Asexuality and relationships

Resently I read article about asexuality. I thought I may be asexual. There was 3 cases in this article, first was normal relationship with man and woman and they did sex because of man, second was relationship with man and woman, no sex but cuddling, third was relationship with woman and woman, no sex but cuddling.

What do you think if your date told he/she is asexual and there is no intrest for sex but only cuddling and being close?

Could you be that kind of relationship as a asexual who make sex even does not want it or owner of normal sexuality who does not do the sex because parter was not intrest to it?

I'd finish the date, but any possible relationship with the girl wouldn't go beyond friendship.

I want a girl who wants to have sex with me. *shrug* That's not all that I want in a woman... but it is an important part of it. Cuddling alone just wouldn't cut it for me.

When I read this article I was suprised how big sacrifices some people are ready to do because of love, especially when sexuality is highlighted on these days. I thought love between these couples must be true love.

Well, there are always areas where a person should be willing to sacrifice for love. I just personally can't sacrifice sex for love. *shrug*

But it is good if those couples really love each other.

Yeah I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't mind being in such a relationship. For me sex is not so important. Problem is only that i fear the dulness of relationships. I want my girlfriend to be nuts. A girl who only wants to cuddle would be a step in the good direction, but than she also needs to like eating animals that are still alive, or jump from buildings for fun.

Yea I wouldn't mind, I just need to be told before hand so I know it's not that she don't love me, but then this is coming from someone who has never been in a relationship.

Edit: My reason being if you think of this the other way around, if something happened to you and you weren't able to have sex, it would be a little sad your partner ditch you just because of that, wouldn't it? Of course it is their freedom of choice, if it is that important then I wouldn't mind them leaving for someone better, but I surely won't leave someone I love because of this issue, that's how I see the whole thing.

Daan said:

but than she also needs to like eating animals that are still alive, or jump from buildings for fun.

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Sorry to ask but do you possible have some laws which protect living animals from things like that? I hope your becoming girlfriend do not break her leg when she want to impress you.

This is suprising, I thought all are going to reply "No way!" lol

Ice said:

Sorry to ask but do you possible have some laws which protect living animals from things like that?

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It depends on the country or state. In many places in this world, eating animals alive is considered to make the animal's meat taste better or be more nutritious. It just goes by whatever the local tradition and food code happens to be.

But I mostly suspect that Daan was perhaps being a bit sarcastic. And if he wasn't, then... *shrug* if that's what they do where he lives, that's just how things are.

Yeah, i was sarcastic, though there is also a slight element of truth, but completely blown out of proportions.

I would get bored also without playing games. And joking is number one thing about nature... If cannot make jokes about cep is not my kind of man. But that is another thing what is funny...

...People are so complicated.....

Very diverse, that is what i like!

Because of my emotional issues, I need sex to be okay in a relationship.

Interesting point. After much thought as romantic it may sound i'd have to pass. Sex is, if not # 1 very important in my relationship.

Hmmm.... Oh God, seems I am very, very bad then, very very as I couldn’t live in such relantionship. Actually I am not experienced in sex at all, I am virgin and I will be untill I won't find the love of my life I m not some mashine sex for the guys that look fun, and nothing is gonna change my mind. Having sex with guy that is not important for me at all. But .... If I find that the one guy I would like to share my life with hehe... I think it would be nice to involve sex as part of the relantionship, I am not saying it s the most important but isn’t it a physical way that love is expressed.
By the way, If sex was unimportant then cheating would also be considered unimportant.
Oh there is another reason why I think I couldn’t fully eliminate sex from the relantioship, I think one day I would like have kids with my partner

That's why most asexuals try to form relationships with other asexuals. Both parties have no need for sex, so no one's making any sacrifices beyond the normal ones that come with any relationship.

Though there are people with low to non-existent sex drives who would be more willing to give up sex to have a loving, lasting relationship.

There are also asexuals who have no need for sex, but will do it if it makes their partner happy. Their partner just has to be okay with the fact the asexual most likely won't experience much from it.

All in all, it comes down to how much you connect sex with love. Most people aren't able to disconnect the two. So a regular sexual + asexual relationship has very little chances of working out. About as much a chance as a homosexual + heterosexual relationship.

tehdreamer said:

There are also asexuals who have no need for sex, but will do it if it makes their partner happy. Their partner just has to be okay with the fact the asexual most likely won't experience much from it.

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I wouldn't be able to enjoy sex if the woman I was with didn't enjoy it. Most of the fun and pleasure that I get from sex comes from knowing that I'm pleasing the girl I'm with.

^^ Another reason why asexual + sexual relationships don't usually work out long term. Though I hear it has happened before. I can't say I know anyone personally who've had success with that. I do personally know people who've had success with sexuals with really low sex drives.