prostitute and be done with it all.
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#14
Oh yay, another "omg, the bad boys get everything" person.   You know why they get the girls?  Because they are confident.  They don't go around with a negative outlook blaming everything wrong on other people.  They don't go around thinking they are losers or whatever else those who are not "bad boys" think.  They get the girls because they see what they want and go after it, instead of sitting around trying to figure out why everyone else gets what they want. 

As for your overweight friend, did you ever consider that maybe SHE is part of the reason she has no partner and her previous relationships failed?  Perhaps she's not happy with herself.  Perhaps she displays a negative vibe onto others because of how she feels about herself.  And you can come back at me and say "No, she doesn't think that way about herself, I know she doesn't." But you don't know, only SHE knows, only SHE knows what lies deep inside, most likely something that she doesn't want other people to know.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 
[Image: 68694043_2341967022788228_46455155003665...Ng%3D%3D.2]
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#15
By nature women have to preserve their inherent value while men gain value from their experiences. 
Trying to normalize the two by telling both women and men that they are valuable no matter what creates a distorted reality for both of them. That is why "nice guys" fail. They are weak and aren't genuine. They are feminine "men". 
Chaos is feminine and Order is masculine. Women look for authority and security, orderly traits, and men look for chaotic traits.
Anyway, what you said reminded me of this. I think to not be knowledgeable of these things will only lead to disappointment and confusion.
Happiness is a false God.
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#16
(01-10-2019, 06:32 PM)Jessicat Wrote: No, I don’t think it matters at all when it comes to friendship. At least not to me.
Hmm. Hard to explain what makes me fit another in a friendship way.
Wish I had better insight in what’s going on inside my brain.
I need a stronger mind for that. 😏


Insight is elusive.

An interesting film was made that featured an unhappily married attorney.
He has become successful as a defense attorney in criminal cases.

He is having an affair, and considering ways to get rid of his wife.

During most of the film, he performs a debate with himself.

Through trick photography, we see him standing in the same room with himself.

His normal self, the slick attorney, and another man, himself, but now a government prosecutor.

He debates in a long and interesting fashion.

There is a nice surprise twist ending.  


That takes my memory to a very different film about self knowledge.

In this case, a rather common man lives a rather drab lower class life.
He sees an ad for a paid drug study, a medication that will supposedly lift people like
himself out of mediocrity.

He signs up and is accepted.   As he takes the pills, he begins to notice
surprising changes.  During one of the frequent visits to the doctor, he suddenly 
realizes that he can read the doctor's mind!

His whole internal dialog changes. He develops more of these
"superpowers" and convinces himself that he is obligated to use them
to help society.

Is he deluded, or seeing his true self at last?

I won't spoil the end for you.
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#17
What kind if movie is that? Sounds interesting.


Insight is elusive? Oh yes. 
Wish I could see myself as easy as others do.
And sometimes I start to think that maybe what I think isn’t the truth. 
Scared that I somehow are living a lie, fooling myself.
But.. the truth as I know it... that’s where it’s at. ❤️
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