labelsorlove3 said:
Sitting here reading for class, my thoughts took me elsewhere. I realized tonight that I have pretty much no social life outside my best friend (who I rarely get to see because she comes from a really strict family) and then my family. Don't get me wrong I love my family so much and my best friend is great, but I can't remember the last time I went out with "friends" or people beyond my parents and sister.
Usually I'm content staying at home, I love reading and playing video games... working out alone, watching TV... but on days like today I really think that I'm not happy. I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up one day and realize that for the last 5 years of my life I've been miserable but acting like I'm not.
How does a 23 year old girl with no one to "go out with", go out and meet friends? I don't even know where I can go by myself without looking weird... does anyone else have this problem? Or have suggestions.
One of things I've done is to join a group with a shared interest, and take it from there. You see, last year, as my LTR (effectively a marriage in all but name) was falling apart, I took up jogging. Found it was nice to get away and have a little run - I also needed to get fit, and figured, 'what the hell'. To cut a long story short, I found that I enjoyed the running so much, that I could pound out 2 miles a day quite easily - and if I was feeling particularly stressed or particularly happy, I might knock out 5 miles. Not so long ago, I ran 10 miles! Anyway, I was aware of a local jogging club, and about a month ago, I decided to join it. I figured it would be a good way to make new friends, etc etc.
And it's pretty good. At first, it's a bit of a trial, because you're the new person, nobody knows you, and you feel a bit left out on the fringes. But give it time, and you soon find people to talk to. I still feel very lonely for most of the time - but these things do take time, and I'm gonna stick with it.
What I'm suggesting, labels, is that maybe you should try joining a club of some kind? You say you like to work out - how about a gym? Or maybe think of something you'd like to really do, and see if there's a local club or association that might help you. If you like long walks, why not join a hiking group? If there's something you want to learn, why not night classes? Have a good old think about it, and see what you can come up with. Just remember that joining a group will not give you an instant circle of friends (though you probably know this already); as I said, it takes time, and for the first few weeks at least you're likely to feel a bit of an outsider. However, as time goes on, you'll find yourself chatting to more and more people, and don't forget that many clubs usually have a strong social dimension too - BBQs, parties, restaurant nights, that sort of thing.
It's a bold move, joining a new social group or club, and a little scary too, if you've been lonely for a while. But as the old Chinese saying goes, 'the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.'
