Lonely

I'm afraid of meeting people too. I see myself as dull and inferior which causes anxiety and negative thoughts in social situations. This is especially so with women I'm attracted to since I feel I need to impress them.

Why are you so scared of people? That's something only you can answer. What was going on in your head when you were in the parking lot of the AA meeting contemplating whether to go in or not? There has to be some sort of thought process you go through that is causing this. For me, I feel like everyone is judging me and a lot of times I have nothing to contribute to the conversation so I also feel dull.

One way I learn to overcome the fear is to stop caring about everything. I have nothing to lose at this point. What's the worst that can possibly happen? Everyone in the room points and laughs at me? If that were to happen, I'm okay with it because all the people laughing mean nothing to me. They have no significance in my life whatsoever. And guess what? Nobody is flawless. Sure, I want to be accepted by people but if it doesn't happen today, I always have new people to try tomorrow. So next time you're in the AA parking lot, stop caring about everything else in the world. You have nothing to lose but a lot to gain. At the end of the night if you still have nothing, then you didn't lose anything. So just walk in there, don't even think about it once your feet are moving, keep walking and tell them what's on your mind.

Thanks brass monkey I will try that........because I know deep in my heart if i dont get sober I am going to die....my mom was a drunk and I told myself I would never turn out like her...........but I did and I am so ashame of myself.............I am so tired of being lonely and drunk all the time................I am just going to walk in there and tell myself what you said..........

I drank to escape from emotional pain for 10 years and dare not touch it again. For a time I was agoraphobic. I still experience some social anxiety especially in unstructured situations. I fear the sorts of questions people will ask so I become the interviewer so they won't question me.
Sorry this was not a helpful answer to your question.

AlonelyCrumpet said:

I am so lonely.......I am 46 years old and still afraid of meeting people..........I just stay in my apartment and drink......I tried going to a AA meeting twice last week and both times only made it to the parking lot. Is this who I am? Should I just accept that God had this in his plan for me?? Why am I so scared of people?
When I was 19 I felt the same way but alway thought it would pass........but it has not pass. Is life even worth it anymore?

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If that's God's plan for you, I highly suggest Satanism.

Maybe I will switch to Satanism,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,buy a gun and kill as many people that i can find,,,,,,,,that would please Satan...................thank you for opening up my eyes..........

HI AlonelyCrumpet. Firstly you should not feel ashamed of yourself. Everyone struggles with things. To what I can see you have not hurt anyone.
Maybe you could Emal someone at the AA meeting and explain that you get to the parking lot and that's it. Maybe someone there might wait for you in the parking lot? I don't know but they might have some ideas on what to do. Or even better try and call someone there.

If you don't make it all the way in then at lest you got half way there. That's Something right? Better than just staying in your apartment?
Next time you might even make it out the car to the door. That fact that you even got to the parking lot is a big deal and something you should be proud of yourself for. This is even something that you may be telling someone else one day with the same problem as you have now.

What ever you do do keep trying. You well get there in the end.