Each time i fail to complete the masters work...i keep thinking of suicide

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ghostly..theroadhome

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i feel very sick in my tummy, my head feels dizzy...i feel confused

need sumone to help me ... breaking down again

my mom has been really going at me since the weekend since i was positive and things were going well

She keeps threatening that people who do wrong will fail, with the implication that im doing wrong when im not.
the anger is coming out of her. like she's trying to say i wont succeed because i done wrong by her, and didnt do what she wants....she's kind of trying to psyche me out that i might think im doing well but i wont ...when i was (she's calling down all this superstituous bad luck and god, for past few days). the tone of her voice is bitter and anger. she wants to get some retribution out of seeing me not do well

ive never done anything wrong only study, and thats wrong by her

and tbh, i feel like cutting myself or suicidal, cos she's making me stop working again, and sections in my work have droped to jibberish.

please help, cos at this moment im really trying hard to think of ways i can escape this situation, id rather die....she's lectured me since last wed/thurs. repeating this and saying it with a '''oh you get it, ill make sure of it'''' and sniggering when she puts me down and sniggers when she sees me going down again....

saying things like, an academic is no better than a binman etc. making me feel worthless

i really need someone stronger to help me, with her

its blocking my ability to completely focus, cos she's making me fear that im not going to complete, im cutting out again and writing fragmentedly
 
GET THE fresia AWAY FROM HER.

#19
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Perhaps your mom is trying to live out what she wanted, or still wants, her life to be through you. It's just like those parents who put their kids in competitive beauty pageants. A majority of those little kids either don't know what's going on, or don't even want to be there. They cry and cry, but their parents never listen.

I'm not going to suggest you sit down with her and talk to her about it, because it seems to me she's somewhat irrational about what you want to do with your life. In reality, all she should be doing is trying her best to support you, and realize that she can't control what others do.
 
mmmm...
It's very unhealthy as you're experincing. It's not the easiest thing in the world
becuase I was pretty much raised by a person with that sametype of mentallity.
Whatever mistakes, sucess or failures, I made was never good enough for my father.
Over they years it messed up my self esteem.

It also develope other unhealthy traits...such as not doing anything
becuase if I don't do anything, I can't fail or make mistakes. This worked
for a while...so my father would just STFU!
But my father would *****, redicue me never the less.

However to develope or habits of doing this (do nothing) is not very productive
or healthy for me.

If you do some reserch of very successful people , you will know that all sucessful people
failed and failed again and again. It is through failures that people succeed.
They make necessery recorrective actions from thier mistakes or dial in/fine tune whatever subject
they are trying to accomplish. It's a part of the process or growth.

Yeah basically I ignore my father....easier said than done but I'm getting better at it.
My worth as a person no longer hinges on how my father thinks or say to me.
It's re programing myself or re parenting myself.
It's kind of like I'm under hypnotic was hypnoticed by my father.
 
Sounds like your mom's a miserable psychotic *****... :-\

I would get in touch with a counsellor at your school, or a guidance counsellor in Student Services.

Don't hold back details out of some sense of loyalty to your mom, or in an attempt to spare humiliating her behind her back. It's important that they understand the full scale of the situation.

From there you will likely be given information, and a list of resources you can contact for further help, including financial aid that you may be able to apply for, social services (ie. free, or affordable therapy), or other aid programs that can assist you in making it affordable to move out and live on your own. You may also be referred to a group-home if no independent living option is feasible.

As an additional note, I think you should also be aware that anyone in a professional position that you talk to about having suicidal urges is obligated to report it, and there is a mandatory watch-period you must go through in hospital detainment.

As far as I'm aware however, I don't believe anyone is required to report it if you've never made actual plans to do it, don't think you could go through with it, and haven't had these urges lately. Mind you, I'm not in a professional position, so I can't guarantee anything about that. But they basically just want to make sure you're not at risk of hurting yourself.

Anyways, good luck, I do think you should seek outside help and intervention to deal with this.
 
Mysis said:
and there is a mandatory watch-period you must go through in hospital detainment.

Not in the US, I don't think. No one can force you into detainment for being suicidal. Only if you threaten harm to others along with yourself.

I think Mysis gave **** good advice on this; I'd listen to him if I were you.
 
Not in the US, I don't think. No one can force you into detainment for being suicidal. Only if you threaten harm to others along with yourself.

There's a member on this site who posted a rant on a community message board in which they stated that they were suicidal. Anyways, someone on the board knew them IRL and called the police. They were taken for psychiatric evaluation and a detainment period was mandatory. 48 hours if I remember correctly.

The thing to remember is that suicide is a crime, and any crime that has taken place, or that is about to take place, in which someone will be hurt, must be reported.

There are likely exceptions to this, so I strongly advise that before admitting to anything or creating suspicions, you find out exactly what point the professional confidentiality agreement ends due to legal obligations.

But yeah... If there's reason to believe that you're a serious threat to yourself, they aren't just going to send you home without proper evaluation and treatment and just hope for the best.


And just because I love to google, I did some searching for you...

http://www.guidetopsychology.com/confid.htm
Suicide. “What if I talk about suicide? Not that I plan to kill myself, but sometimes I think about suicide. If I tell you about these thoughts, will you put me in hospital?” is a common concern. Actually, the issue here is whether there is a reasonable suspicion that you are likely to kill yourself. So just thinking about suicide doesn’t necessarily warrant any extreme action on the part of the psychotherapist. A good psychotherapist should know how to spot the difference between fantasy and real danger and should know how to work clinically with all your fantasies, however dark and fearful.

xceptions to Confidentiality

In California law, there are several exceptions to the confidentiality of psychotherapy (see the details of these laws, below).

Three of these exceptions to confidentiality concern harm to self or others:




Where there is a reasonable suspicion of child abuse or elder adult physical abuse;







Where there is a reasonable suspicion that you may present a danger of violence to others;





Where there is a reasonable suspicion that you are likely to harm yourself unless protective measures are taken.


In all of the above cases, the psychotherapist is either allowed or required by law to break confidentiality in order to protect you, or someone you might endanger, from harm.

This is in California, so I can't guarantee it'll be exactly the same in your state. There's more applicable info on the page than just what I quoted.

Now there does seem to be some conflicting information I'm finding... Like some sources state a professional who's a "mandatory reporter" would be required by law to report child abuse that they saw at the grocery store. Where the article I provided there specifically states that the psychotherapist is only required to report child abuse if it's revealed during a therapy session.

So perhaps a psychotherapist isn't in the same category as a social worker who's a "mandatory reporter", or perhaps this is just a variation of state laws. I'm not a lawyer, or a psychiatrist, so I really can't tell you for certain.
 
lol Mysis... :p

I must admit, I've never needed to look up info on detainment for suicide threats before, seeing as how I've never had a problem with such things. :p But now I hafta go check, just to make sure that they can't lock me up if I start yammerin' about offing meself.

Thanks for the info. :p
 

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