trapped in neverneverland

hi my names alex
i have been a loner like always, people always talk crap at me because they new i was real shy so they had fun wit it, even in kindergarden
and now im here in this house and this chunk of land on the beach, trapped with my ffffffather, and no one says a word, fresia u i hate you, u suck,
thats whats going on in our heads

there is no cure for me and my diasbility to feel how others live their life fast while mine is so horibly slowwwwowow no emotion that can desricbe this deep crap that so deep inside my body, at times feels like its goina last forever,
but i dont want to complain, who said life is guaranteed and love, nobody said that and nobody can guaruantee it, if u fresia up , thats your story and its your way it fucks up

i just want to be free of this fear of what could be and what ifs and dam if i lose him or her and so and so on and son it doesnt stop, fear can be eternal sometimes and it can fresia u up, but wit time i guess it gets better
i cant think of anything else to say because my life is wasting away

Hi Alex. Welcome to ALL

wow what nice teddy, so warm thank u

Hi Alex. there was parts of your post that confused me a bit but that's maybe cos your a bit confused right now as well.

One of the things I did get through is that ppl take the mick out of you cos your shy.

I had ppl at school bully me. Not cos I was shy but cos I walked funny.
For what ever the reason the bullying dose the same thing. It makes you feel worthless and really dose take your confidence away from you.

The only advice I could possibly give you is to tell you what I wish I had done back then. And that is to tell the world.
Anyone that well listen, tell. Don't keep bulling to yourself.

You well not be there forever tho. Life moves much faster then you think. what ever you do try and not get to down about it.
I take it by you posting this on Sunday night that you are all ready dreading school tomorrow?
Used to be about the time I would start to think about it as well.

I could never tell family anything and I guss am still like that. All though there is something i have to tell me mum that I really am going for her to need to understand. But anyway if there is anyone in your life that you could talk things thru with like a teacher or anyone really that would be a good move I think.

how old are u? yea they also tell me i walk weird, like im a cripple, i dont care, really i get my own ways to cheer me up. the world today is too confused, it cant handle so many people at once, and many more coming, so there has to be some kind of solution to this problem, and not the final solution

alex85 said:

how old are u? yea they also tell me i walk weird, like im a cripple, i dont care, really i get my own ways to cheer me up. the world today is too confused, it cant handle so many people at once, and many more coming, so there has to be some kind of solution to this problem, and not the final solution

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I am 35. And I should mind my manners cos I never welcomed you
Welcome here btw

There is a lot of different ppl in the world ye. That should not give other ppl a reason to take fun out of you tho. Or anyone else.
Everyone is different one way or another.

Black white, ginger. sporty, fat, disabled. To many many different reasons for other ppl to take the mick and its never necessary. End of the day its all an accuses for some one to bully another.

Bottom line is its wrong to make another feel like you do right now and there is never a good reason to do that.

ppl being different is what makes the world so amazing. You well learn that along with all the other creeps that are bulling you.

I was also called a cripple and a spack and they would make spako sounds as well as the pushing me to the flow.

You should not have to put up with that. Is there anyone at all that you could tell that might be able to help you?

i just wana live my life u kno, fresia these problems they dont realy exist but people make u want to exist them. at the end of the day, when u think , man ive wasted so much, ive wasted so many people, that honeysuckle folows u everywher even when u talk to them straight in the eye, u have no more pride, nothing

alex85 said:

i just wana live my life u kno, fresia these problems they dont realy exist but people make u want to exist them. at the end of the day, when u think , man ive wasted so much, ive wasted so many people, that honeysuckle folows u everywher even when u talk to them straight in the eye, u have no more pride, nothing

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Ye i know... You really need to talk to a teacher you know.
Is there anyone yo could do that with?

no i dont go to elementery , i am studying

alex85 said:

no i dont go to elementery , i am studying

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how old you then.
And you have to forgive my late replies here as am doing about a million things at once here lol

24, my lifestyles lame, like its fuckin lame, everday routine of no social interaction zero, no eye contact time , somethings wrong with my head i guess, i only have this laptop and the thrill of this is fading

Mate. Don't think you have wasted your life. I have thought that but you can not look to the past like that. The past is the past and it makes us what we are. But you have to look to the future.

Is it just that you feel you are to shy to make friends?
What do you think would help to deal with the ppl that do your head in?
I would be interested to know where you live. Just your country.

Honestly you seem like a friendly fella with just a little confidence problem. That's hardly surprising since you have been bullied a bit in life.
That well get better the older you get.

mate its late here and am sleepy. So I must abide you goodbye for now.
Feel free to PM me any time you like. You seem like a cool guy.

i live in greece and everyones loud here, i am new to this place, i cant be loud because i been living in germany all my life, and now im here , since 2 months and bored as hell, what can i tell u life sucks

Hello

hey nerdy girl, whazzap