Rant! (Really long post)

I don't really rant, but I don't know what to say or where to start so, whatever.

..........

I'm frustrated, not only because I'm alone but because I want an intimate relationship with someone. I don't go anywhere without my father because I never got a driver's licence (I have issues with driving).

So we go everywhere.

I don't really know how to explain this but I'll try....

We'll be out and I'll see some girl my age (18-28 range) that I think I could like and I'm kind of picky. I'll be checking her out and then I'll notice my Dad checking her out too. After that it completely ruins it for me. How could I possibly go ask her out when he's doing that! He's 55 and it's creeping me out. I can only imagine how she feels.

And I think about it. There's two guys standing around checking some chick out and their father and son. *cringe*...... Look, I'm close to my Dad, but not that close!

I hate it and I've said things but he doesn't care.... he doesn't even take me seriously! So I give up before I've even started.

I've started to gravitate towards girls I know he doesn't have an interest in. For instance I know he hates Tattoos so somewhere, somehow, I don't even know when, I found myself attracted to girls with lots of tattoos! And it happened suddenly, like just one day I was like "Wow..... Hot Tattoos!" and then..... "Wait..... What?!?!?". Not like scanky chicks, still classy and cute in a way, but tattooed.

That's just an example.

I know if I could find a way to go somewhere without him I'd be completely different. I'm looking at confidence in a completely different way now and I know I wouldn't have a problem if he wasn't there.

I know he's not into stealing girls from other guys so I don't have to worry about that..... but I wonder if I were to successfully pick up a girl..... like the first one I mentiond, would he always be ogling her? It weirds me out to think that I might have a GF that my Dad would always be watching in that "I'm attracted to you" way. I'm very uncomfortable with the idea.

Like I said.... I've already talked to him about it. He says "Anything above the legal age limit is fair game."

I get so uncomfortable that I won't even look at girls that I know he would/is checking out too.

I wouldn't mind if I already has GF but it's like I have to compete with him. And he's the last person I want to compete with. I'm extremely competitive! You can't even begin to imagine. You wouldn't notice it by looking at me or even by getting to know me but I am. I can't let it go there...... EVER! Never can I consider my own Dad a threat! In any capacity! It's why we don't play video game together very much.

I just want a relationship. It's not even about sex that much anymore. I just want to be close to someone. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to "pop the cherry" but not in a capacity where I'm someone's or a long line of lot's of someone's bad fresia until I get good at it.

Rather I'd like someone with the patience and understanding to.... usher me into it at a rate where we in essence get to know eachother's bodies and well, you get the point.

Respectively I don't want to marry the firs person I sleep with either. I'd like to sleep with more than one person and all that.

(god I sound like a woman, I hate being emotional)

It's like a sickness. I think people see it different and fantasise about "What if I could tell what other people are thinking or feeling?"..... well it's not fantasy for me. It's reality and I hate it. I feel everything, even over the internet. It's painful! It's not like I read minds, but I feel things very deeply. People have accused me of reading their minds, but I don't.

There's nothing mystical or sci-fi about it. It's just an understanding on a level that's difficult to explain.

And so I feel things, that's all, it's actually really simple and down to earth.

But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Anyway this is getting really long and I'm starting to sound like I'm just complaining for the sake of it so I'm going to stop.

what sort of issue do you have with driving that you cant get your license?

Boss Jr. said:

We'll be out and I'll see some girl my age (18-28 range) that I think I could like and I'm kind of picky. I'll be checking her out and then I'll notice my Dad checking her out too. After that it completely ruins it for me. How could I possibly go ask her out when he's doing that! He's 55 and it's creeping me out. I can only imagine how she feels.

Click to expand...

Just because your dad is checking out the same girl as you doesn't mean that he wants a 3-way with the two of you. For crying out loud, he's a MAN. MEN LOOK AT WOMEN. It's that simple. It's not like he's trying to encroach upon your "turf."

My dad is about 70 and he still tries to flirt with checkout girls. That's just how dudes are. The reason your dad doesn't understand your concerns is because to him it seems normal. Actually, it seems pretty normal to me also. Guys will be guys.

I suggest you chill a bit about this. Honestly, if my dad was checking out the girl I was interested in, I'd be thinking, "Well ****, she IS hot, isn't she?"

Boss Jr. said:

I know he's not into stealing girls from other guys so I don't have to worry about that..... but I wonder if I were to successfully pick up a girl..... like the first one I mentiond, would he always be ogling her? It weirds me out to think that I might have a GF that my Dad would always be watching in that "I'm attracted to you" way. I'm very uncomfortable with the idea.

Click to expand...

Maybe at first he'd be like that... but I strongly suspect that more and more as the girl spent time with you, your father would begin to see her as a daughter, and so he wouldn't really be attracted to her that way anymore.

But I'm sure that if she's pretty, he'd still appreciate her physical beauty. There's nothing wrong with that. Again, it's just how guys are. If you can't deal with that, then I really don't know what else to tell you!

Boss Jr. said:

I wouldn't mind if I already has GF but it's like I have to compete with him. And he's the last person I want to compete with. I'm extremely competitive! You can't even begin to imagine. You wouldn't notice it by looking at me or even by getting to know me but I am. I can't let it go there...... EVER! Never can I consider my own Dad a threat! In any capacity! It's why we don't play video game together very much.

Click to expand...

No insult, but the behavior you're describing isn't competitiveness, it's defensiveness. Like a tiny little doggy barking at everything that comes near its yard. No offense, but really... it sounds like you're trying to defend what little territory you feel is left to you... trying to regain control of those things in your life that you can.

Consequently, you see even mundane things as a "threat" when in reality they're just simple realities of this world. Your father, for instance. There's really no reason to get so worked up about this unless he is ACTUALLY ACTIVELY, AGGRESSIVELY HITTING ON the women you talk to.

My advice would be to step back a minute, spend some time out without daddy, and CHILL OUT. None of this is really a huge deal or something that you can't get past. Just don't work it up in your mind to the point where it becomes a stumbling block for your life.

I agree with most of the points that BJD brought up.

I can relate to your situation...well, to some extent.

One of my relatives that I spend a lot of time with - as I have no one else - enjoys reminding me that she is far more attractive than me and will flirt (very aggressively) around men my age even though she admits she has no genuine interest men in younger men and never will.
I find that I can't be myself around her because she'll laugh and point out that I'm either: awkward, fail at flirting or embarrass me in some shape or form as she has done publicly before.

There was that *one* time where someone my age at a party had asked about me, and she started flirting with him and told him to stay away from me.
She then started talking about how my over-protective family would kill him should he even think of taking me out; how apparently I do not want a boyfriend etc. and other things which humiliated me enough to not even be able to muster up the courage to talk to him after that.

I WILL TELL YOU NOW...

Being able to drive yourself...is so much better.
Even if you manage to land a date; how are you going to travel?
Buses have their limits and even other transportation methods such as biking, walking etc.

I was scared of driving and was not serious about learning how to drive until this year...at 20 years old.
I failed my Driver Education Course along with my Drivers Test and have spent over $1,000.
However, I got over my fear and got my license this February.
Now, I get a lot of compliments about my driving and believe me...getting away from my relative has given me a new-found sense of independence.

YOU. NEED. TO. LEARN.

I'm not kidding you.
I honestly felt like a child constantly needing her for transportation, and having her pretty much be a BOX-BLOCK 24/7.
(Translation: In man-speak, it is the female equivalent of the dreaded COCK-BLOCK.)

And I will admit, I wouldn't want a father and son both eying me down upon the first meeting.

He is going to look regardless - men look.
In fact, he may either:
A) Grow feelings for her as if she is a daughter
B) Think of her sexIn3ss only when he sees her
C) Dream about sexing her up every night
...and so forth...

IMO, I wouldn't worry about it too much unless he starts advancing on YOUR WIMMENS; that, or both he and your girl start checking each other out.
If it's just one-sided, then he isn't a threat if that girl is interested in you either way.

(On the same token, I also find myself looking at men that aren't giving my aunt, mother or grandma the *candy-eyes*)

But really...you've got to spend less time with daddy and get out on your own more.
I think that should be your first step along with building up your confidence.
If someone like me can do it, so can you.

I hope my sob story will provide some motivation for you.

Lol Luna, Wimmenz.

Man, you need to get away from your dad and be able to get yourself around. Like Luna said, Buses and Bikes are limited, but at least get a bus pass and a bicycle. In some areas you can go a surprising number of places with just those two things.

But you gotta be independent or your basically still a kid, especially in the eyes of someone you've just met.

Hm okay. (1) Sounding like a woman and being emotional isn't something negative and (2) being emotional isn't sounding like a woman.

You should really try to get the driving license, though. If not, don't you have buses and stuff to transport by? Does it have to be a car?

And yeah, as someone said above, a bike could be a good idea.